


Not a Marrying Woman

by Whoknows3



Series: Not a Marrying Woman [1]
Category: Gone With the Wind - Margaret Mitchell
Genre: Eventual Romance, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-14
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-06-27 20:43:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 44,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19797427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whoknows3/pseuds/Whoknows3
Summary: Scarlett refuses to marry Rhett when he proposes after Frank's funeral.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note: The italicized portions are from the text of Gone With the Wind, Margaret Mitchell's masterwork and the reason you are reading. 
> 
> Nothing you recognize is mine.

_“My news is this,” he answered, grinning down at her. “I still want you more than any woman I’ve ever seen and now that Frank’s gone, I thought you’d be interested to know it.”_

_Scarlett jerked her hands away from his grasp and sprang to her feet._

_“I — you are the most ill-bred man in the world, coming here at this time of all times with your filthy — I should have known you’d never change. And Frank hardly cold! If you had any decency — Will you leave this —”_

_“Do be quiet or you’ll have Miss Pittypat down here in a minute,” he said, not rising but reaching up and taking both her fists. “I’m afraid you miss my point.”_

_“Miss your point? I don’t miss anything.” She pulled against his grip. “Turn me loose and get out of here. I never heard of such bad taste. I —”_

_“Hush,” he said. “I am asking you to marry me. Would you be convinced if I knelt down?”_

_She said “Oh” breathlessly and sat down hard on the sofa._

_She stared at him, her mouth open, wondering if the brandy were playing tricks on her mind, remembering senselessly his jibing: “My dear, I’m not a marrying man.” She was drunk or he was crazy. But he did not look crazy. He looked as calm as though he were discussing the weather, and his smooth drawl fell on her ears with no particular emphasis._

_“I always intended having you, Scarlett, since that first day I saw you at Twelve Oaks when you threw that vase and swore and proved that you weren’t a lady. I always intended having you, one way or another. But as you and Frank have made a little money, I know you’ll never be driven to me again with any interesting propositions of loans and collaterals. So I see I’ll have to marry you.”_

_“Rhett Butler, is this one of your vile jokes?”_

_“I bare my soul and you are suspicious! No, Scarlett, this is a bona fide honorable declaration. I admit that it’s not in the best of taste, coming at this time, but I have a very good excuse for my lack of breeding. I’m going away tomorrow for a long time and I fear that if I wait till I return you’ll have married some one else with a little money. So I thought, why not me and my money? Really, Scarlett, I can’t go all my life, waiting to catch you between husbands.”_

_He meant it. There was no doubt about it. Her mouth was dry as she assimilated this knowledge and she swallowed and looked into his eyes, trying to find some clue. They were full of laughter but there was something else, deep in them, which she had never seen before, a gleam that defied analysis. He sat easily, carelessly but she felt that he_  
was watching her as alertly as a cat watches a mouse hole. There was a sense of leashed power straining beneath his calm that made her draw back, a little frightened.  
He was actually asking her to marry him; he was committing the incredible. Once she had planned how she would torment him should he ever propose. Once she had thought that if he ever spoke those words she would humble him and make him feel her power and take a malicious pleasure in doing it. Now, he had spoken and the plans did not even occur to her, for he was no more in her power than he had ever been. In fact, he held the whip hand of the situation so completely that she was as flustered as a girl at her first proposal and she could only blush and stammer. 

_“I — I shall never marry again.”_

_“Oh, yes, you will. You were born to be married. Why not me?”_

_“But Rhett, I — I don’t love you.”_

_“That should be no drawback. I don’t recall that love was prominent in your other two ventures.”_

_“Oh, how can you? You know I was fond of Frank! I was! I was!”_

_“Well, we won’t argue that. Will you think over my proposition while I’m gone?”_

_“Rhett, I don’t like for things to drag on. I’d rather tell you now. I’m going home to Tara soon and India Wilkes will stay with Aunt Pittypat. I want to go home for a long spell and — I — I don’t ever want to get married again.”_

_“Nonsense. Why?”_

_“Oh, well — never mind why. I just don’t like being married.”_

_“But, my poor child, you’ve never really, been married. How can you know? I’ll admit you’ve had bad luck — once for spite and once for money. Did you ever think of marrying — just for the fun of it?”_

_“Fun! Don’t talk like a fool. There’s no fun being married.”_

_“No? Why not?”_

_A measure of calm had returned and with it all the natural bluntness which brandy brought to the surface._

_“It’s fun for men — though God knows why. I never could understand it. But all a woman gets out of it is something to eat and a lot of work and having to put up with a man’s foolishness — and a baby every year.”_

_He laughed so loudly that the sound echoed in the stillness and Scarlett heard the kitchen door open._

_“Hush! Mammy has ears like a lynx and it isn’t decent to laugh so soon after — hush laughing. You know it’s true. Fun! Fiddle-dee-dee!”_

_“I said you’d had bad luck and what you’ve just said proves it. You’ve been married to a boy and to an old man. And into the bargain I’ll bet your mother told you that women must bear these things’ because of the compensating joys of motherhood. Well, that’s all wrong. Why not try marrying a fine young man who has a bad reputation and a way with women? It’ll be fun.”_

_“You are coarse and conceited and I think this conversation has gone far enough. It’s — it’s quite vulgar.”_

_“And quite enjoyable, too, isn’t it? I’ll wager you never discussed the marital relation with a man before, even Charles or Frank.”_

_She scowled at him. Rhett knew too much. She wondered where he had learned all he knew about women. It wasn’t decent._

_“Don’t frown. Name the day, Scarlett. I’m not urging instant matrimony because of your reputation. We’ll wait the decent interval. By the way, just how long is a ‘decent interval’?”_

_“I haven’t said I’d marry you. It isn’t decent to even talk of such things at such a time.”_

_“I’ve told you why I’m talking of them. I’m going away tomorrow and I’m too ardent a lover to restrain my passion any longer. But perhaps I’ve been too precipitate in my wooing.”_

_With a suddenness that startled her, he slid off the sofa onto his knees and with one hand placed delicately over his heart, he recited rapidly:  
“Forgive me for startling you with the impetuosity of my sentiments, my dear Scarlett — I mean, my dear Mrs. Kennedy. It cannot have escaped your notice that for some time past the friendship I have had in my heart for you has ripened into a deeper feeling, a feeling more beautiful, more pure, more sacred. Dare I name it you? Ah! It is love which makes me so bold!”_

“Rhett, no. Stop making fun of me. Of all days.” 

_“Come, Scarlett, you are no child, no schoolgirl to put me off with foolish excuses about decency and so forth. Say you’ll marry me when I come back or, before God, I won’t go. I’ll stay around here and play a guitar under your window every night and sing at the top of my voice and compromise you, so you’ll have to marry me to save your reputation.”_

 _“Rhett, do be sensible. I don’t want to marry anybody._ And you…you don’t want me, you…”

“Scarlett, stop being a coquette. I’ve told you I do. Enough that I’m willing to marry you.”

“As if that’s some favor to me. Rhett, you can be so mean. Sometimes I think you are my only real friend, the only person I can talk to. And then you are so mean. And you…” Scarlett threw her hand over her mouth. The brandy was making her head swim and losing her tongue. She must not let him have the other hand or give him anything else to hold over her head. She thought about how he humiliated her at the jail. How he humiliated her by asking her to be his mistress. How he didn’t even look back when he abandoned her and Melly and Wade and Prissy and the baby on the road to Rough and Ready. 

_Before she could withdraw her mind from its far places, his arms were around her, as sure and hard as on the dark road to Tara, so long ago. She felt again the rush of helplessness, the sinking yielding, the surging tide of warmth that left her limp. … He bent back her head across his arm and kissed her, softly at first, and then with a swift gradation of intensity that made her cling to him as the only solid thing in a dizzy swaying world. His insistent mouth was parting her shaking lips, sending wild tremors along her nerves, evoking from her sensations she had never known she was capable of feeling. And before a swimming giddiness spun her round and round, she knew that she was kissing him back._

_“Stop — please, I’m faint!” she whispered, trying to turn her head weakly from him. He pressed her head back hard against his shoulder and she had a dizzy glimpse of his face. His eyes were wide and blazing queerly and the tremor in his arms frightened her.  
“I want to make you faint. I will make you faint. You’ve had this coming to you for years. None of the fools you’ve known have kissed you like this — have they? Your precious Charles or Frank or your stupid Ashley —”_

_“Please —”_

_“I said your stupid Ashley. Gentlemen all — what do they know about women? What did they know about you? I know you.”_

_His mouth was on hers again and she surrendered without a struggle, too weak even to turn her head, without even the desire to turn it, her heart shaking her with its poundings, fear of his strength and her nerveless weakness sweeping her. What was he going to do? She would faint if he did not stop. If he would only stop — if he would never stop._

_“Say Yes!” His mouth was poised above hers and his eyes were so close that they seemed enormous, filling the world. “Say Yes, damn you, or —”_

“No.” 

“Scarlett!”

“No. Rhett, no. I won’t. You…you don’t love me, you just want .... and you … you humiliate...” Scarlett clenched her jaw and looked down. She would not abase herself like this in front of Rhett. Not again. “Please leave.”

Rhett put his fingers under Scarlett’s chin and tilted her head up. She would not raise her eyes to meet his. “Look at me.” Scarlett continued to look down. “Scarlett, look at me. How do I humiliate you?” 

“Rhett! Please, it’s not proper.” 

“No. We’ve been over that. This is something different. How do I humiliate you?”

Scarlett felt her face warming. She jerked her chin out of his hand, but she couldn’t bring herself to speak. 

“Scarlett.” Rhett demanded, his voice tight. 

“Rhett… you … you …” Hot tears began to silently roll down Scarlett’s cheeks. 

Rhett pulled her close and began kissing her tears, then her eyes and forehead and then he was kissing her lips tenderly. 

Scarlett wanted to tell him to stop tormenting her, she was so faint but grey prickled the edges of her vision.

Then Mammy and Uncle Peter were bending over her as she lay on the sofa. Rhett stood in the background saying “No, Mammy. We were talking a little business and she just fainted.” 

“Business!” Scarlett thought, “That varmint.” She lay and wondered why that hurt her so. Well, she’d think of it later. She opened her eyes and Mammy said, “There, there, Chile. Today a horrible day. You need to rest.” Mammy turned to Rhett and sternly told him Miss Scarlett was too overcome with grief to possibly speak with him today. Rhett nodded his understanding. “I hope you are feeling better soon, Scarlett. I’ll come by to check on you.” Scarlett lay blinking slowly. Then Rhett departed. 

“Mammy,” Scarlett asked, “I know Melly is busy with Ashley and the children, but…could you please ask her to come sit with me a little while?”


	2. Chapter 2

Scarlett lay in her bed enjoying the long deep breaths she could take now that her stays were off. Mammy had sent Uncle Peter to fetch her and she knew Melly would come. As she continued breathing deeply her head slowly stopped swimming. She knew she was still tipsy. But she also knew Melly could calm her fears and the feelings inside her.

When Melly arrived she perched next to Scarlett on the bed and asked softly, “What is it, dear?”

“Oh, Melly! It’s awful. I’m so ashamed! But I have to tell someone!”

“Scarlett, you are my very dear sister, and you can tell me anything.” 

“It’s humiliating!” Scarlett cried. But Melly made soothing noises and took Scarlett’s hand in hers. 

Scarlett sat up and threw her arms around Melly crying, “Rhett proposed! Today! On the day of Frank’s funeral. He doesn’t even love me, Melly and he’s so mean! He told me he can’t go all his life waiting to catch me between husbands and laughed. He actually said he wanted me! He doesn’t love me. He wants me like …” Scarlett couldn’t say, that Watling woman. Scarlett couldn’t tell Melly Rhett had already asked her to be his mistress or that she’d … that’s she’d gone to him at the jail. 

“Shhh, shhh.” Melly said. “Of course Captain Butler loves you. He’s loved you for years. But Scarlett, … are you…”

“Of course not! I told him no.” 

“Oh my dear, it’s just, today, people would say you didn’t love Frank. Especially after you loved Charlie so much you turned down all of those proposals during the war.”  
Rage flashed in Scarlett as it always did when Melly thought better of her. 

“But, I”

“I know, dear, I know. I know you loved Frank and you are broken hearted.”

Scarlett sniffled and pulled out of Melly’s arms. “Melly, I don’t know why … I’m so upset that Rhett proposed. But I am, I am… angry with him. He laughed at me. And, and ….”

“Oh Scarlett, I always thought you’d have married Captain Butler during the war if you still weren’t so upset about dear Charlie. I know that you have loved him for a long time and he broke your heart when he left us on the way to Tara. It used to make me feel so happy how your eyes would light when he came calling. It was the only time at all during the war you ever looked happy. I know Charlie would want you to be happy. Perhaps, in time, when you are less grieved about Frank, you will see how much you love him again. When the time is better…”

“Melly, during the war Rhett said he’d only marry someone if he couldn’t have her any other way. He just … he wants to … buy me…like .... And I...” Scarlett looked down in shame. She sold herself to Frank. And Rhett knew it. Melly probably knew it too. Ashley certainly did. And if he’d helped her in the jail, she would have sold herself to Rhett then. But now! How could he ask to buy her now! She didn’t need him. And she did not want to submit to him. 

Melly laughed. Scarlett’s eyebrows drew together and her eyes flashed. “No, no, dear, don’t be upset with me. I’m sorry. It’s just Captain Butler loves you. He stayed in Atlanta and rescued us during the siege, for you. He bought your earbobs so you could buy the mills. And, dear, I know… I know he was riding with you to keep you safe. He loves you to distraction. And, you know how men say silly things when they are in love. I know you are heartsick and confused. And the time isn’t right. You are just distraught dear, or you would see how much he loves you.”

Scarlett listened and wondered if Melly could be right. Despite thinking the best of people, Melly was often right about people’s inner thoughts. Scarlett wondered how Melly knew what people thought when she, Scarlett, never knew what people were thinking. Might Rhett actually love her? Had he said he loved her? Scarlett couldn’t remember. She knew he said he wanted her though. Scarlett was filled with a mix of hope and anger and disappointment. She didn’t understand her feelings and she hated feelings she couldn’t understand.

When Melly fiercely pulled Scarlett into her arms and patted her back Scarlett realized she’d begun crying again. “There, there, you haven’t lost Captain Butler because you said no. He understands. You buried your husband today. You couldn’t possibly… he understands. He’s waited for you before and he will wait again. Don’t worry dear.”

“Melly?”

“Hmm?”

“Thank you.” Scarlett thought of how Melly would have charged down the stairs and stabbed that Yankee at Tara. She didn’t know why the memory kept playing in her mind, but it comforted Scarlett. Melly could soothe her fears. She was almost as good as Rhett that way. And now Melly might be all she had. But she wouldn’t be able to sleep in Melly’s bed to stave off the nightmares now. Well Rhett had never soothed her nightmares, and Frank hadn’t either. She would be alone, and she would survive, but she wished the house wasn’t so quiet. She couldn’t talk about this anymore. 

“How are the children?”

“Wonderful, Darling, I think Wade is too young still to really understand and he’s happy playing with Beau. And Ella is just a delight. You must be so happy to have her.”

“I miss them. It’s so quiet without them.” I’ve had too much brandy, Scarlett realized. I must stop talking. “Melly, I’m tired.”

“Of course you are. You rest and I will see you tomorrow.” Melly stood and Scarlett laid back. Melly drew the covers up to Scarlett’s shoulders as if she were tucking in a child. Scarlett’s eyes watered and she smiled weakly, it was so like her mother. Melly smiled and left in a rustle of skirts.


	3. Chapter 3

Scarlett lay in the dark and thought over Melly’s words. Rhett must love her. Melly said he did. But. Why was he so mean then? He laughed at her and humiliated her. He’d never let her forget her proposition at the jail. But he was also so nice. He did ride with her. And lent her the money for the mills and let her lie about how she’d gotten it. He warned her Frank was in the klan. But he always tormented her about Ashley. 

Ashley. Would Melly tell Ashley Rhett had proposed? What would Ashley think if Scarlett married Rhett? Why was Scarlett thinking about marrying Rhett? She was not going to marry that skunk. 

“Stop it.” Scarlett told herself. “I can’t stand it now. I’ll think about it tomorrow when I can stand it better.” 

§§§

Rhett stepped inside his room at the National Hotel and turned and punched the door. “Damn!” he yelled. How could she have turned him down? Rage made his blood boil. He thought of going to see Belle and using one of her girls to work out some of his frustration. But he did not want to see Belle now. She’d laugh in his face. And he needed to make arrangements now. He’d not be leaving for London tomorrow. He’d need to delay. Possibly until he got Scarlett to marry him. And he’d need a guitar. He was going to compromise her. Damn her. 

He stormed to the corner and pulled the bell pull. He needed to send telegrams and to contact his lawyer. Business had to be dealt with. Then a plan to compromise Scarlett. 

After sending telegrams to London explaining he would be delayed several weeks, Rhett drafted a letter to his lawyer in Charleston with detailed plans for the attorney to carry out. As he wrote Rhett felt some of the anger seeping out of him. That little fool. How could she not know he loved her! He brought her countless gifts during the war. He danced with her at the bazaar and brought her out of her fake mourning. He stayed while the city was under siege to make sure she was safe. Hell, he’d ever told her that while they were out buggy riding. He stole a horse – a capital crime – for her and dragged her through an army. Yes, he left her, but he knew she’d get to Tara. And he would have taken her if he hadn’t left. He couldn’t trust himself not to do it when they got to Tara, or even before. He knew she’d face hardships, the whole South would. But he’d hoped they would help her grow up and get over her obsession with the wooden-headed Ashley Wilkes. 

She must know he loved her. But she didn’t know. She’d said he didn’t love her. She was the most obtuse little minx. She’d also said he’d humiliated her. Rhett sighed. He had. He’d been so angry at the jail. He’d thought she’d come to see him. And he knew the joy had shown on his face. He’d had to stop her from seeing it. Perhaps in his rage and disappointment he’d lashed out a bit too much. He’d have to stop her from seeing his love now, somehow without humiliating her. 

Rhett sighed and returned to drafting. Business first, then he would think of Scarlett. 

§§§

Scarlett woke screaming and shaking. She’d been running through the mist again. Her head and heart were both pounding. Scarlett went to the kitchen to get some cornbread. She always slept better on a full stomach. When she returned to her room, she could not get back into the bed she’d shared with Frank. Thoughts of the awkward and painful relations with Frank filled her head as she stared down at the rumpled blankets. Would relations with Rhett be as awful? Somehow she doubted it. When Rhett kissed her something stirred and tickled low in her belly. Dimly Scarlett knew that had something to do with relations. She felt her face start to flame with these thoughts. She was relieved she didn’t have to have relations now. And if she stayed unmarried she would never have to again. 

Scarlett placed her candle on the bedside table and crawled under the blankets. She pulled her hair out from underneath her and blew out the candle. Staring into the darkness she wondered if relations with Ashley would be like with Frank. Ashley’s kisses didn’t stir her belly and her blood the way Rhett’s did. “I’m just angry with him for endangering the mills. That’s why I’m thinking these thoughts. Of course kissing Ashley would be just as exciting as Rhett if we were able to kiss not in hiding.” Scarlett thought to herself.

But then Melly’s arms around her and her comforting words a few hours ago came to Scarlett’s mind and she was filled with shame. Melly is the only woman who actually liked Scarlett and Scarlett knew it. Cathleen Calvert had liked Scarlett, but she was so simple and now that she’d married that Yankee Hilton, Scarlett knew she would likely not see Cathleen again. Tears streamed down Scarlett’s face again as she realized if she lost Rhett, Melly would be the only person she could talk too. Scarlett wouldn’t be able to compromise herself with Ashley. She’d promised him she’d never throw herself at his head again. But as Scarlett lay in the dark she knew Melly was the reason she’d keep that promise.

Ashley hadn’t soothed her fears about the tax money. And he hadn’t tried to get any money for her. But Melly had immediately supported Scarlett’s plan to go to Atlanta. Scarlett suspected Melly knew Scarlett was going to go to Rhett. She doubted that Melly had known how Scarlett planned to abase herself though. Scarlett wondered if some day she would be able to tell Melly about it. Melly thought Scarlett loved Rhett the whole time she was married to Frank and yet she thought Scarlett loved Frank too. As she wondered why Melly would think such an outlandish thing Scarlett succumbed to sleep. 

§§§

Scarlett awoke at the sound of Wade’s little feet barreling up the stairs and his chirping voice yelling, “Mama! Mama!” Her head was pounding and she felt exhausted as if she hadn’t slept at all. 

Wade opened the door and ran to the edge of her bed. Scarlett was stunned when he tried to climb up into the bed with her. He was always climbing onto Melly and onto Rhett, but he didn’t usually climb onto Scarlett. 

“I missed you mother,” he said as he buried his face into her neck. Scarlett smoothed his hair back from his forehead and asked, “Were you good for Aunt Melly?”

“He was a perfect angel.” Melly’s voice answered as she walked in holding a wailing baby Ella. “But someone else needs her mother.” 

Scarlett sighed and nodded and tried to smile. Not having any more babies was yet another reason to never remarry. Melly passed Scarlett the screaming baby and Scarlett began to unfasten her nightgown ribbon. 

“Come, Wade,” Melly said. “Let’s go downstairs and see what Cookie has in the kitchen while Mama feeds Ella, then they will come down.” 

“Yes, Aunt Melly.” Wade slid off the bed and reached for his Auntie’s hand. As the door closed behind them Scarlett sighed. Today was going to be a long day. She didn’t want to think. She would have to distract herself somehow, but she also didn’t want to talk to anyone. 

§§§

Melly was sitting in the library with Pitty and Wade when the doorbell rang. 

Aunt Pitty turned and looked expectantly down the hallway towards the kitchen. 

“I’ll get it, Auntie, Uncle Peter is in town, Mammy’s dressing Scarlett and Prissy has the baby.” Melly rose and went to the door. 

“Why, Captain Butler, how lovely to see you,” Melly said as she extended her hand. 

“Why, thank you, Miss Melly. The pleasure is mine. Is Scarlett home?” 

“Oh,” Melly said and bit her lip. Surprise flooded Rhett. Scarlett had told Melly he’d proposed. “Please come in,” Melly continued, “Scarlett is upstairs with the baby.”

Melly let Rhett into the library where he took Pitty’s hand. “Miss Hamilton” Rhett intoned as he kissed Pitty’s hand, “I am so very sorry for your loss. I know it was quite a shock.” 

“Thank you, Captain Butler, it was,” Pitty replied and dabbed her eyes with her handkerchief. 

Rhett sat down and Wade crossed the room and climbed into Rhett’s lap. “Uncle Rhett? Will you stay?” 

“You are getting so big my boy!” Rhett said as he patted the boy’s back. “Of course I will stay and visit for a while, Wade. I came to see you, didn’t I?” 

“No.” Wade said. “Will you stay? Uncle Frank left and I want you to stay.” 

“Oh,” Rhett said looking at Melly. “I plan to stay as long as I can.” 

“Good.” Wade nodded. “Now Ella doesn’t have a daddy either and she will need an Uncle Rhett too.” 

Rhett just chuckled and stroked the boy’s back. 

“Are you planning to stay in Atlanta for a time, Captain Butler?” Melly asked. 

Rhett paused. Melly knew. He wondered what Scarlett would have told Melly. And why she told Melly. He cleared his throat before answering. “I plan to stay for some time, though I have some urgent business in London and I must go soon.” He hoped Melly understood he was staying for Scarlett. 

“I understand. Let me go and see if Scarlett will be coming down to visit.” 

Melly could hear Rhett ask Wade something in soft tones as she climbed the stairs. It warmed her heart how Rhett loved Charles’s son. He was such a good boy, and so like Charles and he deserved to be loved deeply. 

“Scarlett?” Melly asked as she knocked on Scarlett’s door. 

“Come in, Melly,” Scarlett answered. Melly found Scarlett standing at the window staring out with a forlorn expression. 

“Did you see Captain Butler arrive?” 

“Yes. Melly, I…” As Melly reached Scarlett’s side she saw that Scarlett’s eyes glistened with tears. “I can’t see him today. I can’t … I…” 

“I know, dear. Don’t worry. It has been such a hard week. Captain Butler loves you, and he loves Wade, and I am sure he will grow to love Ella. He will understand. I will tell him how you are too overwhelmed with grief for visitors today. He’ll come back. You take the time to grieve, Scarlett. You’ve had a shock and a loss.”

Scarlett opened her mouth to thank Melly but no sounds came out. Melly understood though. She patted Scarlett’s arm soothingly and said, “I’ll go let him know.”

§§§

When Melly returned to the library she found Mrs. Merriwether and Mrs. Meade sitting with Aunt Pitty and Rhett. Wade was still perched on Rhett’s knee with one arm slung around Rhett’s neck. “I’m sorry Captain Butler, Miss Scarlett is too overcome with grief to see visitors today. Mrs. Meade, Mrs. Merriwether, it’s so lovely of you to come, but Scarlett is still very upset today.” Melly repeated as she went and kissed each lady’s cheek. 

“Humph.” Mrs. Merriwether grumbled eyeing Rhett. 

“I will let her know you have come to see her though. I’m sure it comforts her to know how her old friends care.” 

“Well, I must take my leave, so you ladies can visit.” Rhett said as he lifted Wade to his feet. 

“NO!” Wade screamed throwing his arms around Rhett’s leg and pushing his face into Rhett’s thigh. “NO! You said you would stay Uncle Rhett! Don’t leave too! NO! NO!” Wade continued. 

Rhett tried to gently pry the boy loose but terror gave Wade strength. “No! Don’t leave! Uncle Rhett! You promised you would stay!” he continued to scream and sob. 

“Son,” Rhett intoned calmly and softly as he leaned over and lowered his voice. “Son, I’m not going to leave you. I’m just going to leave the house. I have to go to my own home.” 

“No! You promised you wouldn’t leave. You have to live here!” Wade yelled. Melly began to also attempt to pull Wade loose and the two adults together succeeded in loosening his arms. 

“Shhhh, son, shhhh” Rhett said as he squatted down and took the boy in his arms. Wade threw his arms around Rhett’s neck and Rhett stood and carried the boy into the parlor away from the eyes of Mrs. Mead and Mrs. Merriwether with Melly trailing behind them. “Wade, son. I have to go back to where I live, but I will see you tomorrow. I’m not leaving you. I will do everything in my power to always be here for you, but you live here and I live somewhere else.” 

“No, no, no” Wade continued to sob. 

“Wade, how old are you, son?” 

“Five.”

“So, my little man, you are old enough to know that people live in different houses. Aunt Melly doesn’t live here either anymore, but you know she will see you tomorrow too, right?”

“Yes.” Wade snuffled. 

“Yes. That’s right.” Rhett sat on the sofa and rested Wade in his lap. Melly moved closer, but she hesitated before sitting on the sofa next to such a big man. Melly liked Captain Butler and was so happy that he loved Scarlett, but men made her nervous and she remained standing. 

Rhett ran his large hand down the boy’s small back. “So you have to be brave for your mother tonight and I will see you tomorrow. I promise. Do you understand?”

“Yes.” Wade sighed. 

“That’s a good boy,” Rhett said as he continued to soothe his hand down Wade’s back. “I’m going to go now. When will I see you?” 

“Tomorrow” Wade answered dutifully. “But, Uncle Rhett? Won’t you move here? It would be so nice?” 

Rhett chuckled and looked into Melly’s eyes over Wade’s head. Melly looked quickly to the floor as her face flushed. “Say goodbye to Uncle Rhett, Wade, you will see him tomorrow.”

“Goodbye, Uncle Rhett.” 

“Goodbye, son” Rhett said as he stood and placed the boy on the floor. Rhett tapped Wade’s nose and said, “Be good for your mother. I will see you tomorrow.” 

The boy nodded and reached for his Aunt Melly’s hand as Rhett walked out.  



	4. Chapter 4

Scarlett watched Rhett walk down Peachtree Street from her window. As he retreated further and further Scarlett felt a despair she did not understand. She wished Rhett would look back at the house and see her at the window and she was also so thankful he did not. “Why do I feel this sadness?” she wondered. 

She was pulled from her musings by Wade’s hands in her skirt. “Mama!”

Scarlett hadn’t heard Melly or Wade coming up the stairs. She looked down and rubbed her hand through Wade’s hair absently. 

“Why don’t you rest, dear?” Melly asked as she approached and placed her hand on Wade’s back. 

“Melly, I … I am so sad, and … so… confused…” Scarlett’s voice trailed into a whisper. 

“Mama!” Wade’s voice interrupted, “Uncle Rhett left and he promised he would stay!” 

“Yes, Wade, dear,” Melly soothed, “But what else did your Uncle Rhett tell you?”

“He has to live in a different house like Aunt Melly, but he will come to see me tomorrow.” Wade replied taking his face out of Scarlett’s skirts. “Mama, Uncle Rhett and Aunt Melly should live in this house with me.” Wade demanded. 

Scarlett felt her face warm and her heart begin to race. “Melly, what? What is he saying? What happened?”

“Shhh, Wade, don’t upset your mother right now, she’s very sad. Go into the nursery and play with Prissy and Ella for a little while.” 

“No.” Wade said burying his face in his mother’s skirt again. 

Scarlett who had never heard Wade tell Melly no, sighed deeply. “Melly, can you get rid of Mrs. Meade and Mrs. Meriwether, then we can go sit in the library together. Won’t that be nice, Wade?” Scarlett begged Melly with her eyes. 

“Of course, dear. Wade is feeling out of sorts, I’m sure from … the suddenness, and we can all sit together.” 

Melly left and went downstairs. Scarlett continued to stare out the window. She could no longer see Rhett’s back and she felt her eyes water. 

When Scarlett sat down in the library a short time later, Wade crawled into her lap. “Ungh,” Scarlett grunted as he settled himself across her, “You are getting so big.”

Scarlett wanted to talk with Melly, but Aunt Pitty wouldn’t leave the room. Scarlett could swear sometimes that woman just had a sense for when something dramatic would happen if she left the room. Scarlett could hear the voices of Wade and Melly and Aunt Pitty but none of their words sank in. “What had Wade said to Rhett? What had Rhett said to Wade?” As Scarlett’s mind wandered she wondered why Rhett was on her mind and not Ashley. Or Frank. She’d been so upset yesterday at ruining Frank’s life and causing his death, but today all she thought of was Rhett. 

Scarlett thought of everything she would give up if she married again. Her store, her mills, her saloon property, her independence, her money. She knew she wouldn’t be able to bully Rhett the way she had Frank. If she married Rhett, would she be able to keep her businesses? They brought her security. She needed them. What if something happened? She had two children and Tara and Aunt Pitty, and her Aunts in Charleston, and if the mills went under she’d have Melly and Ashley and Beau to feed too. Ashley. Damn him for putting her mills at risk. What had he and Frank been thinking? Why, why couldn’t they see the way to prosper was to use the Yankees now and then cut them later? Scarlett intended to take every penny she could from them. Scarlett thought of how Ashley’s mill was losing money and her heart sank. What would she be able to do about that? 

“Scarlett? Scarlett?” Melly’s voice sounded worried. “Mama!” Wade yelled next to her ear. 

Scarlett jumped, “I’m sorry, I was woolgathering.” 

Melly smiled and said, “yes, you have so much on your mind. How about the children say with me one more day, I need to return home and check on Ashley, and you can spend another evening resting, then they can come home tomorrow.” 

“Yes. Yes, Melly, thank you.” Scarlett agreed readily, it would be too quiet, but her nerves were frayed and she’d like not to have to deal with her children tonight. “Let me feed Ella so you can take her.” Scarlett slid Wade off her lap and stood. 

“Mama! No! Don’t leave!” Wade yelled and grabbed her skirts. 

“Shh, shhh, honey,” Melly said rushing forward. “Mama isn’t leaving, she’s just going upstairs to feed Ella.”

“Wade, wouldn’t you like to go spend the night with Aunt Melly and Beau?” Scarlett asked. 

Wade didn’t answer but Scarlett could feel him pulling her skirts tighter. “Wade, please, please let go.” Scarlett tried to keep her voice calm. 

Melly knelt at Wade’s side and whispered, “Wade, dear, just one more night. You know Uncle Ashley is hurt and I’d love if you could come and help me take care of him. Beau is scared and he needs his cousin. You will help me, won’t you Wade? And tomorrow you can come home and be with Mama and your Uncle Rhett will visit too.” 

“Yes, Aunt Melly,” Wade said releasing his mother. 

Scarlett nodded her thanks at Melly and swept from the room. Wade clinging on her skirts reminded her of when he’d cling to her skirts and follow her around Tara like a wraith during the war. Why was he so clingy? He wasn’t particularly attached to Frank. Wade didn’t climb onto to Frank like he did Rhett and Melly and now, perhaps, Scarlett herself. So why was the boy so upset Frank had been killed. It didn’t occur to Scarlett that her child had been through a lot in his short life and just as it had settled, it had changed again when his Uncle Frank left suddenly. Scarlett had no idea how Wade feared more people would leave him. 

\- - - 

The next morning Rhett called early and found Wade was still at Melly’s. “Mammy, may I take him downtown for some candy? I think he needs some man to man attention.” Mammy nodded and gruffly replied, “Yes, he do.” 

“Thank you, Mammy. I’ll go and get him from the Wilkes. Should I return him here or there?” Mammy suspected he was asking about Scarlett with this question. She stared him down for a moment, then replied. “Bring him home.” 

“Of course, Mammy. Thank you.” Rhett bowed slightly and walked swiftly around the house to cut through the hedge to collect Wade. 

\- - -


	5. Chapter 5

After dinner Scarlett sat alone on the porch swing. The baby and Aunt Pitty were both napping and Melly had returned home after bringing Ella home. The weather was warming but Scarlett still had a shawl wrapped about her. She worried about what to say to Rhett when he brought Wade back. Would he laugh at her? Kiss her again? Scarlett could feel her face warming at that thought but she shivered and pulled the shawl tightly around herself. 

She saw Wade and Rhett approaching. As soon as they entered the gate, Wade broke free of Rhett’s hand and raced through the lawn and up the steps to climb onto Scarlett’s lap. “Mama!” he cried. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too, darling,” Scarlett cooed as she kissed his head. Wade wriggled himself comfortable as Scarlett watched Rhett stroll up the walk and to the stairs. 

“I thought you were leaving,” Scarlett said as she watched Rhett come near. 

He noticed she didn’t rise to greet him or even extend her hand for him to kiss. He sighed and came to sit next to her on the swing. 

“Rhett!” She whispered looking between them. It was not proper for him to be sitting with her. He should have seated himself in one of the rockers. Scarlett thought about moving away from him, but Wade weighed her down. And she didn’t want to. She’d sat next to him so often when in the carriage. How was this any different?

“Scarlett? Scarlett?” She heard Rhett.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I wasn’t listening.” 

“Honest as ever.” Rhett laughed. “I was merely asking how you are feeling today.”

“Oh. I’m well, thank you.” 

Rhett chuckled, “Why lie about that? How are you really feeling, Scarlett?”

Scarlett thought for a moment before deciding she probably had nothing to lose. “Tired. Worried.” 

“What are you worried about?” 

Scarlett glanced down at Wade who was knotting the ribbons decorating the front of her dress. “Stop that, Wade. Did you have a nice trip with Uncle Rhett?” 

“Yes, Mama! We got candy and watched the geers fix a train!” 

“Geers?” 

“Engineers,” Rhett supplied, “we went over to the yards to watch while we enjoyed our candy.”

Scarlett smirked at this, she could just picture Rhett smiling and enjoying the hard candies with her son. He could be so silly sometimes. 

“Wade, why don’t you go tell Mammy about our adventure?” Rhett suggested.

“He doesn’t have to.” Scarlett stammered. 

Rhett chuckled and said, “Go ahead, son. I’ll see you before I leave.” 

Wade nodded and slid off of his mother’s lap to go into the house. 

“Using your son as a shield, Scarlett?” Rhett asked at the same time Scarlett said, “Son?” 

“You first my dear,” Rhett said and Scarlett watched as the kind smile that had been on his face while speaking to Wade melted into blankness. Scarlett blinked and her eyebrows drew together in confusion. 

“Why do you do that?” 

“What?”

“Make your face hard.” 

“What do you mean?”

“Rhett, you know what I mean. You were smiling while Wade was here but now you’ve made your face hard. Why?” 

“Well, Scarlett,” Rhett lied, “I think that’s just how my face looks.”

“No, not always,” Scarlett countered.

“Yes, when I am listening carefully,” Rhett obfuscated. He watched as her eyes narrowed at him. He wanted to avoid this topic. “I wanted to hear what you have to say.” 

After a few moments Scarlett gave in and continued, “Well, then, why are you calling my son, son, Rhett?” 

Rhett sighed, “He’s a growing boy, Scarlett. Soon he’ll be at an age where he needs a father.”

“But you aren’t his father,” Scarlett interrupted. 

“No, right now I’m not, but one day I might be.” He felt Scarlett shift uncomfortably away from him on the swing seat and he knew he had to risk something. “Besides, even if I never am, no matter what, Scarlett, I love that little boy and I want him to know that he has me. That I will be there for him.” 

Scarlett felt a pleasant warmness at these words. But then worry crept in, “Like your ward?” Scarlett asked.

“No, not exactly like that. I took on my ward because he is the son of someone dear to me, two someones dear to me actually, but his father can’t acknowledge him and his mother can’t care for him. His whole existence is fraught with pain. I care very much for the boy, but it is not the same as Wade.”

“If he was yours, would you acknowledge him?” 

“What a question! How very forward of you Mrs. Kennedy.” At his words Rhett saw Scarlett’s face flush. She looked away and Rhett sighed. This was going to be harder than he thought. He’d have to give her something else. Where could he draw the line? He needed to rope her in or he would have to compromise her. He knew she’d resent that and their marriage would be off to a better start if she married him willingly. 

“Scarlett. Look at me.” When her face turned to his he ran the backs of his fingers down her cheeks and looked into her eyes imploring her to believe him. “He isn’t mine, Scarlett. He’s the son of two old friends.” 

Scarlett nodded. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry.” 

“It’s all right, Scarlett. You weren’t prying. I want you to know me, but sometimes it’s hard for me to share myself. Do you understand?” 

“Yes,” Scarlett nodded. That was something she actually understood. Rhett was the only person she could share her innermost thoughts with and it was so hard because he could be so mean. He could turn her blunders into weapons and shame her with a few words. Scarlett wondered if Rhett felt the same about her. Was he choosing his words carefully? 

Scarlett sighed as she thought. She hated thinking and that seemed to be all she did these days. 

“Is there something else on your mind, Scarlett?”

“No … not exactly,” she stammered. 

“What is it?” 

“I … Rhett … I can’t talk about it with you.” Scarlett looked so far away from him her shoulders turned. 

“Is it me?” 

“Rhett!” 

“Well, is it?”

“That is none of your business, Rhett Butler and I’ll thank you to stop being such a cad and sticking your nose where it does not belong!”

Rhett laughed as the surge of joy swelled up in him. She was thinking about him and his proposal. He could win her over. 

“My apologies, my dear, I did not mean to pry.” He could feel her relax slightly as he parroted her words back at her. “Now, may I go in and say goodbye to Wade before I go?”

“You’re leaving?”

“Yes. It seems you have a lot to think over and I don’t want to distract you.”

“Oh, but…”

“May I say goodbye to Wade?”

“Oh, yes, of course. Please come in.” Scarlett rose and led Rhett into the house. Mammy came into the hall to collect Scarlett’s shawl. Scarlett frowned. Mammy was too quick. Had she been listening at the window? Now Scarlett would have to try and recall if there was anything Mammy would chastise her for. 

“Mammy, where is Wade? In the nursery?”

“Yes’m. Want Prissy to fetch ‘m?” 

“Yes, please. Captain Butler promised Wade he would say goodbye.”

Mammy nodded and lumbered off while Scarlett led Rhett into the library. Upon entering the room she stood awkwardly instead of taking a seat and offering Rhett one. Despite being a rogue he wouldn’t take a seat in her house unless offered, so he stood next to her silently studying her face. While she wasn’t staring at the floor, she wasn’t meeting his eyes. She seemed a subdued version of her fiery self. They stood in silence as they waited for Wade. Scarlett lost in thoughts and Rhett content for her to be comfortable in his presence. Besides, he wanted to leave her wanting him, not irritated. 

Just as Rhett was beginning to think he’d have to break the silence Wade finally appeared. “Uncle Rhett! Are you leaving! Won’t you please stay?”

Rhett squatted down to look the boy in his eyes. “Do you remember what we talked about?” 

“Yes.” 

“What?

“You have to leave but you will always come back and you are in … something?”

“Your heart, Wade. You are in my heart and I am in yours so we aren’t really separated when I go home or when I have to travel for business. Do you understand?”

“Yes, but you should stay.” 

Rhett chuckled and smoothed the boy’s hair. “I can’t son, we talked about this. But I will visit as often as I can and I’m not going to leave you.”

“Will you visit when we go to Tara?”

“Well, I’m not sure about that, Tara’s a long way away and besides remember how I told you I have to take a long trip?” 

“Yes. But, Uncle Rhett, you should come to Tara. It’s sad without Grandpa. At Christmas mother was sad and grandpa was gone to heaven with my daddy.” 

Scarlett seated herself on the sofa at this. “God’s nightgown!” she thought, “what has my son been telling Rhett!?” She could feel her heart beating rapidly as fear overtook her. Would Rhett humiliate her with something her son said? 

Rhett glanced at Scarlett before answering Wade. “We’ll see but for now, I’m going to go home tonight and I will come and visit you and your mother again tomorrow. Understand?”

“Yes,” Wade nodded. 

“Good,” Rhett said as he hugged the boy. “Goodbye, Wade. I will see you soon.”

“Bye, Uncle Rhett,” Wade whispered. As Rhett stood Wade walked over and began to clamber onto his mother’s lap. 

“Goodbye, Scarlett” Rhett said as he leaned over Scarlett and Wade to kiss Scarlett on her forehead. 

Scarlett looked into his eyes and answered softly, “goodbye.”

After she heard the front door close Scarlett pulled her son close and asked with as calm a voice as she could manage, “Wade, what did you talk about with Uncle Rhett?”


	6. Chapter 6

Rhett visited Scarlett and Wade every day for the next few days. Wade was often nearby while Scarlett and Rhett chatted amiably about nothing. Rhett didn’t push. He certainly never mentioned his proposal. Each day that he didn’t Scarlett wondered why. 

Scarlett laid in her bed at night and thought about Rhett. He hadn’t kissed her or tried to take any liberty at all since his proposal. He’d said he’d compromise her if she didn’t agree. But he wasn’t. He was acting like the perfect gentleman. Scarlett didn’t like it. Something made her uneasy and she didn’t know what. 

On Tuesday morning she was sitting in the parlor having a cup of tea with Melly while Beau and Wade played with blocks spread all over the middle of the room. Scarlett thought they should be playing in the nursery, but Melly loved to have them nearby and Scarlett was desperate to talk to Melly alone so she relented. Between the callers paying their respects to Frank’s widow and Mrs. Meade and Mrs. Merriwether, who called three days in a row, and Rhett and Aunt Pitty, Scarlett hadn’t had a moment alone with Melly. Scarlett had even been irritated the night before when Ashley and Melly were over for supper and after Pitty had retired Ashley hadn’t removed himself so the ladies could talk, he’d sat in the parlor and had coffee with them. Scarlett had been furious with him. 

As she’d laid in her bed last night she wondered why she was so angry with Ashley and why she didn’t feel that she was betraying him with her anger. Then Wade had crawled into bed with her and his wriggling and breathing was too distracting for Scarlett to think at all. She’d wanted to remove him to his own bed, but, Scarlett was lonely and even though he was a little boy it was comforting to not be alone with her thoughts. 

Now she tried not to scowl at the two boys building a tower they would just knock down in a few minutes. The silence stretched on as Scarlett and Melly each privately tried to think of how to bring up Rhett. Scarlett knew it was up to her. Melly was too polite to bring up such a sensitive topic. 

Scarlett couldn’t tell Melly she was in love with Ashley but had promised herself that she’d never do anything about it. Could she tell Melly it was someone else? Melly wouldn’t believe that. Maybe she could tell Melly it was Frank and she couldn’t betray Frank’s memory? Scarlett wasn’t sure if Melly would believe that either. 

Finally Scarlett said, “I’m going to go back to the mills tomorrow.”

“What? Scarlett, why? I thought you were going to go to Tara to rest and to grieve.”

“I think I will still go to Tara. But I’ve been away a week and there are things I need to take care of.” 

“Are you sure it’s wise? Aren’t you scared … after what happened?” 

“No, I’m not afraid.” As Scarlett said it, she realized she was afraid. “The Yankees cleared out that shantytown and I don’t think anyone will bother me.” 

Melly nodded. She didn’t believe this but she did not know what else to say and she did not want to be rude. “Well, if you think that’s best, dear, I’m sure it is.” 

“It is Melly, I have to make enough money that the Yankees can’t ever ruin me again. I can’t let Wade and Ella starve, and Aunt Pitty, and the folks at Tara, and my aunts in Charleston. I have to keep everyone safe and fed and clothed.” 

“I’m sorry, Scarlett, I didn’t mean to upset you. I just… worried.” Melly was uncomfortable, talk of money always made her uncomfortable. Melly remembered how going to bed hungry had brought on Scarlett’s nightmares and knew why Scarlett was afraid of going without food. Melly thought that if Scarlett married Captain Butler, not only would she be happy, she would not have to work at the mills or worry about starving. Plus Melly knew that although Scarlett hadn’t said her and Beau and Ashley that Scarlett included them in her list of people to support. Melly remembered how Scarlett had given Ashley a job so they could return to Atlanta and support themselves. Whatever would Melly do without Scarlett? Melly smiled, then deftly changed the subject. “What do you think of having the lady harpists play selections from La Traviata at the next Saturday night musicale?” 

§§§

Wade had gone to Melly’s to play with Beau after dinner so Scarlett sat on one of the rocking chairs on the porch rocking with Ella and thinking. She’d go to both mills tomorrow and get the ledgers. Johnnie Gallegher had probably been robbing her blind this week and Hugh was running Ashley’s’ mill so Scarlett would need to stop it from losing money. 

Scarlett would spend the rest of the week straightening out the mills and then making sure the mills and the store were prepared for her to be gone for a while, then she would take the children and go to Tara. The thought of Tara usually filled Scarlett with a sense of calm but this afternoon Scarlett worried about seeing Suellen. Sue was married to Will and expecting their first child so she shouldn’t still be upset that Scarlett married Frank, but Scarlett knew she was. And now Frank was dead. Will had telegrammed that they could not come to Atlanta for Frank’s funeral because Sue was increasing and Will didn’t want her upset. Scarlett had been grateful. But now she thought her first words with Suellen after Frank’s death would probably have been better with an audience. Well, it couldn’t be helped. Suellen would have let them starve and lose Tara before she would have paid the taxes so Suellen could suffer being a little disappointed. Anyway, Scarlett’s marriage to Frank had kept the roof over Suellen’s head for more than a year. Suellen should be grateful. 

Scarlett sighed and shifted the baby to her other arm. Ella was almost asleep, but so was Scarlett’s arm. She did not want to think about Suellen. She’d think about it later. A picture of Rhett soothing her on the day she’d vomited in the carriage and he’d told her he’d known she was pregnant floated in her mind. What had he said that day? Why else would he have been riding with her? Or? Why else, what? Scarlett couldn’t remember Rhett’s words, but she could remember the stifling feeling of the lap robe and the humiliation of vomiting in front of a man. Rhett never teased or tormented her about that though. 

Scarlett began listing the times Rhett had been nice to her and the times he had been mean in her head like a math problem and as if conjured by her thoughts Rhett appeared at the gate. Scarlett glanced at the swing as he came up the walk. She wished she’d been sitting on it instead of a rocker so he’d sit next to her, but Ella was soothed by the rocker and, anyway, she told herself she didn’t want him to sit that close. 

Rhett came up and took off his hat and bowed slightly, “Good afternoon, Mrs. Kennedy, Ella.” Scarlett smiled and without thinking leaned forward. Rhett smiled and kissed her offered cheek. Scarlett felt her face grow hot as she watched him turn and pull one of the other rocking chairs nearer to hers. 

As Rhett settled into the chair, Scarlett offered, “Wade’s over at Melly’s playing with Beau.” 

“I see. How is he?” 

“Fine.” 

Rhett sighed, it frustrated him that Scarlett could be so obtuse, even about her own children. “I think he’s scared, Scarlett. Has he been acting scared?”

“Of what!” Scarlett exclaimed, offended on behalf of her young son. 

“He’s had a hard life for such a little boy. He was a baby during the early war but old enough to remember by the time of the siege and he was terrified the night we evacuated Atlanta, and then he starved for a year at Tara, then he came back to Atlanta and things settled for a while, but then the man who is supposed to be his new father was killed. His world has been turned over several times, Scarlett. That has to be scary for such a young boy.”

After a moment Scarlett admitted, “He has crawled into my bed the last few nights. And he tosses and turns something awful.” 

“Maybe he has nightmares.” 

Scarlett nodded. Nightmares. Another thing she’s told Rhett about that he doesn’t tease her for. Scarlett fleetingly wondered how Rhett decided what to be nice about and what to be mean about before stating, “Well, there isn’t anything I can do. He’ll have to just see that we are all right. I’m going to earn money enough that he’ll never starve again and then he will understand.” 

Rhett frowned, “No, Scarlett. He doesn’t understand that. He’s afraid of the Yankees but he’s not afraid that he’ll suddenly starve tomorrow. He’s afraid the Yankees might kill him, not starve him. Money won’t soothe his fears.” 

“Well, what else am I supposed to do?” Scarlett asked indignantly. 

“You could try to understand how he sees it. He’s afraid, Scarlett, but not of the same things you are.” 

“I am not afraid.” Rhett passed that statement over and said, “He needs to know that he’s loved and cared for and that people will be with and there for him, that’s what will make him feel protected.” 

“Are you saying I’m a bad mother! I am protecting him!” Scarlett cried, waking Ella who whimpered. 

“No, I’m not. I’m just saying Wade will feel protected by love and affection and you will feel protected by money. Your fears are different.” 

Scarlett’s eyebrows drew together, she felt there was an insult in there, but she wasn’t sure what it was. Rhett reached over and took Ella from her arms. He tickled the baby under her chin and kissed her cheeks and made silly noises until Ella was smiling. Then he rested Ella against his shoulder. Scarlett watched as her daughter settled against Rhett and her eyes drifted closed. Why was Rhett so good with children? She was their mother, yet she knew Rhett could soothe her children better than she could. Well, she’d learn to be a better mother when she had money enough to make sure her children were safe. 

Rhett watched Scarlett’s expression darken. “What are you thinking about, my dear?”

“I’m going to the mills tomorrow. I need to get the ledgers and see to some things. Then, next week I will go to Tara.” 

“What’s so urgent at the mills you can’t see to it after you’ve rested at Tara?” 

“Oh, Rhett, I’m sure Johnnie Gallegher is stealing from me and selling my lumber out from under me and Hugh Elsing is running Ashley’s mill until his shoulder heals and you know he’s incompetent. I have to make sure he’s at least making costs. Plus I need to make sure all of the contracted deliveries are scheduled and complete and supplies are ordered so that I can go to Tara for a few weeks. And the store too, though once I see to the orders they should be all right. They behave better.” 

Rhett wondered if Ashley was also on Scarlett’s mind, but refrained from asking. Scarlett stopped talking. She wanted to ask Rhett if he would ride out to the mills with her tomorrow. She was afraid, she thought of Melly’s words and the feeling of the man ripping her dress open. But she did not want to be indebted to Rhett at all, so she didn’t ask. 

“What time do you expect Wade home, Scarlett? I would like to see him. I promised him I would.” 

“His supper is at 5, Prissy will go and get him.” 

“It’s 4:30 now, will you send Prissy for him so I can keep my word.”

Scarlett searched Rhett’s face. She wasn’t sure what she was looking for, but she didn’t see it. She nodded and said, “Of course, please excuse me.” She rose and went into the house to search for Prissy. 

After dispatching Prissy to retrieve Wade she turned to return to Rhett and the porch. Scarlett paused in the front door and watched Rhett slowly rocking Ella. The baby waved her chubby little fist into Rhett’s chin over and over, but Rhett didn’t mind. Ella was almost six months old. That’s how old Wade was when Scarlett had moved to Atlanta. She thought of all the times they’d sat on this porch during the war, Rhett with Wade on his knee. Scarlett recalled that horrible night during the siege when he’d asked her to be his mistress. She’d hoped he was asking to marry her so she could lord it over his head. He hadn’t proposed then, but he had now and she didn’t want to lord it over his head. “God’s nightgown! Do I want to marry him!” Scarlett was stunned at the thought and just as she thought she’d retreat into the house to escape Rhett and wait for Wade’s return, Rhett turned his head and met her eyes. Scarlett could feel herself turn crimson and see the flush all the way to the backs of her hands. What could she do now! There was no escape. He could see her blush too. 

“Scarlett, come sit down.” 

Scarlett swallowed and squared her shoulders and marched to the chair she’d vacated. Once she was seated she busied herself straightening her skirts, willing the color to drain from her face. 

“Scarlett, you know you can talk to me.” 

“I know.” Rhett could see the fear in her eyes though. He’d seen her square her shoulders and knew she was ready for battle. As much as he loved the foreplay of a good battle with Scarlett there was too much to lose right now. How was he going to get her to see what was right in front of her face? And how was he going to do it without exposing himself? Rhett already knew he’d meet her in the woods tomorrow. He’d hoped she would ask, but after it seemed clear she would not, he’d changed the subject. 

Rhett rubbed his hand on Ella’s back. He let the silence stretch out. 

Wade finally burst through the door shouting, “Uncle Rhett! Uncle Rhett! We built a tower as tall as me with all of the blocks!” Ella picked her head off of Rhett’s shoulder and blinked sleepily, but she didn’t cry. Rhett handed Ella to Scarlett and pulled Wade up on his knee. 

“Then did you knock it down?” Scarlett asked wondering why her son found this so entertaining. 

“Of course,” answered Rhett as Wade said, “Yes and it made a thunder noise!” 

Rhett chuckled and smoothing Wade’s hair off of his forehead said, “It sounds like you had a wonderful day.”

“Yes,” Wade agreed nodding. “Tomorrow Aunt Melly is going to take us to the park. Are you going to come visit me tomorrow?” 

“I’m not sure. I promised I’d visit you today and here I am, though.” 

Wade smiled and buried his head into Rhett’s chest. Scarlett watched as Rhett smiled down at Wade and felt a flare of jealousy. Rhett certainly did love her son. Is that why he wanted to marry her now? For her son? Scarlett continued to stare as the two chattered on comfortably. 

Mammy soon appeared at Rhett’s side. “C’mon Mr. Wade, it’s time for supper.” 

Wade slid off Rhett’s lap and then turned and hugged Rhett. “Sweet dreams, son,” Rhett said kissing the boy’s forehead. 

“G’night Uncle Rhett.” Wade smiled before following Mammy into the house. As the door closed behind them Scarlett realized her son had not said anything to her. She frowned. Ella was fussing and Rhett reached over and rubbed his hand down Ella’s back. Scarlett could feel her pulse quicken, but she didn’t understand why. 

They sat in silence for a time; Scarlett rocking the fussing Ella and Rhett running his hand down the baby’s back. Soon Ella began to rub her face in Scarlett’s bosom and mewl. Scarlett flushed and tried to pull the baby away from her body, but Rhett’s hand stopped the motion. 

“Rhett?” 

“Rhett?” 

“Mmmm?” Rhett turned to Scarlett from where he’d been staring off into space imagining Ella was his baby and he belonged in this intimate moment on the porch. 

“I need to take Ella inside. I… Um… She’s hungry.” 

Rhett nodded and stood taking Ella into one arm and then reaching down for Scarlett’s elbow with the other. Once Scarlett was standing he stepped up to Scarlett so their bodies were touching and shifted Ella into Scarlett’s arms. 

Scarlett felt flustered, Rhett was too close. Was he going to kiss her? Scarlett turned her face up to Rhett’s and he smiled. Then he took her right hand from where it was wrapped around Ella’s back and kissed her hand. He turned her hand over and kissed Scarlett’s wrist. He could feel her fingers brush his face and her pulse thudding against his lips. 

Placing Scarlett’s hand back against Ella’s back Rhett inclined his head and said, “Goodnight, Scarlett. I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

“Goodnight, Rhett,” Scarlett answered, she smiled into his eyes and then turned and carried the fussing baby into the house.


	7. Chapter 7

Scarlett left early the next morning for the mills. She went to Johnnie Gallegher’s first, hoping to catch him off guard. The yard looked fairly sparse, either the ledgers would show unexpected sales or he was selling out from under her, a lot. After a short discussion, Scarlett gathered the ledgers and left without telling Gallegher she planned to go out of town. She’d have to figure out some way of checking up on Gallaher while she was at Tara. 

Scarlett arrived at Ashley’s mill in low spirits. She was frustrated with Johnnie Gallegher and her feeling that she needed him to make money along with their mutual dislike. On her way from Gallaher’s mill to Ashley’s she’d tried to conjure up the images of her golden knight. She could see so clearly the day he returned from his grand tour and how his golden hair gleamed in the sun as his soft grey eyes smiled down at her. She remembered endless hours tearing through the countryside on and off the bridle paths together and the time he carried her all the way home after she sprained her ankle. But none of the memories filled her with the same warm glow they used to. She knew Ashley’s books would be a mess and even at Ashley’s best his mill often barely covered expenses, with Hugh running it for the several weeks Ashley’s shoulder would need to heal, Scarlett would be sure to lose money. Maybe she should close Ashley’s mill while she went to Tara. But that would leave her entirely dependent on Johnnie Gallegher and the store. The store was still letting too much go out on credit and she couldn’t fix that until she returned from Tara. So, it would really leave her entirely dependent on Johnnie Gallegher’s mill for several weeks of income. Maybe she should only stay at Tara for a week. Or perhaps she shouldn’t go at all. 

When Scarlett entered the office she saw a flash of fear pass over Hugh’s face. Knowing she’d be unable to curb her tongue, she greeted Hugh and told him she was just picking up the ledgers. Hugh handed them over and Scarlett wished him a nice day and left with no further discussion. 

Scarlett turned the horse and carriage around in the yard and headed back out onto the Peachtree road. Soon she saw Rhett approaching on his huge stallion and relief flooded Scarlett. She slowed the horse and was genuinely smiling at him as he pulled aside her. 

“Would you like me to drive?”

“Yes.” Scarlett nodded and Rhett yelled “Woah!” to both horses as Scarlett pulled the carriage to a stop. Rhett tied his horse to the back of the carriage and climbed in next to Scarlett. 

Scarlett passed him the reins and said, “Thank you, Rhett.” She paused for a moment before continuing, “This horse is much easier on me than the old nag and I’m sure she helped save me last week. I’m not sure I ever properly thanked you.” 

Taking the reins, Rhett looked down at Scarlett, “You are quite welcome, my dear. I am glad you like her.” 

Rhett clucked to the horse and they started out slowly. 

Scarlett felt comforted by Rhett’s presence and that puzzled her. Shouldn’t she feel longing for Ashley? She hadn’t been alone with him in over a week. She was in love with Ashley, not Rhett. Wasn’t she? Yes, of course, she had always loved Ashley. She was just grateful Rhett was going to drive her home safely. As they trotted slowly along Scarlett could feel herself relaxing. There was something about Rhett, though, she just wasn’t sure what it was. She leaned back against the seat and sighed. 

At the sound of Scarlett’s wistful sigh rage shot through Rhett. Damn her! She’s right next to me and she’s dreaming of that miserable Wilkes. 

“How was your little gentleman, Scarlett?”

“What? Hugh? I barely talked to him.”

“No. Don’t play with me. How was Ashley today?” Rhett’s voice was tight and it annoyed Scarlett. What was wrong with Rhett? She’d been so happy to see him and now it seemed today was a mean day. 

“I don’t know, Rhett he’s home recovering not at the mill. He can’t return to the mill until he doesn’t need the sling any longer or the Yankees might know he was injured in the raid. Doctor Meade said at least four weeks.”

“Don’t you think they’ll wonder why he’s not at work?”

“How should I know, Rhett? Yankees think all sorts of foolish things. Besides, why do you care how he is? I thought you didn’t like Ashley.” 

“I don’t dislike Ashley, Scarlett. I feel sorry for him.” 

“Why on earth do you feel sorry for Ashley!? There is nothing to feel sorry for!” Scarlett knew that wasn’t true. Since they’d come back to Atlanta there was something downtrodden about Ashley, but Scarlett was sure he’d get over it once he learned how to properly operate the mill. 

“I feel sorry for him because he belongs in the old world, not operating a mill for you in this one. He isn’t adjusting, Scarlett. He longs for the world before the war, but it will never be that world again.”

“Humph,” Scarlett grumbled bringing her body to sit upright the way she knew a lady should. She opened her mouth to reply, but Rhett continued on, “Yes, he longs for and belongs in that old world and he’ll never be happy until he adjusts to this one, but he does not want to adjust. And then there’s you.”

“Me! I don’t make Ashley unhappy! I…”

Rhett reached across himself to put his hand onto her arm as he cut her off. “Yes. You make him unhappy Scarlett, he wants you and feels guilty for wanting you and it’s made worse because he’s living off your charity.”

“Rhett!” Scarlett screeched drawing away and turning on him. “Ashley loves me! And he’s not living off my charity! How dare you! Get out of this carriage this instant!”

“Scarlett,” Rhett sighed. “Ashley isn’t in love with you the way you want him to be. He loves Miss Melanie. But he’s drawn to you and to your passion for living,” Rhett mocked, “and he wants you. You represent the old world he lost to him, the world of his youth. And he is living off of your charity and what’s worse is he knows it.”

“He is not! He earns his money managing the mill!”

“Does he now? And how well does he manage it? Are you making a lot of money from his mill, Scarlett?” 

Rage was making Scarlett’s hands tremble. “You cad!” She screamed. “Stop this carriage and get out! To think I was happy to see you! Get out! You are being mean and nasty because you are jealous I love Ashley and loves me and you can’t understand that! You are the one who is low and dirty and wants women and …” Scarlett stopped screaming. She could not say “asked me to be your mistress” out loud. 

Rhett sighed and drew the carriage to a stop. “Scarlett, I am not trying to upset you. I want you to be happy and Ashley will never make you happy. Ashley will never be happy and you can’t make him happy.” 

Scarlett turned angry narrowed eyes upon Rhett. “Get out!” 

“No. I’ll leave you when we are safely through shantytown. It’s not safe for you to drive through there alone.” 

“Then why did you stop?” 

“So I could turn my full attention to you. I would like to finish the conversation before we must drive through shantytown.”

“We are finished.” 

“Scarlett, do you believe me?”

“About what?” Scarlett asked, confused. What was Rhett going on about now?

“That I want you to be happy?”

“No! I believe you want you to be happy and you just … you just want…relations,” Scarlett whispered, “and you don’t care what happens to me then.” 

Rhett’s knuckles were white he was clenching the reins so tightly, but Scarlett didn’t notice. 

“You are wrong.”

“Rhett!”

“Not about that, I do want to have relations with you, and so does Ashley, we are men, Scarlett.” Scarlett flushed and turned her face away. “But I do care what happens to you. I want you to be safe and happy and I believe I’ve shown that to you in many ways.”

“What? How?” Scarlett felt flustered. Rhett was usually not open like this and it made Scarlett nervous. Scarlett felt a little bit like she was an injured rabbit and Rhett was a hawk circling in. 

Rhett chuckled and asked, “Fishing for compliments, my dear?”

“No,” Scarlett snapped, her voice shaking. She could feel her pulse racing and her face was still warm with embarrassment at their conversation. 

“I brought you out of your fake mourning, I made you the belle of the ball at the bazaar when we first danced, because that’s what you wanted, I brought you necessities and luxuries during the war, I stayed in this godforsaken city during the siege in case you needed me, I stole a horse and drove you out of the city, as soon as I was released from jail I found you to make sure the taxes were paid, then, even after you married Frank, I met you in these woods to drive you while you were expecting Ella so you would be safe.” 

“And you got me this horse,” Scarlett added thinking. Melly had said a lot of the same things the night Rhett proposed. Scarlett trusted Melly, but she was not sure she trusted Rhett. “But you left us.”

“That night, on the way to Tara,” Scarlett added when Rhett didn’t respond. 

“I had to.” 

“No, Rhett, you could have stayed and taken us to Tara.”

“No, Scarlett, I needed to go with the army and if I’d have gone to Tara with you, I wouldn’t have ever been able to leave you.”

Scarlett’s brows drew together and Rhett could see she did not understand what he was trying to imply. But he couldn’t risk more than implication at this moment. She still thought she was in love with Ashley. Rhett had to make her see reason, and soon. 

“Scarlett?” 

“Hmmm?” Scarlett answered without looking at him. Damn. He wasn’t sure if he’d gone too far, or not far enough. Well, he’d find out soon enough.

“Are you ready to go on?”

Scarlett nodded and turned her face to the front. She did not make eye contact with him or turn to look at him. 

Rhett slapped the reins lightly on the horses back crying, “Yah!” and they began the ride back into town. 

§§§

Scarlett was lying in bed thinking about what Rhett had said to her and how parts of it were so similar to what Melly said. Did Rhett care for her? Might he love her? He really had done so many nice things for her. She thought about the kinds of things Rhett hadn’t mentioned like the time he saved her from embarrassment during the dinner party when they ate the last chicken and Scarlett was playing songs that were too sad, or how she could talk about her business to him honestly and frankly and how he spoke to her like an equal, unlike most men who were shocked or talked to her like she was some silly little ninny who couldn’t possibly understand interest rates. But if he cared, why was he so mean sometimes? And why would he ask her to be his mistress? Every time she thought of it and of how she’d offered herself to him at the jail Scarlett was overcome with shame. 

Just as Scarlett was contemplating her own shameful behavior, and feeling that somehow Rhett had driven her to it, her door creaked open and Wade came in. 

“Wade?” 

“Mother?” 

“Come here, darling.” Wade came to the edge of the bed and Scarlett sat up and helped pull him up as he starting climbing up. Wade climbed over Scarlett and cuddled up next to her. 

Scarlett laid back down and pulled Wade close into her side. “Did you have a bad dream?” She asked him softly. 

“Yes.”

“What happened?”

“The Yankees came and took me.”

“Oh, dear. Well, the Yankees can’t get you.”

“Why not?”

“I will protect you.”

“From the Yankees?”

“Yes.” 

“From all the Yankees?”

“Yes.”

Wade exhaled sleepily and curved his body into Scarlett’s. Rhett was right, Wade was afraid of the Yankees and having nightmares about them. As they lay there breathing quietly Scarlett wondered if Rhett would be upset when Wade crawled into their bed if they married. “God’s nightgown!” Scarlett thought to herself, “What am I thinking!” Scarlett could feel herself turn red in the darkness. She hoped Wade was already asleep, his face was turned away and she couldn’t tell. “Enough. I’ll think of this tomorrow.” Scarlett thought as the rhythmic sounds of Wade’s soft breathing soothed her and she finally fell asleep. 

§§§ 

Although it was still March, Thursday was warm. Scarlett had gone into town in the morning to order the supplies for the convicts and the raw lumber for the mills, then she headed to each mill to leave the inventory slips. She wanted the trip to go quickly. She’d spent more time in town than she’d wanted this morning and it was after 1 o’clock when she’d started out towards Johnnie’s mill. 

It was nearing three when she came upon Rhett waiting at a crossroads, his horse turned to watch for the carriage coming from Ahsley’s mill. She smiled when Rhett heard her approach and turned to watch. She was happy to see him, she realized. This confused her because she was still angry at him for yesterday, wasn’t she? No matter, she was glad she wouldn’t have to drive through shantytown alone.

When she pulled the horse to a stop where Rhett waited, Rhett said, “It’s getting late, I thought you’d be coming from the other direction.”

“I wish I was,” Scarlett answered, “But I had to order supplies this morning and was in town too long. I just have to drop the slips at Ashley’s mill and then I’ll be finished.” 

Rhett nodded and tied his horse to the back of the carriage as he listened. He climbed in and said, “To Ashley’s mill?” 

Scarlett hesitated. She knew they were at not only an actual crossroads but the proverbial kind too. If Rhett drove her to the mill, Hugh would see and he would tell his mother who would tell everyone. All of Atlanta would know Rhett was driving Scarlett around again when Frank had been killed mere days ago avenging Scarlett. She knew that if she asked Rhett to wait here for her to return he would not and that would be the end of whatever it was between them. Without knowing exactly why she didn’t want that, she knew that she didn’t and said, “Yes, thank you,” as she handed Rhett the reins.

Rhett felt a surge of triumph as they headed down the narrow road. They would be seen and she knew it, and she hadn’t told him no or asked him to wait in the woods. If she wasn’t afraid to be seen with him, she must be coming around to his point of view. They belonged together. 

They drove in silence for a while before Scarlett said, “Rhett? Wade has nightmares.”

“I see.” 

“Well, what should I do?”

“What are his nightmares about?” 

“He said last night that the Yankees came and got him.”

“What did you say?”

“I told him they wouldn’t get him because I would protect him.”

Rhett smiled with a joy even Scarlett could see. “Good, that’s exactly what you should tell him.”

“I’m not just telling him that, Rhett! I am protecting him! I’m protecting him right now from the Yankees! What do you think I have the mills for!”

“Shhh, soothe your ruffled feathers, I was paying you a compliment,” Rhett answered. 

“Oh. Thank you then.” 

Scarlett put her hand in the crook of Rhett’s elbow, “How can I stop his nightmares?”

“I’m not sure you can, Scarlett. What helps you not have nightmares?” 

Scarlett shuddered. Sometimes she hated that Rhett knew so much about her. But his voice and his eyes were kind and his arm felt relaxed under her palm. She didn’t think he was teasing her. So she answered honestly, “Nothing really, they are better when I don’t go to bed hungry but sometimes they come even when I … am not hungry.” 

Rhett nodded, “Does he have them every night?” 

“Well, I think so, the first few nights after he came home from Melly’s I didn’t ask him why he crawled into the bed with me. Last night was the first night I asked him what his nightmares are about.”

“Why last night?” Rhett was very curious about what made her be aware of Wade enough to ask. He hoped it was their talk on the porch. And what had she done the nights she didn’t ask? 

“I was still awake.” 

“I see.” Rhett nodded. 

Scarlett felt he misunderstood. “It’s just, sometimes when he wakes me I’m too sleepy to really be aware, and one night he didn’t even wake me, he just got into the bed and was there when I woke up.” 

“So what do you usually do?”

“Well, I just soothe him, I hug him and tell him he’s all right.” Scarlett shrugged. “And I let him sleep in the bed with me. The other night he just kept crying so I sang to him until he fell asleep.” Scarlett felt embarrassed, but she didn’t know why. Those were the things Melly had done long ago at Tara that had made Scarlett feel better. 

Rhett could feel that Scarlett was going to withdraw her hand, so he drew his arm in to trap her hand between his arm and body. “I think those are all the right things to do, Scarlett.” Rhett said. Scarlett exhaled, relieved. “And I think when he’s awake, you just remind him that he’s loved and safe and I think he’ll grow out of it.” 

“What if he doesn’t?”

“He will.” Scarlett wanted to counter that she hadn’t grown out of it and she was a grown woman. But instead she looked at Rhett’s hands on the reins and his strong arms and her small hand on his arm. She was glad that she could talk to Rhett about the things she thought about. She felt some unknown tension ease out of her and they rode to the mill in silence. 

When they arrived, Rhett dismounted and helped Scarlett out. She turned when he wasn’t following her inside and he said, “Go handle your business, I’ll wait here.” 

Hugh watched from the door as Scarlett approached. Well, now everyone will know for sure, Scarlett thought. She didn’t care though; whose business was it who rode in her carriage with her? No one’s. Scarlett shook the thought out of her head and entered the lumber office. 

As she settled at the small table with Hugh all Scarlett could think was she wanted this to be quick. She recalled all the times she’d met with Ashley in this office and how she liked for those meetings to drag on and on. She wondered how she would feel if she were sitting down with Ashley instead of Hugh while Rhett waited outside. She smiled to herself, Rhett would not have waited outside if it were Ashley. 

Scarlett began explaining the supplies she’d ordered and when they’d be delivered and where to have the slips signed and which had balances owing upon delivery. She asked Hugh for all of the order contracts, she’d make a schedule for him to follow while she was at Tara. Hugh nodded his understanding. 

Well, then, I will see you tomorrow and we will go over the schedule.”

“That’s fine, Mrs. Kennedy,” Hugh was glad when she finally left.

§§§ 

Once they were a good distance from the mill, Rhett asked Scarlett if she was still going to go to Tara.

“Yes, on Monday. Saturday night is a musical and I promised Melly I would help set up even though I can’t attend,” Scarlett said sourly. “And, Sunday the Jonesboro station isn’t open, so I will take the children and go on the first train Monday morning.” 

“And how long will you stay there?”

“I’m not sure. Probably only a week or two. I need to get back to the mills and I have to start making some changes at the store. I want a rest, but I can’t rest for too long.”

Rhett nodded. “Scarlett, I have to go to London.” 

“I understand. How long will you be gone?” 

“At least 8 weeks. It’s a long passage and I need to be in London for a time and I must also do some traveling in England.” 

Scarlett nodded. She felt trepidation, but she didn’t know why this made her anxious, so she said nothing. 

“I don’t like the idea of you in these woods alone when I am not here.” 

“I have to go to the mills, Rhett. I have to make money and I have a pistol.” 

“That pistol didn’t do you much good last time.” 

“Rhett!”

“Scarlett, I’m being serious. I’m worried about you, and I have to go to London.”

“Rhett, I’m sure it will be fine.” 

“I’m not so sure. Scarlett, come with me.” 

“What! Rhett, no! Are you asking me … No! Rhett, how could you, after …”

“No, no, no, Scarlett, shhhh. I’m not asking you to be my mistress.” 

Scarlett could feel her heart racing and angry tears pricking at her eyes. Rhett shifted all of the reins into one hand and took his other hand in long slow sweeps down Scarlett’s back. She was trembling. He wanted to stop the carriage, but he knew they needed to get through shantytown while it was still daylight. 

“I’m, not Scarlett. I’m asking you to come as a friend, a traveling companion, that’s all.” 

“Rhett! I can’t travel with a man, and what about my children!”

“They can come too, Scarlett, and Prissy and Mammy.”

“No.” 

“If you don’t want to travel with a man, Scarlett we could get married, then you would be traveling with your family.” 

Scarlett looked at Rhett. There was something in his eyes she didn’t understand. 

“No, Rhett, I … no.” Scarlett’s voice was shaking. Scarlett felt trapped in the moving carriage and was starting to feel panicked. “No.” She shook her head. 

Rhett swept his hand down her back one more time, then tucked her into his side. She surprised herself by going willingly and placing her head on his shoulder. Scarlett didn’t know why she should behave this way, she wanted to run from the carriage and she also wanted to scoot closer and let her whole body rest against Rhett’s. She breathed deeply against his chest. She could smell whiskey, tobacco and horses along with something comforting and manly. Scarlett closed her eyes and breathed.

Rhett slowed the horse, Scarlett needed time to calm down before they hit shantytown and then they’d be back in Atlanta all too soon. Rhett’s mind was racing, he could feel Scarlett relaxing against him, he’d been surprised when she hadn’t resisted his embrace and had even put her head on his shoulder. One of her hairpins was poking uncomfortably into his neck, but Rhett said nothing. He would hold her as long as she wanted. Perhaps bringing up marriage again was a blunder, but Rhett needed to leave by the end of next week at the latest and he wanted Scarlett to come with. He was afraid if he left her alone he’d come back to find her engaged to someone else, or even worse, married again already. 

They drove on in silence and Scarlett was a dead weight against Rhett’s chest. Her breathing was slow and even and Rhett wondered if she’d fallen asleep. When the road bent around an ancient pine, Rhett knew they were only about a half mile from shantytown. 

“Scarlett?” Rhett drew his fingers down her arm. “Scarlett?”

“Hmmm?” Scarlett murmured and cuddled into him. Then Rhett felt her stiffen. He squeezed her to him for a moment knowing she was about to draw away. 

“Rhett?” 

“Yes, my dear?” 

Scarlett didn’t say anything, she breathed in deeply one more time before drawing herself up and pulling away. Rhett withdrew his arm from around her and drew the backs of his fingers down her reddened cheek. She looked adorably rumpled and laying against him had flattened part of her hair. “Did you sleep well?”

Scarlett smiled shyly and looked down before returning her eyes to his face. “Yes. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep.” 

“Don’t be sorry, my dear, I’m glad you rested. But we are coming up to shantytown, so be alert.” 

Scarlett nodded and Rhett watched out of the corner of his eye as she smoothed her dress and patted her hair.

Rhett urged the horse into a trot and they passed through shantytown unmolested.

Once they were through shantytown the ride back into Atlanta was short. Soon Rhett pulled to a stop, it was time for him to return to his horse and let Scarlett drive into town alone. 

“Are you going back out to the mills tomorrow?” Rhett asked.

“Yes. I have to return the ledgers and double check the supplies for when I am gone and schedule the deliveries for Ashley’s mill.”

“When do you plan on returning?”

“How should I know, Rhett? I haven’t even looked through the orders yet, things might be even worse than I fear.” 

“All right, my dear, I would like you to select a time so instead of my waiting in the woods all day to run into you, I can meet you once you are away from the mills like civilized people.”

“Meeting in the woods is hardly civilized.” 

Rhett burst into laughter, “No, no it isn’t, but we’ve been doing it for months. And I meant meeting at a set time like civilized people not meeting in the woods.” 

Scarlett was surprised to find she did not feel embarrassed by this misunderstanding as she usually did when she misinterpreted something Rhett said and he laughed. And she did want Rhett to ride with her tomorrow. 

Scarlett thought it over for a moment then nodded and said, “I’ll go to Johnnie Gallegher’s mill first, it’s likely to be less a mess and then to Ashley’s. I’ll leave there by three o’clock.” 

“That sounds fine. Don’t leave before 2:00 though, or you might be too close to shantytown before I reach you.”

“I won’t.”

“Good. And Scarlett…” Rhett leaned in and kissed Scarlett slowly. It wasn’t the same as the night he proposed or the night he left her on the roadside. There had been something urgent then. This was more tender, but it still made Scarlett’s heart race and a shimmery warmth to pool into her belly. Scarlett grasped her trembling fingers into Rhett’s lapels. Rhett’s left hand still held the reins but his right was smoothing down Scarlett’s side, the way he always did to Wade, but it was not comforting at all, Scarlett felt like tiny sparks were left on her skin in the wake of Rhett’s hand all the way through her dress and corset and chemise. 

When Rhett pulled back, Scarlett followed him, so he kissed her lips softly once more and then looking into her eyes said, “I’ll see you at three o’clock tomorrow.” 

Rhett looped the reins over the post and stood. He gazed at Scarlett for a moment then climbed out of the carriage. “Tomorrow,” Scarlett echoed to his back. Rhett untied his horse and walked him up to the side of the carriage. “Take the reins, Scarlett.” 

“Oh, yes,” she said and reached for them. Rhett took in her dazed expression and mounting his horse, rode away smiling.


	8. Chapter 8

Ella was fussy after supper and no matter what Scarlett did Ella refused to settle. Scarlett was frustrated and nursing Ella in the nursery rocking chair when Prissy led Wade in. 

“Mama!” Wade exclaimed when he caught sight of his mother. Scarlett smiled and drew her shawl over her exposed breast and Ella’s face.

Wade managed to kick Scarlett in the shin and headbutt the baby while he was trying to clamber on to Scarlett’s lap. “Prissy!” Scarlett snapped, “Help him. Why are you just standing there!” 

Scarlett saw Wade’s eyes go wide and his smile vanished at her words and she sighed. She’d known Rhett was right and she had to make the boy feel safe. Prissy lifted Wade onto Scarlett’s lap while Scarlett lifted Ella out of the way. Once Wade was settled Scarlett lowered her arms to rest Ella on Wade’s legs then peeked under the shawl and guided her nipple back into Ella’s mouth. 

“My,” Scarlett said drawing her free arm around Wade once Ella had started suckling again, “You are getting so big, my little man, soon I won’t be able to hold you both.” 

Wade smiled shyly. They sat in silence for a moment while Scarlett tried to remember what Melly and Rhett were always chattering about with Wade. She couldn’t remember and finally just asked, “How was your day, darling?”

“Fun! Cookie let me help in the garden and I picked three worms!” 

“Worms?” 

“Oh, yes, big ones. They wiggled and wiggled and danced!” What were they doing with her boy all day? He was digging in the garden? They weren’t starving at Tara anymore, he shouldn’t be gardening. Maybe he was getting old enough that he should have a tutor and start learning his letters. Careen had probably been around five when she started taking her lessons at Tara. Scarlett would have to discuss this with Rhett. 

“Mama?”

“Yes, darling?”

“Uncle Rhett hasn’t come to see me. Will he?” Scarlett realized Wade was right. Since Scarlett had returned to the mills Rhett had been with her in the afternoons and hadn’t called at the house. And he was going to do the same tomorrow too. Scarlett looked into her son’s soft brown eyes and felt sad for the boy. 

“I’m sure he will, perhaps on Saturday.” 

“Is Saturday tomorrow?”

“No, the day after tomorrow.”

“Not tomorrow?” 

“No, darling, I don’t think he’ll be able to come tomorrow,” Scarlett cleared her throat thinking, “because he’ll be with me,” and continued, “But I am sure he will come see you soon. Uncle Rhett loves you very much.” 

“I know. Can we go see him?” 

“Oh, no.”

“Why?”

“Because, Wade, it isn’t proper for ladies to call on gentlemen.” 

“I’m not a lady!”

“No,” Scarlett laughed, “but I am! So we can’t go calling on Uncle Rhett.”

“Oh,” Said Wade, disappointment making his little voice heavy. Wade looked down at Ella’s legs resting on his lap. 

“Wade, I’m sure he will come to see you soon. What would you like to do when Uncle Rhett comes to visit you?” 

Wade looked up and smiled, “Oh! I want him to tell me a story with the voices and maybe we can watch the trains again!” 

Scarlett smiled. “That sounds nice, darling.” She felt Ella unlatch underneath the shawl, but she didn’t cry. “Finally,” Scarlett thought, “Oh, she’s finally asleep.” But now Scarlett faced a problem. Prissy had left the nursery as soon as she’d planted Wade on Scarlett’s lap, likely to avoid any further scolding. Scarlett’s bosom was exposed under the shawl and she couldn’t let the little boy see. What should she do? There was no bell pull in the nursery, besides Scarlett needed to hand the baby to someone to cover herself. If she stood the shawl would fall and expose her. Well, Prissy should come to put Wade to bed soon, they’d just have to wait. 

Scarlett rocked the three of them slowly while they waited. Wade settled against her and put his head on her shoulder just the way she’d rested her head on Rhett this afternoon. Scarlett smiled down at her boy. In moments like this she knew she loved Wade dearly. Her chest swelled with love and she felt overwhelmed by it. Sometimes she worried she didn’t love him enough, he seemed underfoot a lot and Scarlett was not adept at talking to him the way Melly and Rhett were. She hoped these moments were enough for the boy to know she loved him. Wade said he knew Rhett loved him, how did Wade know that? 

Rhett. What should Scarlett do about Rhett? If she kept putting off his advances eventually he’d lose interest and leave. Scarlett knew in her bones she did not want that. The thought of losing Rhett’s friendship made her tremble with fear. But she didn’t want to get married again either. Right now she had her freedom. Why couldn’t she keep Rhett’s friendship and her freedom too? Scarlett felt her thoughts and feelings were tangled up inside her and she didn’t know what to do. She wished fervently Ellen were still alive. Her mother would know what to do. Scarlett took a deep breath, could she tell her mother she was in love with another woman’s husband? No, she knew Ellen would be shocked and so disappointed and Scarlett would never do that. Scarlett had to find a way to talk with Melly. Who else could she talk to to sort her feelings out? Not Rhett, he said Ashley didn’t love Scarlett and he was wrong. He was just angry and bitter about it. No, it would have to be Melly. Scarlett sighed, how could she talk to Melly about this? 

Finally, Prissy walked back in the nursery. “There you are!” Scarlett whispered fiercely. Turning to her son, she soothed his hair and said, “Wade, honey, go change for bed, I’ll be right there.” 

Wade nodded and slid off of Scarlett’s lap. Once he wasn’t looking, Scarlett handed Ella to Prissy while glowering at the girl. Then Scarlett tucked herself in and refastened her dress swiftly. Rising she walked over and helped Wade finish changing then climb into his bed. “Sweet dreams, darling,” she whispered against his forehead before kissing the boy. 

Wade smiled and snuggled under the covers. “G’night, Mama.”

§§§ 

Scarlett sighed deeply as she laid down in bed later that night. She felt exhausted from the day, which was surprising given she’d actually taken a nap on Rhett. She smiled at the memory. She’d felt so comfortable and relaxed once he’d pulled her against him. “Oh!” Scarlett gasped to the empty room. She just realized they hadn’t finished their conversation about marriage and traveling to England. Scarlett clenched her fists under the blanket. She’d fallen asleep on him in the middle of an argument! What he must think of her! She had been furious; how could she fall asleep against him minutes later? What happened? Scarlett tried to search her mind for the answer, but what she recalled was how he was so kind after she fell asleep, and how he kissed her! Oh, Scarlett’s belly tingled at the memory. 

Scarlett awoke some time later shaking and sweating. She was sitting bolt upright. She knew she’d had a nightmare, but it hadn’t been her old dream of running through the mist. She tried to slow her breathing as the images she could remember flashed through her mind. Ashley laughing. Rhett’s broad back walking away. And something about a tall mare. 

Scarlett got out of bed and pulled on her wrapper. She went to the kitchen and put the kettle on, while she waited for it to boil she went up to the nursery to check on Wade. He was sleeping soundly with one leg sticking out of his blankets. She tucked his leg back in and straightened the blankets. Then Scarlett perched on his bed and watched Wade breathe while tenderly smoothing the soft brown hair back from his forehead. Wade’s hair was still soft and thin like a baby’s. Scarlett thought of her own thick hair and wondered when his hair would thicken. Maybe it would stay thin and soft forever. Did Charles have thin soft hair? Scarlett wasn't sure, she tried to recall if she'd ever even touched Charles's hair and thought she might not have. Scarlett knew Melly's hair was curly and wiry, but Charles's hair hadn't been curly like Melly's. Wade's hair always curled around his ears and collar when he needed it cut, perhaps he got that from Charles. 

Scarlett’s mind began to wander and her hand stilled on Wade’s forehead. If Charles had lived and come home from the war Scarlett would never have married Frank. She wouldn’t have Ella. She looked over at the baby girl sleeping peacefully. Would she be happier if she didn't have Ella? Scarlett thought she might be, but Ella was so tied to her memories of desperation and Frank Scarlett wasn't sure what she really felt about her little girl. But, oh my, if Charles had lived she would have lost Tara! Charles didn’t have any money, Scarlett knew, everything he’d has was hers now and it was just land and half of this house. Scarlett felt her heart clench. If she’d been married to Charles, she wouldn’t have been free to do anything to get the money. It would be worth it to have to stay married to Frank for years and to put up with his foolishness and beard and thrusting and sweating and being forced to have a baby every year to keep Tara. Scarlett continued to gaze at Ella. Yes, Scarlett was very glad she had Ella. Scarlett kissed Wade’s forehead and then smoothed the blanket over Ella and went to make tea. 

Returning to her room with the tea, Scarlett moved her vanity bench so she could sit and gaze out the window. As she looked out on the quiet street, Scarlett sipped her tea and decided to figure out this Rhett, Ashley thing once and for all. It’s just a problem like any other, and Scarlett was excellent at working out problems. She was even better than some men at it. 

Ashley first, she thought. Ashley loves me, I know he does. He told me … Scarlett searched her memory. Had Ashley ever told Scarlett he loved her. Yes, in the library that day at the last barbeque. But he hadn’t said the I love you. He’d admitted she was right when Scarlett said he loved her. But he must have said he loved her at some other point. Scarlett thought about this for a long while before realizing that Ashley had never said I love you. But he must love her, Scarlett knew he did because … because…Scarlett could feel her fingers tremble and put the teacup down. How did Scarlett know Ashley loved her? Scarlett was thunderstruck with the thought, “What if Rhett is right? What if Ashley only wants me!” But Ashley didn’t act like he wanted her. When Scarlett had kissed him the Christmas he was on leave Ashley had acted like it was distasteful. Scarlett frowned. The only time he’d acted like he wanted her was that day in the orchard, but he’d made no move towards taking her and refused when she asked him to run away with her. He’d talked to her of honor that day, not love. Scarlett suddenly felt disappointed in Ashley. Rhett would have taken her away that day without batting an eye. In fact, he probably would have suggested it long before then. He had! Scarlett remembered that he’d asked her to run away with him during the siege and frowned. 

But it didn’t matter if Ashley loved her, Ashley was married to Melly and Scarlett would never cross Melly. Melly often frustrated Scarlett, and for years Scarlett had been jealous she had Ashley, but now Scarlett recognized that Melly and Rhett were her only friends so she would never hurt Melly. Or, at least, she would never hurt Melly again. Ashley and Scarlett wouldn’t be together, but Scarlett still loved Ashley and she could go on quietly loving Ashley. Scarlett frowned, she hadn’t seen Ashley in a week and she’d barely thought about him. She didn’t miss him at all and had been frustrated when his presence had stopped her from talking to Melly. Scarlett laughed out loud. Who would have thought she was frustrated with Ashley for blocking her undisturbed access to Melly when she’d been frustrated and jealous of Melly for blocking Scarlett’s access to Ashley for years. But, Scarlett realized halting her giggling, if she had to choose right now, she’d much rather talk to Melly than Ashley. This thought concerned her. If she loved Ashley, how could she think this way? Scarlett’s heart started to pound ferociously in her chest. Maybe she didn’t love Ashley!

“No,” Scarlett said out loud to herself. “I can’t think of this now, I’ll go crazy if I do. I’ll think about it tomorrow.” Scarlett sipped the last of her tea and slipped back into bed. Turning onto her side she thought briefly that she hadn’t solved Rhett like a math problem, but decided to count sheep until she fell asleep. 

§§§ 

The next morning Scarlett kissed Wade on the top of his head before leaving telling him, “Bye, darling, be good.”

“I will, Mama!” Wade smiled up at her with his big, soft, trusting eyes and Scarlett felt a surge of affection for this child who had felt like a nuisance for years. 

Scarlett had had a frustrating talk with Johnnie Gallegher that morning and as she drove from his mill to Ashley’s she fumed over it. When she’d done the books and compared them to the raw lumber and to the orders she’d realized Gallegher was selling lumber out from under her. He’d sold almost half the lumber in the yard in the week she’d been home. Scarlett had informed him that he’d been caught and that she would be triple checking his books from now on and if she caught him at this again she’d fire him. She’d also warned him not to try cooking the books by bringing in his own raw lumber because she knew how much the mills produced in an hour. He’d been enraged and actually cursed at her, but Gallegher didn’t want to be fired. After working the convicts the way he had, and after the one had died, he knew he’d never get another decent job in Atlanta and would have to leave. The money was too easy here, he wanted to stay. He’d just curb his side businesses for a while until Mrs. Kennedy was in less of a snit. Scarlett felt that he was up to something, but in that moment she depended on him for her income, so she’d imperiously warned him she’d be leaving town for a few weeks and not to try anything and left. 

Her argument with Gallegher had been over much more quickly than she anticipated and she sighed. She wanted to get to Ashley’s mill so that she left at three, or just a little sooner, like she’d promised Rhett, but she didn’t want to have to stall there. Hugh would be suspicious and Scarlett didn’t want to be around Hugh longer than necessary. 

As she drove her mind turned over, there was so much she wanted to talk to Rhett about, Johnnie Gallegher’s treachery, Wade, and … could she talk to him about Ashley? No, he’d get angry and ridicule her. Scarlett frowned. Could she talk to Rhett about Rhett? No, he’d surely laugh at her. She’d have to find a way to talk to Melly tomorrow without India Wilkes listening in. 

Scarlett arrived at Ashley’s mill at 11:30 and sighed, almost time for the dinner break. She hated being at the mills when the convicts took their breaks and she did not want to eat with Hugh, well, there was nothing to do about that now, she was here and she didn’t want to just drive aimlessly through the woods, what if someone saw her? She’d just leave her dinner basket in the carriage. Scarlett stopped the carriage near the hitching post and threw down the reins to Hugh who’d just walked outside to meet her. Hugh tied the reins to the post and put a water bucket down for the horse. Scarlett nodded at the bucket as she gathered the ledgers and papers and said, “Thank you, Hugh.” 

Hugh nodded and taking the ledgers from Scarlett’s arms, helped her out of the carriage. 

§§§ 

In the end she needn’t have worried about arriving too early, it was ten minutes after three by the time Hugh helped her up into her carriage. They’d spent hours going over the ledgers, the orders, how to manage the supplies, the schedule of what raw lumber to cut into what finished lumber when, and the delivery schedule Scarlett had drawn up. Scarlett had hated to do it, but she’d left room for error in both schedules. She assumed Hugh would mess something up, and she did not want it to impact a customer or violate a contract while Scarlett was away. As she left she told Hugh to wire her at Tara if he ran into trouble while she was away. 

When Scarlett finally led the horse onto Peachtree Road she groaned in frustration. She was tired and hungry and she hoped Rhett would meet her soon. 

Scarlett smiled when he rode up to her less than ten minutes later. He’d been coming to meet her instead of waiting at the crossroads. She pulled the carriage to a stop and slid over, waiting for Rhett to climb in. 

As Rhett climbed into the carriage and settled next to her Scarlett smiled up at him. She could feel the strength of him next to her and realized she didn’t know what to say. 

“Good afternoon Mrs. Kennedy.”

“Rhett …” He hadn’t smiled. Was he upset? Had she done something wrong? She was late, just a few minutes, but, was he upset with her about it? “Good afternoon, Captain Butler. I’m sorry it’s after three.” 

“No matter. How were the mills today?”

Relief flooded through Scarlett as she began an enthusiastic explanation of Hugh’s incompetence and Johnnie’s thievery. She explained how she planned to check on Johnnie and the schedules she’d made for Hugh and how it frustrated her to leave lee time in them for errors. 

“Is there someone better who can run the mills for you?”

“Well, no. When I first tried to find someone all of the men I wanted turned me down. Some already had jobs and some didn’t want to work for a woman. All the others are the kind like Hugh with no gumption.” 

Rhett nodded, he’d heard this complaint before. Why Scarlett didn’t see that Ashley was one of Hugh’s kind with no gumption was a mystery to him. Perhaps love really was blind. No, Scarlett didn’t love Ashley, she had a school girl infatuation. How could he make her see that? “Then it seems you’ve done all you can do with Hugh, make the decisions for him and help him follow directions. What you’ll really have to decide, my dear, is if you want to keep on the thief Johnnie Gallegher or replace him with a gumptionless gentleman.” 

Scarlett fiddled with the lap robe. She was warm in her long-sleeved black crepe mourning and wanted to remove it but the dust would ruin her dress. She sighed, “Yes. I know. I just don’t like either.” 

“Yes, well you have to choose, do you want a money-making thief or to make less money with someone you can trust.”

Scarlett nodded. “I guess I’ll have to see how much money I’ve lost to Johnnie’s thievery. Maybe he isn’t worth it, or maybe he is. I wish I hadn’t given him back the ledgers today.” 

“What difference would that few dollars make?”

“Rhett! Are you joking? How could you say such a thing! It makes all the difference in the world. How can I know that I can always feed my children and Aunt Pitty and everyone at Tara and my Aunts in Charleston if I don’t have money the Yankee’s can’t take from me? Do you know what it was like to hear Wade cry he was hungry and watch Mammy douse him with any herbs she could for worms because there was no medicine? He’s smaller than he should be and I know it’s because I couldn’t feed him! I … I …” 

“I know the mills make you feel safe, Scarlett, but I’m not sure there’s an amount of money you could save up that would ease that feeling of needing to have more. You’ve said before that you will pick up the honor and kindness you’ve jettisoned and step on the Yankees necks when you have enough money, but when will it be enough?”

“I … I don’t know exactly, but when I have enough, I’ll know it.” 

“I don’t think you will. The money won’t actually make you feel secure. If you had my millions, would you keep scraping away and pinching every penny at the mills?” 

“Yes,” Scarlett answered instantly. 

“Really? Well, that proves my point. It’s more than enough money so that the Yankees could never get it all, they’ve tried. But you would still feel a need for more.” 

Scarlett was confused. “But, … I… I love the mills.” 

“I know, but my question wasn’t would you keep working at them because you love them, it was would you keep working at them to make money. And you seemed pretty certain you would.” 

Rhett eyed Scarlett as her thoughts passed over her face. She was opening her mouth to respond when her stomach rumbled loudly. “Oh!” She flushed, “I’m sorry. I didn’t eat dinner.” 

“Why not?” 

“I didn’t want to take a dinner break with Hugh and I didn’t want to stay there longer.” 

Rhett pulled the carriage to a stop. “Eat, Scarlett.” 

“Oh, um...” 

“I know Mammy trained you never to eat in front of gentlemen, but you are a widow now, you are entitled, besides you already know I’m not a gentleman.” 

Scarlett laughed. Pulling out the dinner basket she took out chicken, rolls, yams, an apple, and a bottle of tea. “What would you like?” 

“I ate dinner, Scarlett.” 

“Yes, well, I don’t want to eat alone, please have something.”

Rhett took the apple and bit into it. He chewed slowly as he watched Scarlett begin to eat the chicken. 

“Mammy packs you a good dinner.” 

“How do you know Cookie didn’t pack it?” Scarlett smirked. 

Rhett burst out laughing. He was pleased she was flirting with him after he’d poked at her about her mills. “Because I know Mammy. She’d make sure she packed it and that you were well fed.” 

Scarlett smiled, “Yes, and she grumbles for hours at me if I come home with it full.” 

When the apple was almost gone, Rhett got out of the carriage and fed the remainder to the horse. Scarlett smiled as she watched. 

Rhett climbed back in and settled next to her. “Would you like anything else?” 

“No, thank you.”

Scarlett nodded and took a deep breath. “Rhett, will you come and see Wade? He misses you. Perhaps tomorrow? Wade would like it so if you could.” 

“I’d love to come see the boy, Scarlett. How is he? Are his nightmares better?”

“I think so. He didn’t come into the bed with me last night. And when I checked on him he was sound asleep.” 

“That’s good. As he knows he’s safe and loved I think they’ll go away. I thought you were helping Miss Melly tomorrow, won’t Wade be with Beau?” 

“I am helping her set up for the musical tomorrow, Prissy is going to watch Beau over at our house in the morning while Melly and India and I go to the theater. You could visit both the boys. Or if you don’t want to, you could visit just with Wade or take him somewhere. Or, whatever you want, Rhett.” 

“When will you return from the theater?” 

“Well, if we are fast enough I hope to be home for dinner and then spend the afternoon at home. But if we are not, I’m sure we will finish in the early afternoon.” 

Rhett nodded. He’d like to see Wade, but he also wanted a supper invitation. Scarlett was in mourning and it was very soon after Frank’s death, but the whole town would be at Melly’s musical. Even Aunt Pitty would be out of the house. He thought he could wrangle one from her if he was still there at supper time. 

“Why don’t I pick up the Wade and take him to the National with me for dinner, then we can gather Beau and maybe Ella and go to the park in the afternoon. The boys like the park don’t they?” 

“They love the park, that’s very kind, Rhett, but don’t you think Wade is too young to have dinner in a restaurant?” 

“No, he’s a good boy, Scarlett, and it’s not too soon for him to learn to be a gentleman. Besides, we can talk man to man at dinner and then play like little boys at the park.” 

Scarlett laughed. Rhett was so good to her son and Wade would love to have dinner in the restaurant with Rhett. Scarlett would love to have dinner in the National Hotel restaurant, too. For a moment she wished she could go with them instead of going to decorate the theater for an event she wasn’t allowed to attend. Scarlett hated mourning. But Wade would love to spend time with his Uncle Rhett and that was more important. She’d promised Wade. 

“That would be lovely, Rhett, thank you. Ella’s too young to enjoy the park, but Dilcey can go with you and the boys if you’d like.” 

“We’d welcome Dilcey’s company, but if she has work to do to prepare we gentlemen will get on without her.” 

“I’ll let Melly know.” 

Scarlett packed the food and dishes back into the basket. Rhett reached down and lifted the lab robe she’d let fall. She smiled her thanks and spread it over her lap. Rhett didn’t start the carriage and Scarlett turned to look at him expectantly. 

“Scarlett. I have one more serious thing to discuss with you.” 

“What is it?” Scarlett could feel her heart start to flutter. This had been going so well, sure, he’d been mean about her mills and making money, but then he’d been nice and he promised to see Wade tomorrow. 

“You know I have business for which I have to go to London.”

“I know.” Rhett could see her jaw clench. He reached across and took one of her hands from her where they were clutching the lab robe. Lacing their fingers together he was relieved when she didn’t pull her hand away.

“And you won’t come with me?”

“No.” 

Rhett nodded and squeezed her fingers, he’d expected as much. 

“I will be gone for a few months at least. Promise me you won’t become engaged or married to anyone else while I am gone.”

“I’ll never marry again. I told you.” 

“So then why can’t you promise me that?” 

“Because, Rhett, I …” Scarlett squinted up at Rhett. She could see a hot little light leaping in his eyes. Was he angry? No, he didn’t seem angry. But this mattered to him. She nodded, resolved. She wasn’t going to marry anyone, so what would it hurt to give Rhett what he wanted? “I promise.” 

“Good girl,” Rhett smiled at her and Scarlett scowled at him. Ignoring her scowl he continued, “I’ve arranged a driver for you for while I’m away.” 

“Archie? He won’t ride with me again because of the convicts. He’s hateful.” 

“Not Archie. I’m bringing down one of the hands from my father’s plantation. His name is Elijah and he’s good and strong. He’ll keep you safe in the woods and drive you wherever you need. He’ll arrive in Atlanta Thursday next, so he’ll be ready to drive when you return from Tara.” 

Scarlett nodded. She knew this was a good solution but she worried how much he would cost. “Thank you, Rhett, that’s very kind. How much, um, how much should I expect to pay him?” 

Rhett laughed, “No, you misunderstand. Elijah is family, not free issue, he and I were raised together. Just like any other family darkie he will not accept money, but you’ll be responsible for him. Is there room for him in the carriage house with Mammy and Prissy and Cookie?” 

“Yes. Uncle Peter probably won’t like it. He likes to think he makes all the decisions. And Mammy too, she won’t like it either.” 

“No, I imagine he won’t. Perhaps I’ll speak with Uncle Peter about it. And I will speak with Mammy.” 

Scarlett laughed, “I’d like to see that! How you convince Mammy a stranger should live with us!?” Scarlett continued to giggle to herself as she pictured Rhett begging Mammy to allow this strange darkie to live in the house like family. 

“Yes, I imagine you would.” Rhett smiled at her. 

Then another thought occurred to Scarlett, “Rhett, Elijah is your family, do you expect … would you … should I pay you something? How do you…” 

“No. I do not expect anything from you in return.” 

Scarlett nodded her understanding and leaving her hand in his, turned to stare out the side of the carriage. This was odd. Was Rhett up to something? Yes. But what? He didn’t expect any payment? At all? When he’d brought her the bonnet during the war he told her he always got paid. And she had told him she wouldn’t marry him for the bonnet and he said he wasn’t a marrying man. Scarlett frowned. Did he expect her to marry him for Elijah? No, he surely would have said so and he said he didn’t expect anything in return. This might be the nicest of all gifts Rhett had ever given her, her independence. Then Scarlett thought of Melly and how Melly had been the first to give Scarlett this protected independence by sending her Archie when Uncle Peter had refused to drive her and Frank had finally put his foot down and locked away her carriage. She smiled at the memory and was disappointed in herself for not seeing how good Melly was and how much she loved Scarlett then. Scarlett wasn’t sure she’d even thanked Melly for doing it. Scarlett smiled, “I have to make sure to tell her.” 

“I’m sorry?” 

“Oh!” Scarlett hadn’t realized she’d been thinking out loud. What had she said? “What? What did I say?” 

“Scarlett. What are you playing at? Who do you have to tell what?”

“Oh, Melly. I was just thinking how you are so kind to give me my independence with Elijah and how Melly did it first with Archie. I would have gone insane had Frank been able to keep me locked in the house with the baby.” Scarlett sighed, “I wish Melly would come to Tara with me.” 

“Oh, and what about Mr. Wilkes. Do you wish he would come to Tara too?” 

There was an edge in Rhett’s voice that raised Scarlett’s heckles. “No, as a matter of fact, I do not.” 

“Oh, and why is that, is the estimable Mr. Wilkes finally falling out of your favor?” 

Scarlett hmphed and withdrew her hand from Rhett’s. Rhett let her. She turned to face Rhett. 

“Why must we always talk of Ashley?”

“Because I have to be sure of something?”

“What? Rhett, why must you always talk in circles?”

“I’m not talking in circles, I’m very plainly asking if you are finally realizing what you feel for AshleyWilkes isn’t love.”

“Rhett!” Scarlett screeched, but then she paused. Why just last night she’d been thinking she might not be in love with Ashley. How could Rhett possibly know that? Scarlett cleared her throat and squared her shoulders. She couldn’t talk to Melly about Ashley, but if Rhett was going to keep bringing it up, well, then, Rhett would just have to listen about Ashley. “I do love Ashley, Rhett, it’s just I’m angry with him and disappointed, that’s why … why …” Scarlett didn’t know how to explain that that’s why she was doubting her love for Ashley without saying those words. Rhett would mock her terribly if said that.

Rhett waited Scarlett out clenching his jaw. He wanted to scream at her that she was an idiot and didn’t love Ashely, that she loved him. He stared at the horse’s back and did not turn to look at Scarlett. He couldn’t look at her right now. Disappointment coiled in his belly. Rhett’s teeth were aching from how tightly he clenched his jaw, but he wouldn’t speak. He didn’t trust himself not to yell at her or mock her and he knew he had to hear what she said about this. Then he would use her words to make her see reason. 

Scarlett, who was staring at her hands in her lap did not see Rhett’s jaw working. She could feel the tension coming off of him, but playing with the tips of her glove fingers nervously, she took a deep breath and continued. Maybe Rhett would help her instead of mocking her. “Honestly Rhett, I never thought he’d be so fool-headed as to be in the klan. He’s put my mill at risk! If the Yankees take it, how will I feed my children and send money to Tara and my aunts? He risked it, and its mine. I built it from nothing and …what could he be thinking? He had no right … If I lose the mill how will any of us survive? And …” 

Scarlett paused. Could she tell Rhett outright she doubted her love for Ashely? No. Could she tell him she doubted Ashely’s love for her? No. Rhett would mock her for loving someone who doesn’t love her. Could she explain how she felt betrayed? 

“Rhett, it hurts. If I lose everything I won’t be able to support him and Melly and Beau. What if he takes them and leaves? Wade loves Beau, and they are cousins and belong together. They will inherit the house and Beau should be near his only inheritance. And Melly… I … I don’t want to have to be away from Melly. I …” Scarlett stopped talking. Her chest was clenching and she could feel tears pricking her eyelids. She would not cry in front of Rhett again. And definitely not about Ashley. But if it was the thought of Melly moving away not the thought of Ashley moving away that brought her to the edge of tears … maybe, maybe she didn’t love Ashley. But she did, she did love him, and she wanted to keep him safe and protected. 

“Rhett, I want to keep Ashley and Melly and Beau safe. And near me. But I wish Ashley wasn’t always making it so difficult.” She looked up at Rhett and saw his hard jawline and tight shoulders. She felt a remorse she didn’t understand and putting her hand through his arm, she pulled his arm into her side. “I’m sorry, Rhett. I didn’t want to make you angry, I just … I want… I’m sorry.” Scarlett touched her forehead to Rhett’s shoulder and took a deep breath, then sat back up leaving her hand on Rhett’s bicep. 

Rhett placed his hand over Scarlett’s for a moment and then gathered the reins. Scarlett smiled. It was all right. And Rhett hadn’t even mocked her. 

Rhett clucked to the horse and they started off towards shantytown and Atlanta in a silence that Scarlett wasn’t sure was comfortable. 

§§§ 

After a long while Rhett said, “Scarlett, you know that there’s a difference between loving an old friend and being in love with them?” 

“Of course!” Scarlett answered indignantly. Scarlett wanted to ask what he meant by that but she was angry. She didn’t want to talk about Ashley with Rhett anymore. She didn’t want to talk to anyone anymore. She longed for the silence and solitude of her room. 

Scarlett’s eyes fell to her hand on Rhett’s arm. She thought about withdrawing it. What she really wanted was for Rhett to put his arm around her and draw her into his side like he had yesterday so she could rest her head on his chest and be comforted. Scarlett felt nervous and she didn’t know what was making her nervous. In that moment all she knew was that she did not want to talk anymore and she wanted the comfort of Rhett’s body. She didn’t consider why she found his body or his smell comforting, but she knew they did comfort her and she wanted comforting. 

Rhett glanced down when he heard her sigh. If she was dreaming of that wooden-headed … but he saw her eyes fixed on his arm and knew for once that Scarlett was thinking of him. He smiled. Well, he’d let her feel that longing for a while.


	9. Chapter 9

Mammy and Wade greeted Scarlett at the door when she arrived at home later that night. Scarlett was feeling unsettled by her conversation with Rhett and she was glad they were together. It would be easier to get Mammy to agree to dinner at the National in front of Wade. 

“Mama!” Wade shouted launching himself into her skirts and feeling for her leg to squeeze as she came in. Scarlett handed the dinner basket to Mammy as she bent down to kiss his head. “Hello, Darling! Were you good for Mammy and Prissy today?”

“Very, very good!” 

“Good boy,” she smiled not meeting Mammy’s eyes. “Because you were so good, I have a surprise for you, Uncle Rhett is going to take you to have dinner with him at the restaurant at the National Hotel tomorrow.”

“Really!!” Wade exclaimed as his little body wriggled with happiness. 

“Miss Scarlett!” Mammy chastised, “He too little.” 

“No, Mammy,” Scarlett said soothingly, “It has been a hard week and he has been very good and he deserves a special reward.” 

Mammy’s face darkened. She knew Scarlett was right that Wade deserved something special, but she did not think time with Captain Butler in a hotel was a suitable reward. 

“It ain’t fittin,” Mammy grumbled as she turned and headed to the kitchen. 

Scarlett smiled triumphantly. “Are you looking forward to having fun with Uncle Rhett tomorrow, baby?” 

“Yes, Mama!” 

“Good, and you will be good at the restaurant, won’t you? And you’ll do everything Uncle Rhett asks?”

“Oh, yes!” 

“Good, it’s almost time for your supper, let’s find Prissy to clean you up.” 

§§§ 

As their Saturday morning decorating dragged on into the afternoon, Scarlett grew increasingly frustrated, she wanted to talk to Melly about Rhett and their conversations and her tangled feelings, but India was hanging around them like a shadow. Melly could sense Scarlett’s growing frustration and tried to keep peace between her sisters-in-law. 

Melly had heard from India that Hugh had seen Captain Butler driving with Scarlett in the woods the other day. Melly thought it was sweet how Captain Butler was so protective of Scarlett, but she also worried about Scarlett’s reputation. Melly knew what India said was true when she and India and Beau had arrived at Aunt Pitty’s at a quarter to nine that morning. Scarlett smiled brightly while she told Melly that Captain Butler was going to take the boys to the park in the afternoon and asked Melly if she’d like for Dilcey to go along. India snorted derisively while Melly replied, “Oh how nice, I’m sure the boys will have a lovely time at the park. Did Captain Butler request that Dilcey come, I’m sure Cookie can manage the baking alone if he did.” Cookie had been over at the Wilkes’s with Dilcey baking cakes to sell slices of at the musical since early this morning. 

“Oh, no, but he said she was welcome.” 

“Then I’m sure the boys will be all right with Captain Butler. Dilcey and Cookie can finish all the baking as they planned.” 

“Melanie! Are you sure it’s wise to leave the boys alone with …” India trailed off at the looks from Scarlett and Melly. 

“Yes, I’m sure.” Melly said sternly. After saying their goodbyes to the children and Aunt Pitty, the three ladies climbed into Scarlett’s carriage to ride to the theater in stony silence.

Scarlett glanced at the clock by the entrance way, it was now 12:30 and the ladies were hanging the last of the bunting. All that would be left was to arrange the flowers and they’d be finished. 

When they’d finally hung the last piece, India said, “excuse me,” and stepped out. Thinking India had gone to the necessary and would be a few minutes, Melly turned to Scarlett and said, “It’s so nice of Captain Butler to take the boys to the park. They do love the park.” 

“Yes,” Scarlett agreed, “it is.” 

Melly took a deep breath and bravely asked, “How is Captain Butler, Scarlett?” 

Scarlett couldn’t see the dreamy smile that came over her face as she said, “Oh, Melly, he…” and then her face fell, “I ... I don’t know.” 

“Of course you know,” India’s voice rang coldly from the doorway where she appeared with a bundle of tied flowers in her arms, “You’ve been seen riding all over the woods with him.” 

Scarlett said nothing as she could feel the rage welling up within her. She wanted to claw India’s face until blood ran down it. 

“Don’t you think of anyone but yourself, ever?” India continued as she stormed down the aisle to where Melly and Scarlett stood, “No, you don’t think of your reputation or of Frank’s or of Charles’s. You just act like a common hussy and don’t care whose reputation you smear!” 

“INDIA!” Melly bellowed in the loudest voice Scarlett had ever heard her use. “You have forgotten yourself. Apologize this instant!” 

“No! Melly! She’s barely a week into mourning her second husband and she’s out trying to catch a third! It’s disgraceful!” 

Scarlett’s heart was pounding and she felt like she might be sick. She opened her mouth to defend herself when Melly shouted, “India Wilkes! I cannot believe you. How could you be so cruel? Apologize to my sister this instant or you will never, never set foot in my house again.” 

“But, Melly!” India exclaimed, “She…she…” 

Melly stood erect and stern. “India, I have made myself clear, there is no excuse for your behavior and you will apologize or leave. Ashley will send your things to you in Macon.” 

India turned and stormed out without saying a word. 

Scarlett stood frozen with her mouth gaping. 

“I’m sorry dear, she just doesn’t know what it is to love a man as deeply as you love Captain Butler,” Melly put her arm around Scarlett, “Stuart was killed before she ever really knew the kind of love that exists when two people truly love each other and know each other, the way a man and wife do.” 

“Melly!” Said Scarlett startled. 

“Oh,” Melly said, “I didn’t mean … that.” And the two dissolved into giggles.

India silently raged outside the doorway where she’d stopped to listen. She’d been hoping to hear Melly chastise Scarlett for her indiscretions so she could tell all of Atlanta Melly disapproved of the sister she claimed to love so much. But instead the two were giggling like fools. 

A few minutes later when they'd stopped giggling, Melly and Scarlett went into the hall to gather the rest of the flowers. India was gone. As they started creating arrangements in the large vases they would place on the corners of the stage and the heads of the aisles Scarlett gathered her courage and said, “Melly. Thank you.” 

“For what, dear?” 

“For what you said to India.” 

Melly put her hand on Scarlett’s arm, “India was wrong. Scarlett, after all you have done for me and for Beau and Ashley, and your sisters and your Pa, no one knows your good heart as well as I do. I know how you love Captain Butler and I know you didn’t think you’d ever love him again after he left us. But, he won back your heart when he kept meeting you to protect you in the woods. I’m not even sure you realized it at the time, because you also loved Frank, and, I think, perhaps, you were still angry with Captain Butler. But now… now, Scarlett, you deserve to have happiness. Captain Butler makes you happy, and I’m so glad he’s courting you again. He loves you so much, dear. And, darling, I know you loved Charlie, and Frank, but, I…I know you love Captain Butler most of all. And that’s good, really darling. I know Charlie would want you to be happy and for Wade to have a father he loves and who loves him and I’m sure Frank would want the same for Ella.” 

Scarlett’s mind was racing. Was Melly right? Did she love Rhett? Did Rhett love her? How could Melly know these things? What about Ashely? Did Scarlett still love Ashley? Does Ashley love her? Had he ever? Scarlett backed away and sat down hard in one of the front row chairs. 

“Oh, my dear,” Melly said rushing over and sitting next to Scarlett, “I’m sorry, I’ve been so bold talking about such things. It’s just, Scarlett, you are my dearest sister and I know we can tell each other anything. You aren’t upset with me are you?”

“What? Melly, oh, no I’m not upset with you. I’m so thankful, actually. It’s just… It’s just … I don’t know.” Scarlett wrinkled her eyebrows together and shrugged.

Melly’s smile lit up her whole face as she drew Scarlett into her small arms. “It’s Captain Butler, isn’t it? So, how is he?” 

Scarlett smiled against Melly’s shoulder. It felt so good to have a friend, a real friend. “He’s good, Melly. He’s bringing down one of his family darkies to drive for me while he travels.” 

“Oh, that’s so sweet, I don’t know how India can’t see how much he loves you and how honorable his intentions are.” 

Oh! Thought Scarlett. That’s how Melly knows he loves me? She’d have to think about this later. Now she had more to talk about with Melly. 

“Melly, I never really thanked you for sending Archie to me. It meant so much.” 

“Don’t be silly, I’m so glad it helped.” 

“I’m not sure you know how much. I needed …” 

Melly interrupted, “I think I might, Scarlett. And that’s what sisters are for.” As Melly smiled softly, Scarlett thought Melly might actually know how Scarlett had needed to be free to be out of the house and to work. 

“Melly? I know, I know it isn’t proper … but, Rhett kissed me.” 

Melly squeezed Scarlett to her, “And?” 

“Melly!” Scarlett sat up shocked. 

“Did you like it?” Melly whispered slyly. 

Scarlett blushed to the roots of her hair as she remembered the way Rhett’s kisses felt. Scarlett nodded and smiled shyly. Then they both dissolved into giggles. 

§§§

When they arrived back at Aunt Pitty’s after finishing the flowers Scarlett asked Melly if she’d like to come in for tea. Scarlett still had several things about Rhett she wanted to discuss with Melly. But Melly declined squeezing Scarlett and explaining she had to get home to tell Ashley India had to move to Macon with Honey. 

“Melly, I’m sorry, will he be upset?” 

“No. I think he will understand.”

“But, will you, will you tell him what India said?”

“Scarlett, don’t be worried. Ashley loves you too and he wants you to be happy. He understands how India can be jealous.” 

“But …” 

“Don’t worry at all, dear.” 

They walked inside to find that Beau and Wade were still at the park with Rhett. 

“I’ll bring him home later, Melly, or he can spend the night here with Wade while you are at the musical.” 

“That’s very kind, Scarlett. Perhaps he could stay here tonight and I’ll come and get him tomorrow after Ashley packs India’s things.” 

“Of course.” 

They hugged and Melly walked home through the hedge leaving Scarlett alone with her bubbling thoughts. 

§§§ 

Scarlett sat on the sofa in the parlor with Aunt Pitty, her mending basket at her feet. It was four o’clock and Rhett had not brought the boys home yet. Pitty hadn’t given Scarlett a moment’s peace since Scarlett had returned. First she needed to know everything about the decorations. Then Scarlett had to artfully tell Pitty about India. Scarlett knew that Pitty would be furious if she heard it from someone else and Scarlett hadn’t told her. 

Now it was where are her grand-nephews. Scarlett wasn’t worried, she knew Rhett would protect her boy with his life, but Pitty kept blathering on about how she wasn’t sure a single man could care for children without a woman and did Captain Butler say what time he’d be back. Scarlett didn’t answer. The glove whose hole needed mending sat untouched on her lap. Scarlett wanted to point out Uncle Peter practically raised Melly and Charles without Aunt Pitty’s help, but knew that would only make the blathering worse. And she didn’t want to upset Aunt Pitty. 

“Auntie, hadn’t you better go change? Aren’t you going to Melly’s to go to the musical?” 

“Oh, yes, yes. Are you sure you don’t want me to stay home with you and the children?” 

“You are too sweet, Auntie, I’d like some quiet time with the children. It’s been a hard few weeks, you know.” Scarlett seethed. She needed Aunt Pitty to go upstairs so she could think before Rhett brought the boys back. She also needed Pitty to leave so she could talk to Rhett. 

“If you are sure then,” Pitty tried again. Scarlett merely smiled and said, “Go, have fun Auntie.” 

Scarlett couldn’t hold back her sigh when Pitty finally went upstairs. Scarlett went into the kitchen and told Cookie that she and Captain Butler would be eating supper with the children tonight. 

§§§ 

At 4:40 Scarlett rushed Aunt Pitty out the door and across the lawn. Pitty was complaining that Rhett hadn’t brought the boys back yet and she didn’t want to leave Scarlett alone. 

“Auntie, don’t be silly dearie, Rhett knows Wade eats at 5, he’ll bring Wade home in time for supper. Melly wants to leave for the theater by a quarter to 5 for all of the last-minute things and rehearsals. You don’t want to make her late do you?” 

When Scarlett walked back into the house after finally getting rid of her aunt she could hear the chatter of little voices and Rhett’s rich voice answering. She smiled to herself. That man could have perfect timing when he wanted to. 

She found them in the hall with Mammy flustering about them. Rhett was holding Beau and trying to let go of Wade’s hand to remove his hat. When Wade saw Scarlett he exclaimed, “Mama!” and ran to her. Beau echoed, “Auntie!” and reached for Scarlett. Scarlett stepped up to Rhett and took Beau from his arms. Mammy took Rhett’s hat and cloak and was hanging them as Scarlett said, “Boys, go and wash up for supper with Mammy. Captain Butler, I’m going to have supper with the children tonight, would you like to join us?”

Mammy glared at Scarlett as Scarlett handed over Beau. Scarlett ignored Mammy and bent to hug Wade and kiss his head. 

“I would love to join you,” Rhett smirked at Scarlett. 

Once Mammy had ushered the boys out, Scarlett said, “Let’s wait in the library until supper is served.” 

Scarlett seated herself on the sofa and Rhett joined her. “Do you need to tell Cookie to set a place for me?” 

“No.”

“No, were you planning on asking me to stay?”

Scarlett’s eyes narrowed. “Isn’t that why you brought the children back just a few minutes before their supper, Captain Butler?” she retorted. 

“Maybe it is,” Rhett smiled. Rhett wanted to pull her into his arms and kiss her senseless, but there would be time for that later, Wade or any of the servants might walk in at any moment and she would be furious if they were caught. 

“How was dinner with Wade?” 

“I’ll let him tell you about it at supper, he is a wonderful boy, Scarlett, you should be very proud.” 

“Thank you,” Scarlett smiled. “He is very sweet.” 

They sat in silence for a few moments. Scarlett thought of how Melly said Charles would want Wade to have a father he loved and who loved him and felt slightly guilty she hadn’t cared if Frank and Wade got along. She wasn’t sure she had expected them too, although really, she hadn’t given it a single thought. Wade had never climbed onto Frank’s knee the way he always climbed onto Rhett’s. 

Rhett watched her smile fade and her eyebrows draw together. He wondered what she was thinking and was just about to reach over and take her hand when he heard Mammy approaching. Rhett slid away from Scarlett causing her to turn her head and frown at him. Rhett tilted his head at the hallway and Scarlett smiled, “Mammy’s going to be mad you sat on the sofa with me anyway,” she whispered with a mischievous glint in her eyes. Rhett laughed. 

Mammy heard the laughter and frowned, what could Miss Scarlett be thinking, she was in mourning. Mammy rounded the doorway quickly wanting to catch them at whatever they were doing and found them sitting on opposite ends of the sofa. Mammy frowned, this was not fitting. “Supper’s ready,” she announced glumly. 

“Thank you, Mammy,” Scarlett twittered gaily. Rhett rose and offered his hand down to Scarlett. When Scarlett stood, Rhett tucked her hand into the crook of his elbow and Scarlett smiled up at him. Mammy gasped, her lamb was in love with Captain Butler! It was plain as day across Miss Scarlett’s face. 

Mammy’s gasp drew Scarlett & Rhett’s attention. “Is there something wrong, Mammy?” Rhett asked. While Scarlett blinked confusedly. 

“No, sir, come to the table,” Mammy answered and turned to walk away. Rhett followed, leading Scarlett into the dining room. Scarlett tilted her head. Rhett had clearly talked to Mammy about Elijah. She’d have to ask Rhett about it after supper. 

Neither leaf was in the table so the table only seated six. Rhett noticed the head and foot had no plates as he seated Scarlett next to Beau before walking around the table and seating himself across from her next to Wade. The boys were chattering animatedly about two squirrels chasing each other they’d watched at the park and Scarlett watched them talk while Cookie served ham and biscuits and beans onto everyone’s plate. Scarlett leaned over and cut Beau’s ham into small pieces and Rhett watched Scarlett. Her face looked softer and happier than he’d seen it look since before the siege, but there was a tension in her shoulders. Rhett wondered what was going on in her mind when Cookie finally left the room and Scarlett asked Wade, “How was your dinner with Uncle Rhett, darling?” 

“Oh! Fun Mama! Uncle Rhett let me pick anything and I picked drumsticks and dumplings and peas but it had yams and I didn’t eat them and Uncle Rhett didn’t even get mad when I told him I won’t eat yams!” 

“I see,” Scarlett looked at Rhett to see if he was upset her child wasted food. Rhett was smiling down at Wade. “Did you tell Uncle Rhett why you don’t like to eat yams anymore?” 

“Oh, yes!” 

Scarlett smiled and wondered exactly what Wade had told Rhett about that terrible time at Tara, “I’m glad you had such a nice time.” She’d have to ask Wade about it later. 

“We had man talk too!” Wade exclaimed proudly. 

“Man talk?” 

“We talked man to man,” Rhett supplied. 

“And what did you discuss during your man to man talk?” 

“Lots, Mama, we talked about Tara and helping and when I grow up and daddies.” 

“Daddies?” Scarlett repeated, “What do you mean daddies, Wade?” 

“Well,” Wade started looking up at his Uncle Rhett. “I asked Uncle Rhett if he was going to be my daddy since my father is in heaven and so is Ella’s.” Scarlett turned bright pink cheeks and wide eyes onto Rhett. 

She put down her fork so it wouldn’t clatter into her plate and reveal her pounding heart and asked, “and what did your Uncle Rhett tell you?”

“He would like to be my daddy, but even he if wasn’t he would always be my Uncle Rhett.” Wade smiled at Rhett, who reached over and ruffled the boy’s hair. “That’s right, son. I will. Now eat your ham.” 

Scarlett felt the heat in her face and her pounding heart. She couldn’t look at Rhett, she turned to Beau and asked, “And how was the park, Beau?” 

Rhett watched Scarlett change the subject. He’d been hoping to tell her about his conversation with Wade himself after supper. He knew she would not like it at all, but the boy had asked and Rhett had been honest.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: The parts in italics are Rhett's memory.

After dinner Rhett, Wade, Beau, Scarlett and Ella sat out on the porch. Scarlett sat on the swing with the boys and Rhett sat in a rocking chair slowly rocking Ella. Ella started fussing and Rhett held her standing on his legs as she bounced herself. Scarlett smiled at them. The boys were talking to each other and Rhett was focused on her daughter and Scarlett could just be. She didn’t feel any pressure to say or do anything in that moment and it calmed her. She watched Rhett lift Ella and kiss her belly and the baby squealed with laughter. Scarlett smiled and felt the joy in her chest. Rhett laid Ella against his chest and looked at Scarlett. She knew he’d caught her watching him, but she didn’t look away. She just smiled back at him until Beau leaned against Scarlett’s side and yawned. 

Scarlett smoothed his hair, it was time for the children to go to bed. “Rhett, do you mind if I go put the children to bed? It won’t take too long.” 

Rhett heard her unspoken request that he stay. “Would you like help?” 

“Oh, thank you, no. I have Ella…” 

“I understand, I’ll wait.” 

She smiled at him. “Boys, give Uncle Rhett a kiss and let’s go get ready for bed.” 

Rhett stood and handed Ella to Scarlett, then he crouched down and hugged both boys to him. “Night, Uncle Rhett,” Wade said as he hugged Rhett tightly, “Goodnight, Son,” Rhett whispered as he kissed Wade’s cheek. “Night, Uncle Rhett,” Beau echoed. “Goodnight little, Beau,” Rhett said and he kissed the top of the boy’s head. Scarlett smiled down at the three, then took the children inside. 

Once they were inside Rhett moved to the swing and pulled out a cigar. He hoped when Scarlett returned she’d sit with him. 

Scarlett nursed Ella in her room while Prissy changed the boys in the nursery. Thankfully her fussy baby feel asleep easily tonight. She put the baby in her crib, kissed the sleeping boys on their foreheads and closed the nursery door. 

She paused before she went back out onto the porch to mentally list all the things she needed to discuss with Rhett: Elijah and Rhett’s talk with Mammy, Wade and whatever this daddy business was, India, and something else? Tutoring for Wade? Scarlett wasn’t sure but she knew there had been something else. Scarlett felt exhausted from the day. She wanted to curl up in the darkness and think about her conversation with Melly, but she didn’t want Rhett to leave. She wished he didn’t have to go to England. 

Scarlett took a deep breath before opening the door and stepping outside. 

She saw that Rhett had seated himself on the swing and was smoking a cigar. She walked over and paused. She wanted to sit on the swing with Rhett but knew she should sit on one of the rockers. 

“Come here, Scarlett,” Rhett said, “I didn’t bring anything up with Wade, he asked me a question and I answered it honestly.” 

Scarlett nodded, then went and sat next to Rhett on the swing. She wanted to be close to him. She’d think about why later. Rhett smiled as she arranged her skirts. Once she settled Rhett took her hand in his. 

“What did he ask you?” 

“Just what he told you, they’d given him a plate that had yams on it and he told me he hated yams and wouldn’t eat them. I scraped the yams onto my plate and asked him why he hated them. He said at Tara you ate nothing but yams for months and when he looks at them he feels sick in his stomach. I told him I thought that was a shame because yams are so delicious. I asked him if you ate yams now and he said you did and that Frank would make Wade eat them too if they were on Wade’s plate when you all had supper together because wasting food was a sin. Wade told me how you’d always eat the yams off of his plate when Frank wasn’t looking. Then he said that I was eating his yams for him just like you did and asked if I would be his daddy. Your boy is a sweet, good-hearted boy, Scarlett, he said he knew I would be a good daddy because I did exactly what you did, I just took his yams and ate them without getting angry he didn’t want them.” Rhett smiled down at her, “He also said I’m very nice and a lot of fun.” 

Scarlett felt her eyes water and ducked her head so Rhett couldn’t see her blink the tears away. 

“And you told him you want to be his daddy?” 

“I did, and I do, Scarlett.” 

“But you’ll love him even if I never marry you?” 

“Yes.” 

Scarlett did not know what to say to that. She closed her eyes and smelled Rhett’s cigar and felt the warmth of his fingers in hers. She felt the swelling in her chest and wondered if Melly was right that she loved Rhett. Scarlett felt like running in the house and slamming the door and she felt like throwing herself into Rhett’s arms. She didn’t understand either feeling. She’d have to think about this at Tara. She hadn’t had time this afternoon to think over what Melly had said with all of Aunt Pitty’s blathering. Scarlett closed her eyes and rested her forehead on Rhett’s shoulder. She took deep calming breaths and felt his scent and his warmth soothe her.

As the silence stretched between them Rhett felt her hand relax in his. Then he could feel a sudden tension in her fingers. 

Scarlett picked up her head, “Rhett?”

“Hmm?”

“I don’t understand. Why do you want to marry me? You don’t… you aren’t in love with me, and you… you can get women…who don’t …who aren’t your wife,” Scarlett stumbled, “so, so why? You’ve said you aren’t a marrying man, more than once…”

Rhett sighed deeply. Why was she so obtuse! How could this woman seriously not know he was madly in love with her? “Scarlett, I do care about you. You are right I can get women if that’s what I want.” Scarlett turned crimson and looked away from him. He let her continue to look away but did not release her hand as he continued, “But that isn’t what I want. Don’t you like to spend time with me?”

“Oh, well. When you aren’t being a varmint.” 

Rhett chuckled and tugged her hand to try to get her to look at him, “I think you like to spend time with me even when I am being a varmint. You can be yourself with me. All of yourself with me. And I want that for you.” 

Scarlett nodded but did not turn back to look at him. Rhett pursed his lips and thought it may as well be time to discuss something else with Scarlett.

“Scarlett, I’d like to take you and Wade, and Ella on a picnic tomorrow. I’d like to tell Wade that I have to travel and that I’m coming back and will not forget about him, and I’d like us to all be together when I do.” 

Scarlett nodded. “That sounds fine, Rhett.” 

“That way he can ask questions of either of us and you’ll know exactly what I’ve told him if he has questions while I’m away.” 

Scarlett turned her face back to him and smiled, “Thank you, Rhett. That’s very thoughtful.” She squeezed his hand and whispered again, “Thank you.” How Rhett loved her son and thought of his needs filled Scarlett with emotions she didn’t understand. She felt a tingling all the way to her fingertips. 

“I talked with Mammy today.”

Scarlett grinned widely, “Well, How did it go?” 

Rhett laughed thinking back over the conversation. “Well, eventually.” 

“Do tell,” Scarlett smiled up at him with sparkling eyes. 

Rhett smiled down at Scarlett for a moment before beginning. 

“Well, I got here at about twenty minutes to noon to take Wade for dinner. Wade and Beau ran down the stairs to see me and Mammy wasn’t pleased that Prissy let them run in the house. I asked Wade to go change into his nicest clothes for our special dinner and when he and Beau went back upstairs I asked Mammy if I could speak to her for a moment about you.” 

“And Mammy agreed?” 

“Reluctantly.” 

_Mammy asked Rhett, “Why? What about Miss Scarlett.”_

_“Mammy, I’m concerned for her safety and I’d like to speak with you about what I plan to do about it.”_

_Mammy glared at Rhett for a moment with her eyes narrowed. She did not like this man. But her lamb spent a lot of her time with him and she could be a stubborn mule. Perhaps this man could keep her safe. Somebody should and Mr. Kennedy sure hadn’t. Finally, she nodded._

_“Thank you. May we speak in the library?”_

_Mammy was suspicious about this but agreed._

“So, we went into the library and I closed the door so no one could overhear. You should have seen the look on Mammy’s face when she realized we were closed into a room together.” 

Scarlett laughed, she knew Mammy’s disapproving glower well. Rhett was running his thumb back and forth across the back of Scarlett’s hand and Rhett watched as her other hand joined them so her hands were sandwiching his. 

“Rhett?” 

“Then I asked Mammy to take a seat and she glared at me, I’m sure because I was asking her to sit in your house, but I knew she wouldn’t unless asked and I didn’t want her standing.” 

“Did she?” 

“Yes. We sat and I explained my concern for your safety and who Elijah is, and when he will be arriving.” 

_“Mammy, I’m sure you know that I have been meeting Scarlett in the woods to drive her in the afternoons. It isn’t safe for her to be driving in those woods alone. You know that.”_

_“I do. It ain’t fittin neither.”_

_Rhett nodded. He wasn’t sure if Mammy meant Scarlett’s driving alone or Rhett’s driving with her but continued on. “Unfortunately, my business calls me away and I won’t be able to drive with her for some time.”_

_“She know that?”_

_“Yes. And she’s going to go into those woods alone. So, I’ve hired a driver and protector for her. Well, hired is the wrong word. I’ve arranged for a driver and protector for her. His name is Elijah and he’s an old family darkie.”_

_“I’m not letting Miss Scarlett be out with some stranger.”_

_“Well, let me tell you about him, Mammy. I need your help protecting Scarlett while I’m away.”_

_“Is you in love with my chile?”_

_Shit. Rhett could not lie to Mammy about this. If he convinced Scarlett to marry him Mammy would make his life miserable if she believed Rhett didn’t love Scarlett. And Mammy likely wouldn’t tell Scarlett unless Scarlett directly asked her if Rhett had said he loved her. This was a risk he’d have to take. “Yes, Mammy, I love Scarlett very much, and Wade and Ella too. I’ll be gone for a long time, two or three months. That’s why I have to arrange for her to be protected while I’m away.” It would have been much easier to convince Scarlett’s father, but Rhett knew that Mammy was the real parent in Scarlett’s life._

_Mammy smiled and nodded her head sharply once._

_“Ah,” Rhett thought, “she’s obviously seen it, it’s obvious to everyone but Scarlett.”_

_“Uncle Peter can protect her.” Mammy’s grumble interrupted Rhett’s thoughts._

_“No, Mammy, Uncle Peter is Scarlett’s family, but he won’t go driving with her and he’s getting old. Elijah is my age and strong. He is the son of my mammy. His people have been with my mother’s family for generations. My mammy was expecting Elijah when my mother married my father and she came with my mother into the marriage. Elijah is about a year older than me and we’ve spent our lives together. Elijah is not some trashy free issue darkie, he won’t take money. He’ll need to come into this family and be family, do you understand? I trust him with my life and I trust him with Scarlett’s life.”_

_Mammy thought for a moment, “He family?”_

_“Yes.”_

_“Where he live?”_

_“Right now he’s in Charleston with my mother, I’ve bought him a ticket to come down this week. He arrives on Thursday while Scarlett and the children are at Tara. I want him to get to know the town and the woods some before Scarlett comes home and he has to know where danger might be hiding and where to go to protect her.” Mammy nodded. She liked the wisdom of this plan. Rhett swallowed his triumphant smile and continued, “Once he’s here he will be Scarlett’s family.”_

_“You gonna marry my chile?” Mammy asked sharply clearly catching Rhett’s implication._

_“I hope so Mammy. I’ve asked her and she’s thinking it over.”_

_“She what!” Mammy was scandalized, ladies did not think about proposals they accepted them or rejected them and that was that. Thinking! What was her lamb doing? She’d have to speak to Scarlett as soon as she returned._

_“Mammy, Scarlett’s had some hard years and she’s still young. It’s so soon after Frank and you and I both know she married Frank to save her family, not because she loved Frank or wanted to be with him. But losing him was still a loss for her. Scarlett has sacrificed a lot, she’s strong and she’s smart, but as fiercely as she protects others, she doesn’t protect herself well. I need her to be sure. I want to marry Scarlett and raise Wade and Ella as my own. But only if that’s what Scarlett wants too. Scarlett won’t be happy unless she knows that’s what she wants before we marry.”_

_Mammy nodded. This man did love her lamb. She could see it. And he sent for family to protect her. Mammy smiled, “So, he family?”_

_“Yes, Mammy.” Rhett smiled back. Now he had a real ally._

_“He stay in the carriage house with family then.”_

_“Thank you, Mammy. I know Elijah will appreciate being accepted as family. And I’m very much obliged to you for helping me keep my Scarlett safe.”_

_Mammy eyed Rhett before nodding and leaving him alone in the library to wait for Wade._

“Really?”

“Yes.” 

“And Mammy agreed?”

“First she told me Uncle Peter could protect you.” Scarlett laughed. 

“I had to carefully explain to her why he couldn’t.” 

“Oh my, was Mammy mad?” 

“Not really, I think she knows Uncle Peter can’t protect you.” 

“So, then she agreed?” 

“Once I explained how Elijah is family she understood and agreed. Mammy even informed me as family Elijah will live in the carriage house.” Scarlett and Rhett smiled at each other like mischievous children.

“How is Elijah family, Rhett?”

“He’s my mammy’s son. My mammy came with my mother in her marriage to my father. She was expecting Elijah at the time. He’s about a year older than me and we were raised together.” 

“Mammy’s don’t often have children.” 

Rhett leaned forward and put his finished cigar butt on the ground and stamped it out. Scarlett loosened her hands, but Rhett did not release her fingers. Sitting back up he said, “No, they don’t. But mine did. Elijah and I and then my younger brother took our lessons together and played together.” 

“Elijah took lessons?” 

“Unusual I know, but as I said, he’s family. I think it was easier for him to always be with us so my mammy wasn’t distracted looking for him or worried about who was looking after him.” 

Scarlett nodded, this made sense. After all her earliest friends had all been slave children on Tara. “Where is he now?” 

“He’s in Charleston with my mother. He’s stayed with her throughout the war. He’s how I used to be able to get word to my mother, and sometimes even food to her, when I was blockading through Charleston. Elijah would hear of my arrival and then come find me, or I’d go find him, and I’d give him whatever he could sneak past my father and we’d arrange a time for my mother and sister to come and visit me.” 

“I’m sorry, Rhett. I can’t imagine not being able to see my mother when she was alive.” 

Rhett looked into Scarlett’s eyes, they were open and calm and full of compassion. Rhett wanted to push her down and take her right there on the bench swing in front of her house. Instead he extricated his hand from hers and put his arm around her. She slid willingly into his side and laid her head on his chest. She briefly wrapped her arms around him and squeezed him to her, then released her arms and lifted her head to look at him. 

“Rhett,” she whispered, “someone will see us.”

Rhett pulled out his pocket watch and checked the time. “It’s only eight thirty. The musical won’t be over until nine.” 

“Are you trying to compromise me?”

“Not today.” Rhett smiled. 

Scarlett smiled back and laid her head back down. Sometimes it was easier to talk to Rhett if she didn’t have to look at him. Scarlett squared her shoulders and took a deep breath. 

Rhett could feel Scarlett preparing herself in his arms. He pulled her hand across him to join their hands in front of him and rested their joined hands on his thigh. He swept his other arm up and down her side soothingly. 

“Rhett, something happened today.” 

“Is that why you looked a little tense when we got back from the park?” 

“Um, yes. Uh…” 

“What happened, honey?” 

Rhett’s voice was soft and Scarlett wanted to stay in this moment where he was comforting and warm forever. She did not want to tell Rhett about India, but like Aunt Pitty, she knew Rhett would be angry if he heard the story from someone else. 

“India … India heard Melly ask me how you were and I said I didn’t know because … and … India heard and she said that I did know because everybody knew that we’d been riding in the woods together and … um … and …” 

“What else did she say, Scarlett?” 

“She said that I was a common hussy and ruining everyone’s reputation trying to catch a third husband.” Scarlett’s voice was a whisper and Rhett had to strain to hear her. 

Rage caused every muscle in Rhett’s body to clench. He wanted to strangle India Wilkes. How dare she say such a thing! If only she had a male relative other than Ashley Rhett would call him out for this. He’d never widow Miss Melly and Scarlett was just beginning to untangle the nonsense about Ashley in her head, Rhett didn’t want to stir her up about Ashley again either. 

The tension in Rhett’s body startled Scarlett, was he angry with her? Scarlett picked her head up and tried to pull away, but his arm was too strong around her. She released his hand and pushed against his thigh. The feeling of Scarlett’s hand on his thigh brought Rhett back from his fantasies of killing India Wilkes. 

“Rhett, I…” Scarlett’s voice was shaking. 

“Oh, no, no, honey,” Rhett said as he reached up and caressed her face. “I’m not upset with you.” The tension in the arm wrapped around her disappeared and Rhett caressed her face and kissed her forehead and eyelids. “I’m sorry,” he whispered against her face. “There is nothing common about you, nothing. And you are not a hussy, Scarlett. If she were a man I’d kill her for that.” 

Scarlett sank into Rhett’s chest relieved. She took her hand from his thigh and clenched a fistful of his shirt. 

“What else happened, Scarlett?” 

“Melly got angry. More angry than I’ve ever seen and she told India that she had to apologize or she would never set foot in Melly’s house again. Oh, Rhett! India left, she just turned and walked out of the theater and Melly’s going to have Ashley send India’s things to Macon. Now there’s a rift in Melly’s family and it’s my fault.” 

“No, honey, it’s India’s fault for being an idiot.” 

“But Rhett, if India’s saying that to Melly, it must … be what everyone is thinking or she wouldn’t dare.” 

“Scarlett, I don’t think that’s what everyone thinks about you. You know Melly doesn’t think that.” 

“But Melly only sees the good in people.” 

“No. I think Melly sees how people really are. I think she only says good things about people.” Scarlett thought about this and how Melly said she thought she knew what Scarlett’s freedom meant to her. She hadn’t said a negative thing about Scarlett or Frank or their marriage, but Melly had known that Scarlett needed freedom. And she had given it to Scarlett without a negative word spoken about anyone. Even now when Frank was dead and Scarlett wanted to thank her. 

Scarlett released Rhett’s shirt and put her arm around him. Rhett brought his other arm around her and they sat in silence for a few moments before Rhett added, “Scarlett, I know you are worried, but you shouldn’t be. I think all of Atlanta knows that I’m the one chasing you and India is jealous. If we marry, ten years from now people will laugh about how I chased you, and talk about how I used to drive you through the woods as a funny reminiscence from the hard years after the war.” 

“And if we don’t marry?” 

“We’ll work that out then. But, Scarlett, if we do marry and the mills bring you joy, I’ll still drive you through the woods.” 

“Really, Rhett?” 

“Yes. If they bring you joy. Not money. I have more than enough money for our grandchildren to be secure.”

Scarlett nodded her understanding and smiled into Rhett’s chest. Rhett kissed her hair and they swung in silence for a while. 

After what seemed to be no time at all, it was almost nine and Rhett knew he had to go, if Atlanta saw Rhett at Scarlett’s while she was newly in mourning Scarlett’s reputation would be ruined. 

“Scarlett, it’s time for me to go.” 

Scarlett released him and sat up. 

Rhett slid his hand to the back of Scarlett’s neck and pulled her face towards his. Then he leaned down and kissed her passionately, hungrily, like on the night he proposed and the and night he’d had to walk away from her. A tickling warmth pooled into Scarlett’s belly and her fingers trembled in Rhett’s hair. Scarlett kissed him back equally hungrily until her head spun and she finally turned her face away panting. “Rhett,” she said shakily.

“Don’t faint on me, Scarlett, I’ll never be able to explain it to Mammy this time.” 

Scarlett laughed merrily and buried her face in Rhett’s neck. 

Rhett kissed her temple, “Goodnight, Scarlett.” 

“Goodnight, Rhett.” 

“Well, go on inside.” 

“I can’t.” 

“Why not?” 

“My breathing is too hard. Mammy will know.” Rhett chuckled and held her to him until they were both calm. Then he pulled her up with him and led her to the door.

“Have yourself and the children ready at eleven tomorrow. We’ll go to the field where we used to go pick flowers during the war.” 

Scarlett nodded, “Would you like anything special for dinner?” 

“Yams.” 

Scarlett laughed, Rhett kissed her cheek and then turned and walked off into the night. Scarlett watched his retreating back for a moment, then she went in and closed the door. 

§§§ 

Scarlett laid in her bed for a long time that night, her mind was racing but she couldn’t focus on any of her thoughts. 

She turned her head and looked at Frank’s pillow. She remembered how comforting it was some nights to be curled against him with her head pillowed on him. Some nights they would sleep side by side, and some nights Frank had relations with her and then rolled over and fell asleep, but some nights he’d pulled her to him and they’d cuddled together and even though Scarlett hadn’t loved Frank, those were the nights she’d slept the easiest. She reached out her hand and ran it down the empty side of the bed. She wondered if she’d sleep easily with her head pillowed on Rhett’s chest. She smiled at the thought, she knew she would. She’d slept soundly in the carriage curled onto him in the middle of an argument. 

Scarlett wished she could curl herself onto Rhett at this moment. But to do that she’d have to marry him. Scarlett sighed. If she married Rhett she’d have to have relations with him. Scarlett felt like he would probably want that from her a lot. Perhaps she could bargain with him, he could have relations with her as long as he let Scarlett sleep on his chest whenever she wanted. Scarlett laughed to herself. She didn’t think that was a good idea. He would definitely want relations more than she was willing. She’d been able to hold Frank off to once or twice a week by their second month of marriage. And then she hadn’t had relations with him since Ella came. He’d tried once, much too soon and Scarlett hadn’t been able to stop the cry of agony. Frank had stopped immediately and asked if she was well. “No,” she’d cried, “it’s too soon, I have to heal.” “Oh, I’m sorry, Sugar,” Frank had said, then he’d wiped the tears from her face and pulled Scarlett onto his chest where she’d cried herself to sleep. In the morning Scarlett’s nightgown and Frank’s pajama bottoms were ruined with Scarlett’s blood. Scarlett knew it was the blood more than anything that had stopped Frank from trying again and Scarlett certainly wasn’t going to tell him when she’d healed. She thought this was probably one more thing that had made her a bad wife to Frank. 

Scarlett rolled onto her stomach and slug her arm over the empty half of the bed. Why was she thinking about relations? She sighed and decided to pretend Rhett was here with her to help her fall asleep. She was finally drifting off while imagining his hard chest beneath her cheek and his scent surrounding her when she heard Wade cry, “Mama!” 

“MAMA!” Scarlett raced into the nursery and seated herself on Wade’s bed. Wade was sitting up and sobbing. Scarlett pulled him to her chest and whispered, “Shhhh, shhhh, you’re all right, Mama has you, shhhhhh.” 

“Auntie Scarlett?” She heard Beau’s soft voice. 

“It’s all right, Beau, Wade just had a bad dream, go back to sleep sweetie.” 

“Yes, Auntie,” she heard his quiet whisper. 

“Wade? Honey? What happened in your dream?” 

“You left.” 

“Oh, honey, I’m not going to leave.” 

“You left and Aunt Melly left and Uncle Rhett left and there was no one.” 

“Shhhhh, darling, that’s never going to happen. I’m right here, and you will see Uncle Rhett and Aunt Melly tomorrow.” 

“I can see Uncle Rhett tomorrow?” 

“Yes, we are going to go on a picnic, doesn’t that sound lovely? And you can tell him about your dream and he will remind you he isn’t going to leave you either.” Scarlett cringed, she should have worded that differently as Rhett was about to leave. Scarlett laid down on her side and pulled the blankets over herself and Wade. Wade pressed his face into her neck and Scarlett ran her hand up and down his back over and over all the while thinking she was so grateful Rhett wanted to tell Wade he was leaving himself and with her there. She wondered sadly if of the three of them Rhett’s absence might be hardest on Wade. Soon Wade’s breathing evened and Scarlett let herself fall asleep. 


	11. Chapter 11

A little before eleven Sunday morning, just as Scarlett started to wonder if she should send Prissy to ask if Melly wanted Beau to go on the picnic, Melly appeared through the hedge to collect Beau. “India’s things are all packed,” Melly whispered, “let's tell the boys together.” Scarlett nodded her assent, she wasn't sure Wade would be upset about India, but it would be a hard day for Wade with the other bad news.

“Wade, Beau, come down to the parlor please,” Scarlett called upstairs. 

Scarlett and Melly sat on the ends of the sofa with their boys between them. Scarlett absently ran her fingers down Wade’s arm as Melly calmly explained to the boys that Auntie India had to go back to Macon to live with Aunt Honey.

“Did Aunt Honey get boys for India to play with?” Beau asked.

“No, your Auntie just needed some time with her sister.” 

“Is she coming back?” Wade asked. 

“No,” Melly waivered, “Not for a long time at least.” 

“Who will play with me?” Beau asked. 

“All the same people who play with you now, Beau, Wade, and me, and Daddy, and Auntie Scarlett, and Ella when she’s bigger, and Dilcey, and Prissy, and Cookie.” 

“Yes, Mama.” Beau shrugged. Scarlett saw that Wade wasn’t even paying attention anymore but was staring out the window. She hoped Rhett’s news went this well. She’d have to take Wade on a picnic at Tara so he didn’t think a picnic was how he got bad news.

Just then Cookie walked by to leave two baskets full of fragrant dinner by the door. Scarlett and Melly smiled indulgently as they watched both boy’s heads turning to eye the baskets all thoughts of their change in family forgotten. 

“Is that for the picnic?” Wade asked. 

“Yes,” Scarlett answered.

“I want to go on a picnic!” Beau whined. 

“No, Beau,” Melly spoke softly, “Mother missed you while you were having fun at Auntie Scarlett’s and I’d like you to come home.” 

“And we can all go on a picnic together this summer,” Scarlett added. 

Beau looked from his aunt to his mother. “Yes, Mama,” he agreed sullenly. 

The door knocker sounded and Wade sprang from the sofa shouting, “Uncle Rhett!” He raced from the room with Beau on his heels.

“Wade Hampton!” Scarlett shouted. “You are too young to open the door! Wait!” 

Melly reached across the sofa and squeezed Scarlett’s hand, “Have fun today,” she whispered. Scarlett blushed and squeezed Melly’s hand back. “Thank you,” she whispered then she rose to greet Rhett. 

When Cookie opened the door, Wade threw himself around one of Rhett’s legs. 

“Uncle Rhett,” Scarlett heard him say as she and Melly entered the hallway, “I had a bad dream.” 

“You did?” Wade nodded into Rhett’s leg as Rhett watched Scarlett frown. 

“You left,” Wade continued and Scarlett squeezed her eyes closed. 

Melly could see Scarlett’s distress and said, “Come along, Beau. We must get home.” 

Rhett rubbed his fingers through Wade’s hair while eyeing Scarlett. “You can tell me all about it on the way to the picnic, son.” 

Wade nodded his face still buried in Rhett’s leg. “Wade,” Scarlett said softly, “come say goodbye to Aunt Melly and Beau.” Wade released Rhett’s leg and moved to his aunt who knelt down to give him a hug. Melly saw Rhett reach out and give Scarlett’s hand a brief squeeze before releasing it. Melly blushed, it was so improper but it made Melly so glad. 

§§§ 

Finally Rhett, Scarlett, Wade, Ella, two baskets, a blanket, a parasol, Ella’s baby carriage and a bag containing Ella’s bottles, spare diapers, and rattle along with Wade’s jacks and blocks were all packed into Rhett’s carriage and they were headed north up Peachtree Street out of Atlanta. 

Wade, who had been sitting between Scarlett and Rhett on the driver’s seat, leaned on Rhett’s arm, “Uncle Rhett, can I drive with you.” 

“Sure, Wade, climb up.” Rhett lifted his arm as Wade clambered onto his lap and straddled his leg. Rhett shifted the reins into one hand and pulled some of the slacked reins hanging down by his feet and handed them to Wade. “Hold tight,” he directed. 

Rhett wanted to ask about Wade’s nightmare but felt it was probably better to wait until he wasn’t driving the carriage. 

Ella clapped her hands and babbled on Scarlett’s lap and Wade kicked his feet back and forth around Rhett’s leg as they drove into a quiet field. 

Rhett pulled the carriage up near a large tree in the field where he’d taken Scarlett picking flowers during the war. As he watched Scarlett look around and take the field in, he knew she was remembering that same day. Rhett smiled to himself as he unloaded the carriage thinking she was remembering a pleasant afternoon they had spent picking wildflowers. 

Scarlett stood and surveyed the grass and flowers waving in the slight breeze and thought of that same afternoon and how Rhett had lent Scarlett his handkerchief to wrap around the stems of the flowers they’d picked. Later that evening Scarlett had washed it and folded it neatly in her top drawer intending to give it back to Rhett at supper the next day. But the very next afternoon that Watling creature had given Melly a stack of money tied up in a handkerchief. When Scarlett and Melly unwrapped it and Scarlett saw the same R.K.B. monogram as the one in her drawer Scarlett had been furious. Scarlett stood there now remembering the rage tripping down her spine as she’d thrown Rhett’s handkerchief into the stove fire. 

Rhett leading the unhitched the horse away to graze brought Scarlett back to the present and she turned to spread the blanket in the shade wondering all the while if Rhett was still having relations with that woman. 

Walking back Rhett eyed Scarlett who was standing still at the edge of the blanket holding Ella. Walking up to her Rhett traced his fingers down her arm and then across the baby’s back before laying himself on his back on the middle of the blanket. As soon as Rhett laid down Wade ran over and climbed onto his belly. 

“Oomph,” Rhett groaned and Scarlett laughed. She sat down next to Rhett and placed Ella on the blanket in front of her and watched Ella lifting herself on her arms and waving back and forth. 

Rhett sat up holding Wade onto his lap. “Tell me what happened in your dream, son.” 

Wade gulped and looked over to his mother who nodded and smiled softly. “Mama left and Aunt Melly left and you left and there was no one to take care of me.” Rhett wanted to gloat and ask Scarlett if she’d noticed even her five-year-old son knew his Uncle Ashley was worthless. Instead he ran his hand soothingly down the boy’s back and said, “That must have been scary.” 

Wade nodded and buried his face in Rhett’s chest. Scarlett looked pleadingly at Rhett. 

“Wade, look at me,” Wade pulled back and looked up into Rhett’s face. “That wouldn’t happen, son. Your mother and your Aunt Melly and I all love you very much and we would never leave you.” 

“But you might have to go to heaven.” 

“Yes, but even if we all three went to heaven right now, you would be loved and taken care of. You could go to your Aunt Suellen and Uncle Will at Tara, or Uncle Ashley could take you or Aunt Pitty, you could even go to my mother in Charleston. She would love you as I do.” 

Wade nodded considering this. “And Ella, too?” 

“And Ella too.” 

“And Beau?” 

“And Beau,” Beau wasn’t Scarlett’s but he knew his mother would take all three children if she had to. 

“Wade,” Rhett continued, “Do you remember how I told you that when I had to travel you would be in my heart and I would be in yours and that I would come back to you?” 

“NO!” Wade cried standing up and throwing his arms around Rhett’s neck. “Don’t leave me! Noooo! Uncle Rhett! You promised…” Wade’s words became unintelligible through his tears. 

Rhett looked at Scarlett’s wide eyes and reached over and smoothed the backs of his fingers down her cheek before returning his hand to soothing Wade’s back. Rhett smiled down at Ella who had stopped rocking and was staring at Rhett and Wade. 

Rhett waited for Wade to stop yelling, smoothing his hands down the boys back and through his hair. When Wade’s words petered out and all Rhett could hear was the sound of the boy’s crying, Rhett turned his head and kissed the boy’s cheek and tickled Wade’s ear with his mustache. Wade wriggled in his arms and Rhett gently explained, “Son, just because I have to go away for a time does not mean that I don’t love you or that I won’t come back. I do love you and I will protect you. And I will come back as soon as I can. It’s just like when I go home for the night. Just because I live in a different place, doesn’t mean I won’t see you soon. This will just be longer.” 

Wade’s body started to sag against him and Rhett drew him down and sat Wade on his knee so Wade and Scarlett could see each other. Rhett rocked Wade slowly side to side and Wade placed his head on Rhett’s chest. Scarlett watched the two. Ella rolled over onto her back and began to flail her arms and legs angrily. She hadn’t yet mastered rolling back to her belly and was stuck. When she began to squall, Wade laughed and Scarlett rolled the baby back onto her belly. 

Rhett smoothed Wade’s hair back from his face. “Son?” 

“Hmmm?” Wade hummed his answer. “I need you to help your Mother and Ella while I’m traveling. You are the man of the house while I’m away. And I’ll be back by the start of summer and we will all come on a picnic again and I’ll take you fishing as we discussed at dinner.” 

“Yes, Uncle Rhett,” Wade said in a very small voice. 

Rhett continued smoothing his hand down Wade’s back and kissed Wade’s temple, “Wade, I promise, I am coming back.” Wade said nothing and Ella’s fussing grew more urgent. 

“I think she’s hungry,” Scarlett said, she stood and smoothed her hand into Rhett’s hair and down the side of his face before she walked to the bag to get a bottle for Ella. 

§§§ 

Scarlett sat a few feet away from where Rhett was still rocking Wade on his lap. Wade’s face was starting to lose the redness and his tear tracks had dried. 

Ella was refusing to allow the bottle into her mouth, she was closing her mouth and turning her head furiously. Scarlett was becoming increasingly frustrated as Ella wouldn’t take the bottle. “Rhett, I think we need to go back, I need to feed Ella.” 

“Doesn’t she take a bottle?” 

“Yes! Every day. I don’t know what’s wrong with her now, Prissy feeds her a bottle twice a day while I’m at the mills. I only feed her in the morning and at night.” 

“Well, that might be it.” 

“What?” 

“You aren’t Prissy, you are you. She’s in your arms and she wants you.” 

Scarlett didn’t answer as she tried to cram the bottle nipple into the baby’s squalling mouth. 

“Scarlett, just take her in the buggy and feed her.” 

“Rhett!! We are outside!”

“I’ll lift the top and close all the curtains and Wade and I will guard you, right, son?” Wade nodded and leaped up from Rhett’s lap. “We’ll protect you, Mama!” 

“See, no one will see you, and no one will know.” 

Scarlett was about to insist they leave when Ella let out a piercing scream. “Please lift the top then,” she agreed. They couldn’t ride all the way home with the baby screaming like this. Rhett rose and walked over to the carriage and lifted the top up. Ella wailed as Scarlett bounced her and watched Rhett prepare the carriage. 

When the carriage was ready Rhett walked over and took the squalling baby in his arms. Then he reached down for Scarlett’s hand and pulled her up. Scarlett flushed as she recalled how close he’d stood to her when he did this that night on the porch. Rhett didn’t hand her the baby, but put his hand on her back and led her to the carriage. He helped her climb in, then climbed in after her and handed her the baby. Then he kissed her on the forehead and climbed out, securing the door behind him. 

Scarlett waited a moment before unfastening her dress. As soon as she pulled her breast out Ella latched on and began suckling loudly. Scarlett groaned. She hoped Rhett could not hear this. 

Scarlett listened, she could hear every word Rhett and Wade were saying as they discussed what they would eat as soon as Scarlett finished with Ella. 

“Uncle Rhett, guess what?” 

“What?” 

“Cookie didn’t pack any yams. I asked. She baked us cookies though!”

“That’s wonderful, what kind?”

“I don’t know, but I like butter cookies. I think there’s cake too, but I like cookies.”

“That sounds delicious. I hope you are good so you get to have some cookies.” 

“I am always good!” Wade laughed. 

Wade started screaming with laughter crying, “Uncle Rhett! Ahhh! Uncle Rhett!” Rhett must be tickling Wade. Scarlett smiled and shifted Ella to her other breast. 

“Do you want me to stop?” 

“Yes! No! hahahahahahaha Yes!” 

“Well, which is it?” 

“Yes.” 

“How do you ask?” 

“Yes, please, Uncle Rhett!” Scarlett heard shifting about but couldn’t tell what Rhett and Wade were doing. 

Then she heard Wade continue, “And we are having chicken! Can I have the drumstick? It’s my favorite…” 

Scarlett smiled and let their voices fade into the background. She could not believe she was nursing her baby in a carriage in a field with Rhett a few feet away. She was surprised by how calm she felt. She remembered pretending that Rhett was lying beside her in her bed so she could fall asleep last night. She did find him so comforting to be around. 

Scarlett looked down when Ella released her nipple, thankfully the baby was asleep. Scarlett laid Ella on the seat beside her and tucked herself in. After making sure her dress was completely fastened she softly called, “Rhett? Rhett?” 

She heard a commotion, then his voice at the door, “May I open the door, Scarlett?”

“Yes, we are finished.” 

The door opened and Rhett leaned in. He smiled at Scarlett and then at the sleeping baby. 

“Can I hand her to you? The baby carriage is outside.” 

“Of course,” Rhett answered as he reached out. Once Ella was sleeping safely in her baby carriage Scarlett unpacked their lunch. There was chicken, mashed potatoes, biscuits, cornbread, butter, stewed carrots, two large slices of cake, and a little packet of cookies. 

“Butter cookies!” Wade exclaimed smiling. 

“Those are for dessert,” Scarlett said, “you have to eat dinner first.” 

“Can I have a drumstick?” 

“May I, and yes, you may” Scarlett pulled out a drumstick set it on a small plate with a scoop of mashed potatoes and a scoop of carrots. Rhett watched as Wade wrinkled his nose at the carrots. Scarlett laughed, “Wade, you like carrots.” 

“I know, but I’d rather have cookies.” 

“After you eat the carrots. Would you like cornbread or biscuits?” 

“Cornbread.” 

Scarlett buttered a piece and put it on Wade’s plate. “Eat up.” Wade put the plate across his knees and began eating his drumstick. 

“What would you like, Rhett? There’s a whole chicken in here, you can have whatever pieces you’d like.” 

“Are there wings?” 

“Yes.” 

“I’d like a wing and a thigh.” 

“Cornbread or biscuits?” 

“Biscuits.” 

Scarlett nodded and filled a plate with a thigh, both wings, two biscuits, mashed potatoes, and a large scoop of carrots. 

Wade laughed when she scooped the carrots onto the plate. 

Rhett smiled and took the plate and sat next to Wade with his legs stretched out in front of him. “We’d better eat all of our carrots, son, to make your mother proud.” 

Wade nodded and scooped some carrots into his mouth. Wade did like carrots and he quickly ate the entire buttery pile of them. 

Scarlett filled her own plate with a thigh, a biscuit, and carrots. She poured herself and Rhett tea from the jug and handed Wade a cup of water. She sat on Wade’s other side with her plate tucking one foot under herself. 

“No potatoes?” Rhett asked. 

“No, I like extra carrots.” 

Wade burst out laughing and Scarlett leaned over and kissed his head. “I mean it, Wade” she warned, “I understand about yams, but you have to eat your carrots.” 

“I did!” he answered, still giggling and lifting his plate for her to see. 

After they finished eating Scarlett repacked the large basket with the food and gathered the dishes into the other basket. 

Rhett moved to lean his back against the tree shading the blanket. His long legs were stretched in front of him, crossed at the ankles. 

“Rhett,” Scarlett called, “there’s coffee too, would you like some?” 

“Perhaps later.” 

Wade was sitting at Rhett’s knees and after checking on Ella Scarlett sat next to Wade, extending her feet towards Rhett. 

“Will you play jacks with me, Uncle Rhett?” 

“Sure, son, go grab them.” 

“They are in the blue bag, darling,” Scarlett called after him. 

“I’m tired,” Scarlett said to Rhett as she yawned. 

“Wade kept you up last night?” 

“Yes, he was very upset after his dream.” Scarlett didn’t mention the other thoughts that had kept her awake last night. 

“I’d imagine so.”

“Rhett, thank you for talking to him.” 

Rhett smiled and nodded his acceptance of her thanks, “Take a nap, we are all right.” 

“All right,” Scarlett smiled at him and then laid back pillowing her head on her arms. She felt Rhett squeeze her ankle briefly and it sent gooseflesh up her leg. 

Wade returned with the jacks and sat down between Scarlett and Rhett. Scarlett drifted to sleep as she listened to Rhett and Wade playing jacks. 

She was jolted awake when she felt Wade kick her side. “Oh, I’m sorry, Mama!” Wade apologized as Scarlett groaned and rolled to her side. 

“It’s all right, Wade. I’m sure it was an accident.” 

Wade knelt in front of Scarlett as Rhett reached forward and helped her sit up. 

“Is Ella still sleeping?” Scarlett asked. 

“Yes,” Rhett answered, “You were only asleep for a little while before someone got over excited.” 

“I’m sorry, Mama,” Wade said, “I got threesies.”

“It’s all right, darling” Scarlett pulled Wade into her side and kissed his cheek, “I’m uninjured.” 

Wade nodded and sat down leaning against Scarlett. Then Wade put his skinny little legs on top of Rhett’s and asked, “Uncle Rhett, I’m your boy right?”

“Right.”

“So, you are my daddy?” 

“Not exactly, yet.”

“Can I call you daddy?” 

Rhett looked over at Scarlett’s face. Instead of her usual crimson, she was white. She was afraid Rhett realized. He dropped his hand to her ankle and squeezed. He hoped she knew he would never hurt her boy. 

“Not yet, Wade. When I become your daddy we will do something special, just you and I to mark the occasion. That’s when you can call me daddy. Understand?” 

“Yes, Uncle Rhett. What will we do?” 

“Well, I don’t know yet. Why don’t you think about it for a while and we can decide later.” 

“I will. Will it be in a long while, Uncle Rhett?” 

“I hope not, son” and looking at Scarlett’s face added, “why don’t you go pick your mother and sister some flowers.”

Wade paused, his mother looked upset. Maybe he had better go pick her some flowers. “Yes, Uncle Rhett!” Wade scrambled off. 

As soon as he was out of earshot Scarlett turned to Rhett and asked, “Rhett, I … do I … have to decide today?” 

“No, Scarlett,” Rhett said. He leaned forward and pulled her to him then turned her to lean her back against his side. As soon as she stopped shifting, he wrapped his arm securely around her belly. Scarlett sighed and leaned her head back against his shoulder. “Think about it while you are at Tara.”

“Thank you,” She said laying her arms on top of his. Rhett placed his other arm on top of hers and laced their fingers together. 

They sat for a moment with Scarlett wrapped in Rhett’s embrace.

“Scarlett, it was wrong of me, on the day I first proposed to threaten to compromise you. You are a grown woman with a bright and beautiful mind, two children, thriving businesses, and an extended family you have been supporting since you were still a child yourself. You know who you love and who you want to be with. And I trust you to tell me when you are ready.” 

Scarlett tugged his arms tighter around her, “Rhett? But, …um…” 

“I’ll ask you again when I come home.” 

“Home is Atlanta?”

“Yes.” Rhett kissed the side of her head. Scarlett felt like she could melt into him. She watched Wade running through the grass giggling wildly. He must be chasing something. She smiled. Rhett did love her. Melly was right. And he loved her son. 

Scarlett turned her head so part of her forehead rested against Rhett’s chin. The warmth of his skin soothed her rattled nerves. “Will you tell me?” 

“What?” 

“When you are coming home? During the war you would leave without saying goodbye and then just reappear one day.” 

“Yes. I’ll send you a telegram as soon as I’ve landed back in New York. That will give you several days warning.” 

“Thank you.” Scarlett sighed and relaxing against Rhett, felt his breathing beneath her back. She breathed deeply and felt the shelter of his arms, his warmth and his scent soothe her. “This is what being loved feels like,” she thought. Suddenly she knew with every fiber of her being, Rhett loved her. She thought back over the men in her life. Everyone told her Charles had loved her, and he probably had but they had been children even though Charles was 20 when they married. Frank had told Scarlett he loved her, and she supposed Frank did in his way. Then there was Ashley. Scarlett thought about the differences between how Rhett and Ashley treated her, the difference between Ashley’s arms in the orchard and Rhett’s arms now. Ashley had loved Scarlett and loved Scarlett still, but he’d never been in love with her. In that moment Scarlett finally understood the difference. Ashley loved her, but he was not in love with her and he never had been. But Rhett is in love with her, and the rest of them, they loved her the same way she loved Wade, and Melly and Careen and Ma and Pa. It was different, but it was love. She thought about telling Rhett right then that she would marry him. It would be wonderful to be loved like this for the rest of her life. But as she opened her mouth something stopped her. “Am I in love with Rhett?” she wondered. She realized she didn’t know. She thought she’d been in love with Ashely for so long and she hadn’t been. Scarlett closed her mouth and resolved to discover if she was in love with Rhett before agreeing to marry him. “I’ll think about it tomorrow at Tara,” she decided. 

Scarlett didn’t realize she’d closed her eyes until she heard Rhett call, “Are you alright, Wade?” Scarlett opened her eyes and sat bolt upright, “What happened?” 

“He tripped,” Rhett answered. 

Scarlett watched as Wade stood up in the grass. “Are you hurt, Wade?” She called out. 

“No! But I dropped all the flowers.” 

“Hold on, Son, your mother and I will come help you.” Rhett stood and pulled Scarlett to her feet. Scarlett peeked into the baby carriage before taking Rhett’s extended hand and walking with him through the grass to kiss her son and pick up spilled flowers.


	12. Chapter 12

Rhett stopped the carriage at the Hamilton house and tossed the reins over the hitching post. He climbed down and opened the carriage door and lifted Wade out asking, “Wade, go up and ask Uncle Peter to come help unload the carriage.” 

“Yes, Uncle Rhett,” Wade raced up the walk to the door. 

Rhett took out the baby carriage and was reaching up for Scarlett to hand him Ella when Prissy appeared at his side. Rhett handed the baby over to Prissy and then reached in to hand Scarlett out. 

Uncle Peter finished unloading the carriage and as they walked up the walk arm in arm, Scarlett smiled up at Rhett. Rhett smiled back down at her, “Are you all right?” Scarlett had looked a little dazed since their conversation by the tree. 

Scarlett nodded and squeezed his arm, “I wish you didn’t have to be gone so long.” 

“Me too, my dear.” 

Scarlett led Rhett into the library hoping for a long goodbye kiss without all of the servants watching, but Wade trailed by Mammy followed them in. 

“Wade, say goodbye to Uncle Rhett, darling, and then go on upstairs with Mammy, I’ll be right up.” 

“No!” Wade shouted as he ran over and grabbed Rhett’s leg. 

“C’mon Mr. Wade, give your momma a minute with Uncle Rhett.” Mammy cajoled. 

“No! Uncle Rhett you can’t leave!” 

Rhett bent over and pulled Wade up into his arms. “Wade, son, do you remember what we talked about at the park?” 

Scarlett pushed Rhett in the direction of the sofa and he sat, pulling Wade into his lap. Wade buried his face in Rhett’s neck and grabbed small fistfuls of his jacket. Scarlett directed a “get out!” look at Mammy and then sat beside them putting her hand on Wade’s back. 

“But, Uncle Rhett, I don’t want you to go.” 

“I don’t want to go either, but part of being a man is doing things you don’t want to do.” 

Scarlett realized they would not be able to say a private goodbye, Wade wouldn’t go upstairs with Mammy, Scarlett would have to comfort her crying son. “I’m sorry” she mouthed to Rhett. 

Rhett placed his hand on top of hers over Wade’s back and squeezed her fingers. 

“Wade, can you be a little man and care for your mother and sister for me? I will miss you all very much, but I will be home as soon as I can.” 

“It’s a long time.” 

“It is a long time, son, but it will go by quickly, you’ll go to Tara and then come home and play with Beau and before you know it I’ll be back.” 

“Uh huh,” Wade sniffled not removing his face from Rhett’s neck.

“Good boy, look at me and promise me that you’ll be my brave little man and help me.” 

Wade looked up, “I promise.” 

Rhett kissed his cheek, “Good boy, now go to your mother and let her take you upstairs. You’ve had a long day.” 

Rhett placed Wade into Scarlett’s arms and briefly hugged them both. He smoothed the hair off of Wade’s forehead and whispered, “Goodbye, son, I love you very much and I’ll be home soon. Be a good boy for your mother.” Then he kissed Wade’s cheek again. Leaning over he kissed Scarlett’s too. Scarlett blushed. Wade was right there and Mammy was probably spying. He caressed Scarlett’s cheek and said, “Goodbye, Scarlett, I’ll see you soon.” 

“Goodbye, Rhett,” Scarlett whispered. Wade whimpered. Rhett ran his hand down the boy’s back and over Scarlett’s arm then stood and left. 

§§§ 

On the train to Jonesboro Monday morning Wade sat in Scarlett’s lap and whimpered, “Mama, when is Uncle Rhett coming back?” 

“As soon as he can,” Scarlett answered smoothing her hand up and down Wade’s back the way she always saw Rhett do it. Wade had been up in the night three times with nightmares and Scarlett and Wade were both exhausted. 

Ella babbled to herself happily in Mammy’s arms while Prissy stared out sullenly the window. Scarlett yearned for the time to pass quickly. She wanted Rhett to come home too. Scarlett leaned her head back and closed her eyes. She could feel Wade’s head against her chest and his small hand closed over her arm. She wondered what it would be like if Rhett were sitting next to her. What it would be like if she’d married him and they were on their way to England with him. Scarlett’s head snapped up, “No!” she thought, “I can’t think about this now, I’ll think about it later at Tara when I can stand it better.” 

§§§ 

At breakfast Tuesday morning Wade asked something about Uncle Rhett and Suellen sneered at Scarlett, “are you going to steal a third husband from someone the way you stole your second husband?” 

Scarlett threw down her napkin and leaped up to begin shouting in her own defense as Will stood and shouted, “Quiet! Mammy, please take the children out.” 

Once the children were out of the room Will turned on the sisters and exclaimed, “You will not do this, especially not in front of the children. Sue, Scarlett didn’t force Frank to do anything. He was a grown man with his own free will and you don’t get to act like he didn’t have a choice.” 

“But she tricked him!” 

“Maybe she did, be he still chose her and it saved you and that’s enough. I will not hear of this again. Frank is dead. Your sister is here to mourn and you will not behave in this manner.” 

Suellen stormed out of the dining room and Will turned to Scarlett, “Scarlett, I know why you did what you did. I do. And I know why Suell’s hurt about it. It don’t make it right, but she is.” Will nodded sternly, then continued, “I’m sorry for your loss.” 

“Thank you, Will.” 

Scarlett didn’t know what Will said to Suellen later but Sue didn’t speak of Frank or of Scarlett’s marriages for the rest of Scarlett’s visit. 

§§§ 

That afternoon Scarlett went into her mother’s little office to write a letter to Melly. Scarlett wished Melly and Beau could have come to Tara with her, but she hadn’t asked. Melly wouldn’t leave Ashley while his shoulder was healing. 

“Dear Melly” Scarlett began and then crossing it out wrote, “My Dearest Sister.” Scarlett began writing about the argument with Suellen in the morning, then paused. She wanted to write Melly happy news. What could she write about? Scarlett’s mind drifted over all of the things she needed to think about while at Tara, if was in love with Ashley, how she felt about Ashley not being in love with her, Rhett being in love with her, if she was in love with Rhett, Wade’s nightmares, if she wanted to marry Rhett. Somehow Scarlett knew her feelings about Ashley were tangling her feelings about Rhett. She needed to work out her thoughts about Ashley before she could work out the mystery that was her feelings for Rhett. 

Scarlett’s eyes drifted over the pigeon holes, some still stuffed with papers and reminisced about sitting on the sagging sofa and watching as her mother wrote at this desk. 

Scarlett’s mind skimmed through happy childhood memories and then landed on the day Ashley returned from his grand tour. Ashley rode up to where Scarlett was sitting on the porch looking like a young blond god. He’d dismounted and kissed her hand teasing her for growing up. Scarlett smiled to herself, that memory always made her smile. Then Scarlett frowned, she hadn’t felt a swell of joy in her chest and her heart was beating calmly. 

Then she thought of Rhett’s voice saying “Scarlett, you know that there’s a difference between loving an old friend and being in love with them?” She thought of how she’d stared at his arm then, trying to will Rhett to draw it about her. She thought of sleeping against his chest even while they were arguing. She smiled to herself as she thought of leaning back on Rhett’s chest enclosed in his arms against the tree the other day and realizing the difference between love and being in love. Scarlett could feel her heart pounding into her rib cage. She smiled. She wasn’t in love with Ashley. She loved him dearly, almost as much as she loved Melly. She and Ashley had been children together and they would always remember the same world that disappeared in the war. There was a bond between them, but that wasn’t the same as being in love. Scarlett took a breath as deep as her stays would allow; she felt lighter somehow. 

Scarlett smiled and looked down at her letter to Melly. It was ruined with ink she had let drip all over while she was woolgathering. Scarlett tore the parchment into shreds. Then pulling out a new parchment she began:

_My Dearest Sister Melly,_

__

__

_Tara is beautiful. So many flowers are blooming and the air is crisp and fresh. I feel renewed already._

§§§ 

“DADDY!” 

“DAAAAADYYY!” 

Scarlett sat upright and cocked her head. Was that screaming? 

“MAMA!” Yes! It was Wade. Scarlett sprung from her bed, grabbed her wrapper and headed down the hall. 

When Scarlett entered the nursery Suellen was standing in the middle of the room holding a crying Suzie while Ella cried from her bassinet and Wade sat up in his little bed with his arms outstretched. “I’m sorry,” Scarlett said as she sat on Wade’s bed and he clasped her around her middle.. His face was red and mottled and covered with tears. “My room is all the way at the other end of the hall and I couldn’t hear him.” 

Suellen snorted. Prissy finally entered the room rubbing her eyes. “Prissy, put Ella back to sleep, Mr. Wade is going to sleep with me tonight and then tomorrow get Careen’s room ready, Mr. Wade will sleep there while we are here.” 

‘’Yes’m,” Prissy mumbled reaching for Ella.

“C’mon, Wade, darling. Let’s go to Mama’s room.” 

Wade lifted his arms for Scarlett to carry him and she groaned as she lifted him out of the bed. He was going to be too heavy for her to carry soon. 

Once they were in Scarlett’s room she laid them both down on the bed and pulled the blankets over them. She smoothed her hand up and down Wade’s back whispering, “Shhhh, shhhh darling, Mama’s here, shhhhh,” until his sobs quieted. 

“Mama?” 

“Yes, baby?” 

“Where is Uncle Rhett?” 

“He’s going to England, but he will be home as soon as he can, remember?” 

“I want him now.” 

“I know, darling, but we have to wait. What happened in your dream?” 

“I was calling him and calling him, but he didn’t come. He promised he would come.” Wade said burying his face into Scarlett’s neck. Wade had been screaming “daddy” in the night for Rhett. What would she do? 

§§§ 

The next morning after making sure Wade was calmly in Mammy’s care and that one of the small beds from the nursery would be put into Careen’s room, Scarlett rode out alone with a basket of dinner, a jug of coffee, and a blanket. She rode to a hilltop that let her look over most of Tara and a large portion of Twelve Oaks. When she arrived, she tied the horse to a tree branch with saddle rope and let her graze. Then taking her basket, Scarlett spread the blanket and sat with her back against the tree at the top of the hill. 

She watched the Flint River glinting in the distance and looked over the planted and fallow fields. Then sighing deeply Scarlett pulled her knees up and hugged them to her chest. Laying her head on arms she found herself weeping. She wept for her lost youth, she wept for Charles and Frank and Wade and Pa, she wept for the Tarleton twins and all of the other boys who never came home, she wept for all of the time she lost thinking she was in love with Ashley, she wept because she wished she’d married Rhett during the war, but then she wouldn’t have Ella. When she had that thought she stopped weeping and picked her head up. Melly was right, Scarlett was in love with Rhett and she had been since during the war! Scarlett thought back over all the times Rhett had called on her during the war. Scarlett hadn’t realized that the quickening of her pulse when Rhett walked into a room or her jealousy when he paid attention to or danced with another girl were signs that she loved him. She hadn’t known that her love for him was why she accepted his calls him every time he came back after being gone or being mean. Scarlett wished Melly had told her much sooner. Then Scarlett frowned, realizing she’d wished her mother had told her the difference between love and being in love and infatuation when she was fourteen and thought she was in love with Ashley. Think of all the trouble that would have saved! Oh, but then Scarlett wouldn’t have Wade either. Scarlett smiled, she loved Wade fiercely and was very glad she had him. She also wouldn’t be Melly’s sister. Scarlett smiled at the first real affection she ever felt for Charles Hamilton and his place in her life. No, she would never want to change marrying Charles. Besides, what was done was done. Scarlett knew she loved Rhett now and she couldn’t wait for him to come home so she could tell him. 

Scarlett spent most of that day sitting under the tree thinking. She looked back over her life and Rhett and saw how he’d loved her and how she loved him. Ellen Robillard had once laid down a girl and after a dark night of the soul rose up a woman. Scarlett had experienced such a change when she’d come home one September evening to find her mother dead. Mother and daughter had made sacrifices for family and neither had been fully satisfied with their lives. But Scarlett Kennedy rose up from her tree a changed woman, a woman at peace who was able to see her past for what it was and able to look forward to the future. 

As the sun started dipping over the horizon Scarlett packed her basket, blanket, and jug and untied the horse, then stopping she laughed out loud. How had she changed so much that she spent a whole day thinking to herself? Frank’s death had set her free in more ways than she’d realized at the time. She knew when she married Rhett he’d let her keep as much freedom as she needed. He’d even told her he’d drive her to the mills if they made her happy. She took a last deep breath of the fresh air before mounting the horse and riding back to Tara.

When she arrived and walked back from the barn, she swept Wade into her arms, “I am so proud of you my little man. You have been such a help to me, would you like to go on a picnic just the two of us tomorrow?” 

§§§ 

Wade continued to wake in the night. Sometimes he screamed “Mama!” and sometimes “Daddy!” Scarlett knew he was crying out for Rhett but she didn’t know what to do. Wade’s nightmares seemed worse at Tara. 

Scarlett wrote to Melly about Wade’s nightmares and how he woke up screaming for Rhett. Melly wrote back suggesting Wade write Rhett a letter. Wade loved this idea and Scarlett wrote as Wade dictated. She’d figure out where to send it to Rhett when they got back to Atlanta. 

Wade’s nightmares were the only dull spot of Scarlett’s stay at Tara. Scarlett spent the mornings riding around the old bridle paths she’d ridden with Ashley. One morning she even brought Wade with her. It was awkward with the little boy riding astride her hip on the side saddle, but Wade’s bright smile was worth it. Scarlett spent the afternoons rocking on a chair in the front porch with Ella at her feet trying to crawl and watching Wade chase geese across the lawn and dig for worms. 

At night she laid in bed and listened to the wind whispering in the trees and thought of Rhett. She developed a habit of turning onto her stomach and imagining he was there with her. She imagined her own arm was his chest, she imagined she could hear his breathing and his heart beating, she imagined she could smell him and feel his warmth. Each night she drifted off to sleep pretending he was there.


	13. Chapter 13

Scarlett, the children, Mammy, and Prissy arrived back into the warm spring air of Atlanta on the three o’clock train on Monday, April 8th. Elijah and Uncle Peter met the party at the station and Scarlett could see the truce between them was fragile. They both vehemently believed they were the proper party to retrieve Miss Scarlett and the children from the train. The carriage was so cramped they would have to go back for the luggage. 

Rhett’s first letter was waiting for Scarlett on the little table in the library when she walked in that afternoon. Scarlett ran her fingers over Rhett’s handwriting on the front and smiled. She’d wait to read it until after supper. That night Melanie, Ashley and Beau had supper with Scarlett, Wade and Aunt Pitty to welcome Scarlett and the children home. Scarlett was thrilled to see Melly, but as they visited Scarlett’s mind kept drifting to Rhett’s letter. 

Scarlett rushed into the library as soon as the Wilkes family had returned home and children were upstairs with Mammy and Prissy. When Scarlett tore open the envelope and pulled out the parchment sheet a post card with a drawing of a bridge they were building to connect New York City and Brooklyn fell to the floor. Picking it up, Scarlett saw it was addressed to Wade. 

Scarlett read Rhett’s note to her little boy and tears pricked her eyelids. 

“Wade,” she stepped into the hall and called, “come back downstairs I want to show you something.”

Wade bounded into the library asking, “What, Mama?”

“It’s a postcard from your Uncle Rhett. Would you like me to read it to you?” 

Wade took the postcard from her hand and turned it over carefully looking at the drawing of the bridge and Rhett’s bold handwriting. 

“It’s for me?”

“Yes, these words here say ‘Dear Wade,’” Scarlett explained pointing. “Would you like me to read it to you?” 

“Yes please,” Wade handed his mother the card and climbed onto the sofa next to her. 

Scarlett read: 

_Dear Wade,_

_I’ve arrived in New York and sail for London in the morning. This card made me think of you. Like you this bridge is stronger than it looks. When it is finished it will support dozens of teams of horses and carriages and mules and wagons over the water. I am very proud of you and how strong you are being for your mother and sister, my son. I love you all very much and I look forward to seeing you soon._

_Love,_

_Uncle Rhett_

_P.S. What would you like from London?_

Wade looked at her with a big smile, “That’s what Uncle Rhett said?” 

“Yes, darling.” 

“When will I learn my letters? I want to read it.” 

“Soon, Wade. Maybe even this fall. I’ll speak with Uncle Rhett about it when he comes home.” 

Wade nodded, “Can I keep it?” 

“Yes, it’s yours. Though, perhaps we should hang it with your father’s sword so you can look at the drawing and the letters don’t fade.” 

“Now?” 

“Yes. Go ask Mammy for a tack and I’ll meet you in the nursery.” 

Wade scampered off. Scarlett sank back onto the sofa. 

I love you all very much. Joy surged through Scarlett as she looked at the words again. Unfolding the parchment Scarlett scanned Rhett’s letter quickly looking for the word love. Not seeing it, she scanned the letter a second time. No, Rhett hadn’t written “I love you” to Scarlett, but Scarlett knew Rhett loved her. Reading the letter for a third time Scarlett was able to take in Rhett’s message to her: 

_Darling Scarlett,_

_I have arrived in New York and will stay only this night before embarking for London by steamship. The passage will take about two and a half weeks depending on the seas after which your letters will reach me at Brown’s Hotel in London. I hope you enjoyed your stay at Tara and Suellen did not give you too much trouble. I know Elijah will be a good and loyal protector while I am away. Be safe, Scarlett._

_Yours,_

_Rhett_

She sighed wishing Rhett had written “I love you.” “Two and a half weeks, maybe more?” she thought. “Why, if Rhett is only gone 8 weeks he will spend almost all of that time traveling.” She smiled, he loved her very much to travel so long to stay in London for such a short time and then return home to her so quickly. And he had told her he loved her, he knew she’d read the card to Wade. Scarlett went upstairs and put Rhett’s letter to her under her pillow before going into the nursery to meet Wade. 

§§§ 

Scarlett fell back into the routine of the mills and the store as the weeks passed. She adored Elijah and every morning Elijah handed her up into the carriage Scarlett silently thanked Rhett for sending him. Elijah’s drawling voice reminded Scarlett of Rhett’s drawl and made her smile. Scarlett went to the mills every day but Wednesdays when she went to the store. She tried to be home from the mills by three as many afternoons as possible to have afternoon tea with Melly at four when Melly returned from calling.

Once he arrived in London Rhett wrote several letters describing his travels, always including a post card for Wade in which he told Wade he loved Wade, his mother and his sister. Rhett never wrote I love you to Scarlett and she never wrote it to him. 

Scarlett composed long letters to Rhett about everything except what she had realized about her love for him and Ashley and their different kinds of love for her and the contents of Wade’s nightmares. She wrote how Wade’s nightmares had been worse at Tara but were only three or four nights a week now that they were back in Atlanta. She wrote about her thanks for Elijah. She wrote about tea with Melly and calling and sewing circles. She wrote that Ashely’s shoulder had healed and he returned to running the mill. She wrote that she was proud of her mills and when she drove through Atlanta and looked and the buildings made of her lumber she was filled with pride. She wrote that she had thought a lot about what she and Rhett had discussed regarding her mills and perhaps she would like to terminate Johnnie Gallegher and hire Hugh to run the mill, but she’d like to discuss it with Rhett when he came home first. She wrote when Ella learned to crawl. Always when she was finished she had Wade come and sit on her lap so she could help him write a message to Uncle Rhett by guiding Wade’s hand. 

§§§ 

One Friday two weeks after Scarlett’s return to Atlanta Aunt Pitty was in her room resting after a spell about something or other so Scarlett sent Prissy through the hedge to bring Melly and Beau over. It wasn’t Pitty’s at home day and Scarlett hoped Melly would forego calling and come visit with Scarlett. 

When Melly, Prissy and Beau appeared through the hedge Scarlett beamed. 

Walking into the parlor with Scarlett where Mammy had already laid out tea, Melly asked, “Darling, what is it?” 

“Oh, Melly, we haven’t had any time to really talk since I’ve been back and I’ve missed you so.” 

Melanie squeezed Scarlett and then joined her on the sofa with tea. 

Scarlett looked over at Melly, “Melly, I love Rhett so very much, I wasn’t sure…but I thought about it at Tara and … thank you for helping me see it.” 

Melly smiled and clasped Scarlett’s hand, “Oh my darling, I was so worried you might not realize it because you were so angry after he left us and, well, because of Frank … no matter, I’m so happy for you.” 

“Thank you. I’m so happy too.” Scarlett’s face fell. 

“What is it?” Melly asked her concern evident. 

“It’s just… Melly, it is awful, I know, but… I’m afraid, I’m afraid you won’t understand.”

“Don’t be silly dear, there is nothing you can tell me that would make me think less of you.” 

Scarlett smiled wistfully. She knew Melly believed that, but she also knew the things she would never, never tell Melly about. 

“Melly, I do want to marry Rhett, but it’s still so soon after Frank and I’m afraid he’ll get bored waiting or won’t want to wait so long … and if we marry soon, everyone will talk and they’ll say I didn’t love Frank it was just a marriage of convenience and …. Melly, even if it was, Frank gave me so much and I’m not sure I made him happy, but … people will say that to Ella when she is older. I never want her to know, um … the circumstances.” 

Melly nodded. This was serious. Scarlett should wait at least the two and a half years she would be in mourning before marrying again. If she waited only one year until the end of deep mourning it would still be a scandal but people would understand. 

“Melly,” Scarlett took a deep breath and continued softly, “When Wade cries out for Rhett at night, he isn’t calling for Uncle Rhett, he calls for daddy, and ah, well Charles…” Scarlett felt her throat closing. She couldn’t get the rest of the words out. 

“Oh my darling,” Melly cried throwing her arm around Scarlett, “are you worried about that? Charlie would understand. He would want his son to have a father he loved even if it couldn’t be him. I know, darling. I’m sure of it. Besides, I want that for Wade and I know you do too. Captain Butler loves Wade so and, well, he has always been like a father to Wade. It’s only natural that Wade and Ella should want to call him daddy when he really is the father who loves them.” 

“Do you think so, really?” 

“Yes,” Melly said firmly. 

“Thank you,” Scarlett whispered as Melly removed her arm and they both sipped their tea. 

“Scarlett, darling, don’t worry. I think I can help everyone understand about the timing too.” 

“Melly, whatever do you mean?” 

“Well, all of Atlanta knows that Captain Butler has loved you for years, and just let me help, Scarlett.” 

Scarlett was about to refuse when she took in Melly’s shining eyes and open, smiling heart-shaped face. Melly wanted to help Scarlett and Scarlett owed Melly so much and was holding so much secret she hoped Melly would never find out. Scarlett nodded to herself, then put her hand over Melly’s, “Of course, Melly.” 

They spent the rest of the afternoon chatting gaily about Tara, baby Suzie’s colic, Beau and Wade’s antics, and all of the Atlanta events Scarlett had missed. 

§§§ 

The next Tuesday Melly sat with Mrs. Mead, Mrs. Merriwether, and Maybelle Picard in her parlor sipping tea. Clearing her throat, Melly straightened her back and began bravely, “I need your help ladies.” 

“With what, Melly,” Maybelle asked sweetly. 

“I would like Scarlett to marry Captain Butler.” 

Three angry voices replied at once, “Melly! You must be joking?” “How could you say such a thing, it’s much too soon!” “That scallywag? Have you taken leave of your senses?” 

When the din quieted Mrs. Merriwether repeated imperiously, “Don’t be silly, Scarlett’s in mourning, they must wait at least two and a half years and at least three would be better.” There, that should end this topic of conversation she thought. 

Melly nodded gravely, “That’s just what Scarlett said when I spoke with her.” 

“Melanie! You did not!” 

“I did. And she said it was too soon, but I would like you to help me make her understand that it is not.” 

Mrs. Meade gasped while Mrs. Merriwether bellowed, “It is too soon, young lady!” 

“No, Mrs. Merriwether, it is not. I understand the customs, I do. But they weren’t meant for after a war. Little Wade is growing up without a father. Did you know he wakes screaming in the night for Captain Butler? My little nephew, my Charles’s boy deserves to be happy and to be loved. You all know that Captain Butler has loved Scarlett and loved Wade since the early days of the war. Remember how Captain Butler used to sit on the steps at parties and rock Wade when he was a baby? Scarlett only turned him down back then because she was still broken hearted about Charlie, poor dear.” 

“Well, that’s not true,” Mrs. Merriwether glowered thinking she knew very well that if Scarlett Hamilton turned anyone down it was not because of Charles Hamilton. 

“It is, Mother,” Maybelle added, “She turned down Carey Ashburn several times, too.” 

“Yes, and several others,” Melly added, “You’ve all had babies. Scarlett was still a young girl with a new baby and a broken heart. First babies are so difficult, and Aunt Pitty and I helped, but until I had Beau while Ashley was away at the war, I didn’t really understand what it was like for Scarlett to have Wade without Charlie,” Melly trailed off as her eyes watered. 

“I know, Melly,” Maybelle nodded, “When Rene was gone when I had … I … I know, Melly.” 

“And Scarlett was only seventeen,” Melly added dabbing her eyes. 

Mrs. Meade thought about how much Dr. Meade had helped her with Darcy when Darcy was a baby and she’d been practically an old maid when they’d married. 

The women sat in silence for a few moments, each thinking of the difficulties of their first baby. 

“So, that is why I want you to help me. Captain Butler and Scarlett love each other and yes, they could wait, but I want them to marry now for Wade and Ella. Wade deserves to have Captain Butler there in the night to calm him when Wade cries for him. And if they marry now Ella will never know what it is to grow up without a father. How can I not save my little niece from that when it hurts Wade so? Captain Butler will love those children as his own and doesn’t that matter more than anything else? 

“But Frank…” Mrs. Meade began.

Melly interrupted, “Mr. Kennedy was a good man who loved Scarlett and Ella very much. He saw all of the children growing up without fathers because of the war, do you think he would want that for his own daughter he loved so much? No. he would want Ella to be loved and cared for and to never cry at night for a father that she doesn’t have. The children matter more, they are more important than a custom from before the war took so many fathers.” 

Maybelle broke first, thinking of Raul crying out for Rene, “You are right, Melly. If it was me and Raul were crying in the night I would want to marry the man he wanted for him… the very next morning, actually.” 

The four women laughed. Melly was overjoyed. Once Mrs. Elsing and Mrs. Whiting were on her side all of Atlanta would clamor for Rhett and Scarlett to marry as soon as possible. 

§§§ 

Wade asked when Uncle Rhett was coming home every night and every night Scarlett told him Uncle Rhett would be home as soon as he could. She’d read Rhett’s postcards to Wade over and over. 

On Monday May 20th, nine weeks after Rhett had left Elijah handed Scarlett a telegram after he helped her into the carriage. “This came for you just now, Miss Scarlett.”

Scarlett tore it open. 

DARLING STOP COMING HOME THURSDAY STOP TELL WADE  



	14. Chapter 14

That night when Scarlett tucked Wade into bed he asked, “Mama, when is Uncle Rhett coming home?” 

Scarlett hesitated a moment before replying. Part of her wanted to tell Wade “as soon as he can” just as she had every other night, but Rhett had asked her to tell Wade. But what if any of the trains were delayed? Scarlett leaned forward and kissed Wade’s forehead then ran her fingers through his hair. “He’s trying to get here by Friday, but it depends on the trains.” 

“Friday!” Wade sat up and threw his arms around his mother. “Is that tomorrow?” 

“No darling, it’s not tomorrow, or the next day, or the next day, it’s the day after that.” 

“That’s so many days!” Wade wined. 

“It’s so many fewer than he was away. Now go to sleep, the sooner you go to sleep, the sooner it will be tomorrow and then one less day.” 

Wade laid back down. Scarlett smoothed his blankets and kissed his forehead one more time before whispering, “I love you, Wade, sweet dreams.”

“I love you too, Mama,” Wade’s sleepy voice answered. 

Scarlett gazed at the postcards tacked to the wall above Wade’s bed before extinguishing the gaslight and closing the nursery door. 

§§§

Tuesday passed in a blur where some moments dragged on excruciatingly and others raced by. Elijah took Scarlett to both mills before bringing her home in time for tea with Melly. It was Melly’s at home day and Scarlett could not go visiting so she waited longer than usual for Melly to come after the ladies had left. When Aunt Pitty and Melly finally came through the hedge and Aunt Pitty went to her room to nap, Scarlett drew Melly into a crushing hug. 

“Darling, what is it?” 

“Rhett is coming home! He telegrammed he will be here Thursday. Oh, Melly, I’m so happy!” 

“What wonderful news! I am so glad!” 

The sisters sat and sipped their tea and Scarlett ventured, “I told Wade Friday because, well, what if the trains are delayed? Wade misses Rhett so much and I didn’t want him to be disappointed if Rhett doesn’t arrive on Thursday.” 

“And won’t Wade be surprised when Captain Butler arrives on Thursday.” 

“I hope so, Melly.” 

“We should celebrate Captain Butler’s return.” 

“Melly! I’m in mourning!” 

“Oh, no, darling, I’m sorry, I don’t mean a party. I mean, we should have a family supper on Friday to welcome him home. Cookie and Dilcey can make something special for supper and we can even invite Uncle Henry.” 

“That’s a lovely idea, Melly. You should tell Aunt Pitty.” Scarlett and Melly giggled. 

When they quieted Melly squared her shoulders and said, “I will. You need your family during mourning and we are going to have supper to welcome home part of your family who has been away.” 

Scarlett squeezed Melly’s hand and whispered, “Thank you.” 

§§§

Scarlett spent Wednesday at the store. She was exhausted. She’d mistakenly thought telling Wade about Rhett’s train ride would soothe the boy but Wade had cried when he’d realized his beloved Uncle Rhett was where the Yankees lived. Then Wade’s screaming, “NO! Daddy! NOOOOOO!” had woken Scarlett in the early hours of Wednesday morning. Wade had been inconsolable for nearly half an hour he sat weeping on Scarlett’s lap as she rocked him. Scarlett whispered, “Shhhh, shhhhhh, you are all right, you are safe, I’ve got you, Uncle Rhett is safe, he’s coming home, shhhhhh, shhhhh,” as she stroked Wade’s back. 

Finally when Wade’s crying had ceased he whispered back, “Mama? I don’t want the Yankees to kill my daddy.” 

“I know, darling, they won’t. Uncle Rhett is coming home and you will see him very soon.” 

Scarlett had slept fitfully for a few hours before rising and going to the store where she had been cramped in the dusty back office for the past several hours. She was still working out the inventory problems there and it frustrated her. Frank hadn’t kept good records or even kept the records all in one place. There were things the listed on bills of lading that had no matching or similar record of sale that Scarlett couldn’t find anywhere, and things in the store with no purchase order or inventory record for. How could Scarlett tell if they were making a profit with records like this? She would have to close the store for a day and have the staff inventory every single item or pay them extra to work on a Sunday. Scarlett couldn’t decide which was worse. 

Scarlett was irritated at supper and short with Aunt Pitty. Pitty went up to bed early and eventually Scarlett followed. 

A few hours later Scarlett sat bolt upright in bed sweating and shaking. She hadn’t had a nightmare since the day she’d cried at the tree. She searched her mind, but she didn’t know what it was about. She couldn’t remember any mist or any other images from her dream. Scarlett frowned, she usually remembered her dreams. After her breathing slowed, Scarlett laid back down and rolled onto her belly to play her Rhett is with me right now imagining game. But sleep wouldn’t come. 

§§§ 

Rhett laid in his sleeper bunk Wednesday night and tried to allow the train’s swaying to lull him to sleep. Rhett’s return passage had been into strong winds and taken 18 days. When they finally landed in New York at first light Monday morning, Rhett had his baggage taken directly to the train station and went to the telegraph office. After sending his promised telegram Rhett went to the station and booked passage on the next train south. Because he refused to wait until the next day, he’d had to book a compartment on a shared sleeper car and having others in the lounge spaces irked him. He would have arrived in Atlanta at 11 pm Wednesday night had there been no delays, but, of course, there had been several including a five-hour delay in Washington. They would now arrive in Atlanta Thursday afternoon. 

Rhett sighed and pillowed his head on his clasped fingers. He thought of Scarlett and how he longed for their wedding night. He knew she would marry him and he was sure he could convince her to do it at the end of deep mourning in a year. He wasn’t sure how he was going to last for the next year without Scarlett in his bed. He thought about how she responded to his kisses and felt the stirring that alerted him he needed to think of something else while in a train compartment. 

Rhett sighed and turned onto his side eyeing the ribbon tied pile of the letters Scarlett had sent him. She’d never said she loved him in her letters and he’d always hoped she would. She’d closed her letters by saying she missed him, and often wrote she hoped his business and travels were smooth so he could come home soon. But he hadn’t directly written her he loved her either. He had, but it had been in his cards to Wade. Rhett knew she’d read them and understand and had hoped she would reply in kind, but she hadn’t. Well, perhaps it was best that they say those words to each other in person. 

Rhett rolled back onto his back and stared at the slightly swaying ceiling. He knew Scarlett loved him, but he wondered if she knew it yet. She had to be certain he loved her at this point. Perhaps that would be enough to make a happy marriage for them, but Rhett wanted Scarlett to know she loved him, he wanted Scarlett to be affectionate and he knew that if she knew loved him it would make their first relations easier on her. 

She hadn’t written of Ashley at all other than to say his shoulder had healed nicely and Ashley had returned to her mill. Hugh had been re-demoted to driving and Scarlett wanted to discuss this with him. He hoped she meant Hugh and Gallegher and Ashely’s mill not Ashley, but also knew if Scarlett wanted to discuss that wooden-headed gentleman he’d have to listen or she’d never think it through. 

Rhett looked at his jacket hanging on the hook near the bunk and imagined he could see into the pocket to the small box containing the engagement ring he’d bought for Scarlett. It was a cluster ring with a three-carat diamond surrounded by a ring of small emeralds. He’d wanted something elegant and with emeralds, but large enough for Scarlett to love it and had known this was the ring as soon as he laid eyes on it. Rhett imagined her gasp of joy at the jewelry and resolved not to propose to Scarlett until he was sure she knew that she was in love with him. 

§§§ 

Scarlett didn’t go to the mills Thursday. The telegram hadn’t said what time or on which train Rhett would return and Scarlett wanted to be home when he called. Second and fourth Thursdays were Aunt Pitty’s at home days and Scarlett suspected news of Rhett’s return had spread around Atlanta because it was three thirty and Mrs. Meade, Mrs. Elsing, Mrs. Merriwether, Mrs. Whiting, Mrs. Bonnell, Maybelle Picard, and Fanny Wellburn were all crammed into the parlor with Scarlett, Melly, and Aunt Pitty. They’d arrived promptly at one o’clock and no one had left. Scarlett had been shocked to see Fanny who was also in deep mourning as her husband Tommy had been killed in the raid with Frank. Maybelle had brought Raul along and he and Beau were up in the nursery with Wade, Ella, and Prissy. 

When the door knocker sounded Scarlett’s heart began to thud in her chest, she, Melly and Maybelle were seated on the sofa with their backs to the window so Scarlett hadn’t been able to see who had come up the walkway. Scarlett’s fingers stilled in the hat she was supposed to be knitting for Ella, she’d messed up the pattern terribly an hour ago and was going to have to rip off the whole thing anyway, but she didn’t want to in front of everyone. 

Rhett’s voice boomed into the library through the open door, “Hello Mammy, I’ve just returned to Atlanta and came to call on Miss Hamilton and Mrs. Kennedy, are they at home?” 

All of the women in the library saw the smile that lit Scarlett’s face. Scarlett wanted to run into the hall and throw her arms around Rhett but she absolutely could not in front the ladies of Atlanta. 

A moment later Rhett appeared in the doorway. He stepped into the room and bowed slightly saying, “Good afternoon, ladies, I see I’m interrupting a social gathering.” 

Just then there was a clatter in the hall and Wade threw himself onto the back of Rhett’s legs screaming, “Uncle Rhett! You came back! You came back! Uncle Rhett!” 

Rhett turned and squatted and drew the boy into his arms. He kissed the boy’s forehead and whispered, “I promised I would, son.” Mrs. Merriwether and Aunt Pitty were the only two sitting close enough to hear Rhett’s words but the story of how Charles Hamilton’s little boy was the one to bring the reprobate Rhett Butler to heel would be circulated through all of Atlanta by the end of supper. 

Wade threw his arms around Rhett’s neck and started sobbing. Rhett stood, holding Wade tightly to his chest and said, “Excuse us ladies,” before turning and carrying Wade out of the room. 

The room sat in stunned silence for a moment before Scarlett and Melly smiled at each other. Melly tilted her head towards the library across the hall and Scarlett squeezed Melly’s hand before rising and saying, “Excuse me, I must go see to Wade.” 

Scarlett entered the library and looked longingly at the doors she wished she could close. She was sure at least one person would be listening outside them. 

Rhett was seated on the library sofa with Wade across his lap. Wade clung onto Rhett, still sobbing, with his face buried in Rhett’s neck. When Scarlett walked in Rhett smiled up at her and patted the seat next to him. Scarlett smiled back and shook her head no, then tiled her head towards the parlor. Rhett smiled. 

Scarlett drew up a chair next to Rhett’s legs and sat rubbing her hand down Wade’s back. 

“Wade, darling, what’s the matter?” Scarlett was worried that her son was sobbing so hard, “Aren’t you happy Uncle Rhett is back?” 

“He’s all right, Scarlett, he just needs to cry it out.” 

The three sat without speaking for what seemed like an eternity to Scarlett before Wade shifted on Rhett’s lap so he could turn and see Scarlett. “Mama?” Wade asked laying his head down on Rhett’s shoulder. 

“What, darling?” 

“Is today Friday?” 

“No, baby, tomorrow is Friday, remember?” 

“But supper is tomorrow then.” 

“We have supper every …” Scarlett started before realizing what her son meant, “Oh, you mean our welcome home supper for Uncle Rhett?” 

“Yes,” Wade snuffled. 

Rhett beamed down at Wade, “I’d love to come over for supper tomorrow, Wade. Were you worried I wouldn’t come?” 

“No. I want it to be today.” 

“Wade, darling, everyone is planning on tomorrow so our celebration will be tomorrow, but what do you think about inviting Uncle Rhett to have supper with you and me and Aunt Pitty tonight?”

Wade nodded. Scarlett smiled up at Rhett, “We planned your welcome home party for tomorrow in case the trains were late. But, will you stay for supper tonight too?” 

“I’d love to,” Rhett replied reaching out and caressing Scarlett’s face. 

“Good,” Scarlett nodded, “I have to go back in there,” she tilted her head towards the parlor, “before my reputation is ruined. Will you be all right in here?” 

Rhett nodded, “We will, we have a lot of catching up to do.” 

Scarlett squeezed Rhett’s fingers and kissed Wade’s head before crossing the hall to the parlor. 

§§§ 

Supper had been a jovial affair for the family and Rhett regaled them with tales of his travels and the places he’d visited. While they were eating Elijah brought a crate into the parlor. After supper they retired to the parlor and Rhett opened the crate and began handing out the gifts he’d brought home for the children and Scarlett. He’d even handed Pitty her own packet of bon bons and some yards of white lace. After the gifts had been opened Aunt Pitty kindly made herself scarce. 

Rhett and Scarlett and the children sat in the parlor and talked about Rhett’s trip and Scarlett’s time at Tara. Wade played with the train set Rhett had brought him. Rhett marveled at Ella’s crawling. Scarlett laughed, “I think she finally became so angry with Wade and Beau for moving things out of her reach she learned how.” 

Soon it was time for Scarlett to go upstairs and nurse Ella and put her to bet. She looked at her boys while juggling the fussy baby. Scarlett felt calm. She trailed her fingers down Rhett’s arm while she explained she needed to put the baby to bed. 

Rhett smiled up at her, “we gentlemen will wait for you on the porch.” 

Ella was restless after all of the excitement and it was after eight thirty when Scarlett walked out onto the porch. Rhett was sitting in one of the rockers with Wade on his lap talking animatedly about chasing rabbits at Tara. 

She stood and watched them for a while before saying, “Wade, it’s well past your bed time, give Uncle Rhett a kiss and let’s go tuck you in.” 

“No!” 

“Wade!” Scarlett warned. 

Rhett shot Scarlett a look requesting she let him handle it and she nodded. 

“Wade, son, your mother says it’s bedtime.” 

Wade buried his face into Rhett’s neck. 

“Why don’t you want to go to bed?” 

“I don’t want you to leave.” 

“Don’t I always come back when I promise to?”

“Yes,” the boy admitted grudgingly. 

“Good boy, well, you go on up to bed and I’ll see you tomorrow. We are having supper together, remember you and me and your mother and Auntie Melly and Uncle Ashley and Beau and Aunt Pitty.” 

“And Uncle Henry,” Scarlett added. 

“What about the morning?” Wade whined. 

“I won’t be here then. I’ll be here for supper.” 

“No.” 

“Wade, it’s time for bed son, go do as your mother asked.” 

Wade picked his head off of Rhett’s neck, “Will you tuck me in?” 

Rhett looked at Scarlett. After a pause she nodded and whispered, “I can’t go up with you, give me a kiss, Wade.” 

Wade slid of Rhett’s knee and gave his mother a hug and kiss, then he extended his small hand to Rhett and they went inside. 

Scarlett stood on the porch thinking. She had so much she wanted to talk about with Rhett, but first she had to tell Rhett about Melly’s campaign before he heard about it from someone else. 

§§§ 

When Rhett came back outside a short time later Scarlett was still standing at the porch rail staring off into the street. 

“Is he asleep?”

“Yes.”

“Thank you for tucking him in, Rhett.” 

Rhett came and stood beside her putting his hand on her back, “What’s got you thinking so hard, my dear?” 

“Oh, Rhett, it’s um… promise you won’t get angry?” 

Rhett laughed, “Have you done something?” 

“Oh, no. Not me, Melly.” 

“Melly has done something?” 

“Yes!” 

“And you think it might make me angry?” 

“Perhaps?” Scarlett answered unsure. 

Rhett danced his fingers down Scarlett’s back and she shivered. 

“What is it?” 

“Promise me?”

“I promise, I won’t be angry with you. What happened?”

Scarlett squared her shoulders and took a deep breath. “Well, Rhett, you see, I wrote to Melly from Tara about Wade’s nightmares and how I was worried and when I returned we were discussing it and, um… I may have mentioned that I worried about how long we would have to wait until it was proper to marry and Melly decided that Wade needs you and Ella needs you and they shouldn’t have wait so, she um, she’s campaigning Mrs. Merriwether and Mrs. Mead and Mrs. Elsing and Mrs. Whiting to the idea that we should marry soon.” 

“What is she doing?” 

“Well, I’m sure I don’t know. I haven’t seen her do anything. But it’s working Rhett, they smile at me more and last week I had to take Ella to Dr. Meade because she vomited and I brought Wade and Mrs. Meade was so nice and she was smiling and she watched Wade in the parlor and it made me a little nervous, Rhett.” 

Rhett laughed, “I could see how that would. What was wrong with Ella?” 

“Oh, nothing, Dr. Meade said she must have eaten something that disagreed with her. She’s old enough now and at Tara I started giving her mashed potatoes and applesauce and she’s trying new foods and I think that Prissy fed her something she shouldn’t.” 

“She seemed all right tonight, is she well now?” 

Scarlett smiled and leaned her head back onto Rhett’s shoulder and he shifted his fingers to her arm. “Yes, very well. She was only sick that one time. Rhett?” 

“Hmmm?” 

“She loves mashed yams.” 

Rhett’s laugh bellowed into the street. 

They stood in silence for a time, Rhett running his fingers up and down Scarlett’s arm and Scarlett’s head leaned back onto his shoulder. 

“Where would you like to go on our honeymoon?” 

“Rhett!” Scarlett’s head snapped up. Was he just taking for granted that she was going to marry him? Because of what she told him about Melly? Wasn’t he going to ask her as he promised? 

Rhett looked at her panic-stricken face and drew her down onto the swing with him and putting his arm around her answered her unasked question, “I promised, Scarlett. I will. But not right now. Tonight let’s just talk for a while, all right?” 

Scarlett nodded. 

“So where would you like to go?” 

“Well, uh, anywhere Rhett, but, ah … depending on when … ah…Ella is weaning and would you mind so very much waiting until, until she is weaned? She still needs me at night.” 

Delight filled Rhett’s heart, could this be the same woman who didn’t want to put up with a baby every year? He smiled and stroked her arm, “I wouldn’t mind in the least. Where would you like to go?” 

“Anywhere you want to take me, Rhett.” 

“How about we honeymoon in New Orleans, I think you’ll like it, and we won’t be too far from the children. Then next time I need to travel overseas we can all go to London and Paris.” 

“Really?” 

“Yes. Wouldn’t you like that?” 

“Very much! Wade would like it too.” 

“I thought he might.” 

Rhett could see worry lingered in her eyes. 

“Scarlett, you are still worried about something, darling, what is it?” 

“Wade, Rhett. I worry how he will be while we are both away. He still has awful nightmares.” 

“Hmmm. Well, I think he will grow out of them soon. And I think he should stay with Melly while we are gone, not Aunt Pitty. And if you really don’t think he will be all right when the time comes we can either take him with us, or wait and go on a trip just the two of us when he is older and the nightmares have faded, or we can go somewhere much closer, or we’ll work something out Scarlett, don’t worry.” 

Scarlett nodded, “He, uh, Rhett, he still climbs into my bed at night sometimes. Will you…” 

Rhett laughed, “Will I be upset with him?” 

Scarlett nodded. 

“No, why would you think I would be? He’s a little boy, and he’s scared. Scarlett, he just needs love and stability and he’ll grow out of his nightmares, you’ll see.” 

“What if… uh…what if we …” Rhett watched Scarlett turned red to her hairline. 

“What if we are having relations?” 

“Oh,” Scarlett gasped and covered her face with her hands. Rhett looked down at her pink ears and smiled. She was bolder than he’d ever seen her this evening. Maybe she’d grown up at Tara. 

“Scarlett, we’ll lock the door when we have relations and if Wade’s having a nightmare then, we’ll get dressed and go get him.” 

Scarlett made a noise Rhett couldn’t understand. 

“What was that, my dear?” 

“How can you talk about such things?” She whispered. 

Rhett looked at her covered face and sighed. She had surely been mistreated by Charles or Frank or both and the nonsense her mother told her about bearing it in order to have babies wasn’t helping either. “Scarlett, are you worried about relations?” Scarlett nodded into her hands. 

“Scarlett, honey, uncover your face,” Rhett tugged her hands down. “Look at me, I promise you I will never hurt you. You will like relations.” 

“No, Rhett, I don’t,” she cast her eyes down and shook her head sadly. 

“You haven’t so far, but it will be different between us.” 

Scarlett’s brows drew down in confusion. Rhett traced his fingertips down the side of her face. “You like kissing me, don’t you?” 

“Oh!” Scarlett turned to hide her face in his neck. 

Rhett laughed and squeezing her to him whispered in her ear, “It’s better than kissing, honey, I promise.” 

Scarlett shook her head no. Rhett sighed and placed his cheek on the top of her head, “Scarlett, honey, this is something you will just have to trust me about until it’s time.” 

Scarlett took a deep breath, “I may never like it, Rhett.” 

“I don’t think that’s what will happen, but if it is, honey, I promise you at least won’t hate it and it won’t hurt. Everything will be all right.” 

Scarlett didn’t answer. 

Rhett traced his fingers down her cheek, “Why don’t you just not think about this until tomorrow, or better yet, wait until we are married.” 

Scarlett and Rhett both chuckled. Rhett could feel Scarlett’s face scrunch against his neck, “Scarlett, relations are a natural thing for a husband and wife to talk about. You’ll have to get used to it.” 

“No, Rhett,” and then she mumbled something the only word of which Rhett could understand was “Watling.”

Rhett paused a moment waiting for her to continue. When it was clear she would not Rhett whispered, “Scarlett, honey, when we marry I will never have relations with her again.” Feeling her squirm under his arm he added, “and I haven’t since I first asked you to marry me. Do you remember before I left I told you other women are not what I want? I was telling you the truth, Scarlett.” 

It was some time before Scarlett’s voice broke the stillness, “Rhett?”

“Hmm, is there something else worrying you?” 

“No, well yes, ah no. I was wondering, is there anything worrying you?” 

Rhett smiled, “No, darling, not anymore.” 

“What was it?”

“That worried me? I think you know.” 

Scarlett pulled herself out of Rhett’s arms and sat up, looking him in the eye, she put her hand on his cheek and said softly, “I’m not in love with Ashley, Rhett. At Tara I realized I never really was, I was in love with a dream. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t realize it so much sooner.” 

Rhett pulled Scarlett to him and kissed her forehead, “I’m just glad you know it now.” 

Scarlett settled her head back against Rhett’s shoulder and he put his arm around her. Scarlett sighed, she had missed being tucked under his arm like this while he was away. Scarlett scooted as close to him as she could and wrapped her arms around his middle. Rhett sighed and Scarlett tilted her head to rest her chin on chest and asked, “Rhett, do you love me?” 

“Yes.” 

“No, I’m sorry, I meant are you in love with me.”

“Scarlett, you know I am.” 

“Good.” Scarlett’s smile lit her whole face and her emerald eyes danced. Rhett chuckled and hugged her to him. 

Scarlett pressed her forehead into Rhett’s neck and breathed deeply. “And you knew that I was in love with you?” 

“Yes.” 

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?” 

“I wanted you to realize it on your own.” 

“I think you could have helped me.” 

“I think I did.” 

“Not nearly enough,” Scarlett sighed enjoying the feeling of closeness. She felt Rhett moving his other arm but didn’t pick her head up from his chest. As long as he didn’t move the arm wrapped around her back she didn’t care what he was doing. She never wanted to leave his embrace. 

Rhett kissed her forehead and she smiled tilting her face up to his. “Scarlett,” Rhett whispered as he brought an open ring box with the glittering diamond and emerald ring into her view. “I bought you something else in England. Marry me.”

Scarlett’s eyes went wide. Her heart was pounding and she thought Rhett could probably feel it against his chest. She reached for the ring and Rhett pulled it away laughing, “not until you say yes.” 

Scarlett brought her arm back around Rhett and squeezed him tightly to her. She turned her face back into Rhett’s chest and breathed deeply, she loved the smell of him. She felt his heart pounding under her cheek and smiled. He really did love her. 

“Yes.” She smiled and turned her face up to his so he could kiss her.


End file.
